Although your HR department might not approve, it’s only natural that you will be interested in a co-worker.

You spend all your time with this person, have lunch together most days of the week, share wins and losses, and are constantly working on the same team toward a shared goal.

So of course, you’re going to bond with someone like this.

Proximity breeds attraction. This is the Mere Exposure Effect.

The Mere Exposure Effect is our tendency to develop preferences and attraction for things and people that we are familiar with. The more you’re around someone, the more you will like them.

It’s almost inevitable that you’ll fall for someone at work and will want to strike up a relationship, but this is risky business.

One wrong move could land you a date with HR instead of your workplace crush.

The first and most crucial step towards a relationship has to do with how to invite a woman from work on a date.

Let’s walk you through this step so you know just how to play it when you ask her out.

How to Invite a Woman From Work on a Date

One of the best ways to start a workplace relationship is to not ask her on a date.

Wait… what?

Build A Rapport At Work

Do you know for certain if she’ll say yes when you ask her out?

If you never interact with this person you have no idea. Maybe she works in another department at the corporate headquarters you work at and you rarely see her.

Make it a point to bump into her.

Make excuses to go to her department, hang out in common areas, ask around to see if anyone knows anything about her. Make it a point to get to know her better.

If you have opportunities to interact, make sure it’s not all work-related. Learn about her, joke with her, and enjoy yourself with her (think Jim and Pam banter minus all the pranks). Maybe after a couple of chats you learn that you don’t even want to go out with her. Knowing this before asking her out will save you so much stress.

Ask Her Out Without Asking Her Out

No doubt there is a cafe, lunch area, or nearby restaurants at your work.

Instead of going 0-100 and asking her on a date, start by asking what she’s doing for lunch. Invite her to lunch with you and co-workers, or solo lunch.

To be clear, this is not a date. 

This is just one co-worker asking another to have lunch together, because, hey no one wants to eat lunch alone.

Tell her something like, “Hey I’m checking out this Mexican place down the street for lunch, want to join?”

It’s that easy.

When at lunch, do not offer to pay. This will confuse her. This is simply two friends grabbing a work lunch.

Ask her to lunch a few times. If she always says no, chances are she doesn’t want to go on a date. 

If she does say yes and you two find yourselves having lunch all the time, chances are that you two have a good rapport. After rapport has been established, you may want to consider asking her on a date. Should she say yes, make sure you use the word date in your TDL. Being that you two are work friends she may be confused as to what you’re offering. Inserting the word, date, will make things crystal clear.

Find Out If She Has A Boyfriend

If you’re consistently having lunch with her it should be easy enough to find out if she has a BF. Naturally, she’d bring up plans she has with her BF for the weekend or what she and her BF did last weekend.

Be certain of her relationship status before asking her out.

Knowing if she’s single could save you an awkward conversation later on.

If she does say she has a boyfriend, be cool. There could be a strong chance she’s scouting you for one of her single friends.

Check With HR Prior

Maybe HR has a strict no work romance policy. 

You won’t know until you investigate.

Find out what the deal is before wasting your time and putting you and her in an awkward work position.

Be Near Certain Of Her Answer

It’s difficult to know if a woman is interested in you.

This is the case while on a date, at a party, in a bar, and most certainly with a co-worker.

Asking her out and being rejected may well create an awkwardness in the office that lasts for quite a while. You’d hate to ruin a good thing and create a weird dynamic between you and one of your closest co-workers.

There are a few ways to know if a woman is interested in you:

• She always laughs at your jokes
• Seeks you out
• Invites you to lunch or to hang out
• Playfully touches you (esp in the workplace where touch is almost forbidden)
• Mirrors your behavior
• Loves your input and always complements you on your work
• Advocates for you in the workplace
• Is interested in your private life

If you’re looking for more clearcut indications she’s into you in the workplace you probably won’t find them.

To heat things up and get a little flirty, meet up at a happy hour where a bunch of your co-workers will be there. With a drink in each of your systems and a non-professional setting you may really see her let loose and show you how she feels about you.

If you want to do a bit of snooping prior to asking her out this isn’t a bad idea. Maybe you have a mutual friend who is close and may know if she’s into you or not. Ask this friend, but don’t go around taking a poll. You don’t want word to spread that you’re into a co-worker before knowing if she’s into you.

The Script For How To Invite a Woman From Work on a Date

So, you’ve done your homework and know that she’s single, you two have built rapport, you’re not breaking an HR policy by asking her out, and you know that she’s almost guaranteed to say yes.

Now it’s time to invite her on a date.

The first step is to ask her to a 1-on-1 lunch. You two don’t have to go out to a restaurant but just make sure you’re alone when you ask her out. Ideally, you’re away from work, but still close enough where you two can go your separate ways should things become awkward afterward.

Once you’re at lunch you’ll want to wait until you’re close to the end to pop the question. How horrible would it be if you asked her the moment you sat down, she rejected you, and then you had to spend an awkward 30-minute lunch together? 

Wait until near the end just in case she says no and things sour.

After a bit of banter tell her you’d like to ask her something, then say…