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How to Get Out of Your Head On a Date

By Emyli LovzJanuary 6, 2019Conversation
how to get out of your head on a date

There aren’t many situations that cause as much self-analysis as a first or second date. If you’re someone who is desperate to get out of your head on a date, you’re not alone.

The pressure that comes with a date (especially one where you’re with someone you really, really like) can elicit overwhelming anxiety in even the coolest of cucumbers.

Focusing inwardly and allowing jitters to overwhelm you can sabotage a budding romance before it’s even begun. But it doesn’t have to be that way.


Check out my 7 tips below for ways to get out of your head on a date so you can stop ruminating and start romancing.

How to Get Out of Your Head on a Date Tip #1: Pay Attention to What Feels Good to You

If you need to get out of your head on a date, try shifting your focus. A lot of times, people who can’t get out of their head on a date are busy focusing on the things that are causing them discomfort. You may be overwhelmed by the heat of the restaurant you’re in, concerned about the noise level or simply drowning in worry over saying or doing something stupid.

To get out of your head on a date where this is occurring, try to find at least one or two things in your environment that make you feel good. If you like the music at the venue, focus on that and also mention it to your date (but don’t simply get lost in the music).

Focusing on the positive instead of the negative will automatically put you in a better state of mind.

Tip #2: Pay Attention to How You’re Feeling During the Date

You don’t need to force away nerves or anxiety on a date. Rather, take inventory of your feelings and manage them appropriately by being mindful.

Mindfulness is the conscious observation of your thoughts and actions in the present moment with the absence of judgment. When you practice mindfulness, you are focusing on the current situation in front of you, and the way you feel about the situation.

Learn more about mindfulness and how to apply mindfulness to your dating life by checking out my article, How Mindful Dating Can Help You Find Your Most Ideal Girlfriend.

Tip #3: Get Yourself in the Right “State” Before the Date

If you want to get out of your head on a date, preparation is key. This means getting yourself into a healthy headspace before the date even starts.


Just like a runner wouldn’t take off sprinting before warming up, entering a date with confidence takes a little preparation.

As you’re getting ready for the date, do the following:

  • Listen to music that energizes you and makes you feel confident
  • Set aside a decent amount of time to get ready so you aren’t rushing and can take your time
  • Spray on a nice cologne that makes you feel sexy
  • Talk to some friends in person or on the phone
  • Do things that make you feel sexy, confident and masculine

Tip #4: Have a Solid Pre-Date Ritual

Piggybacking off of my last tip, I suggest you have a solid pre-date ritual that gets you out of your head before the date has even begun!

Some ideas for your pre-date ritual could include:

  • Enjoying a soak in your jacuzzi
  • Meditation
  • Listening to music
  • Sipping on a nice whiskey
  • Drinking a coffee
  • Having a cold beer (just one though)

Tip #5: Ask Questions Howard Stern Style

Have you ever noticed that Howard Stern is able to get even the most tight-lipped celebrities to share their most intimate secrets?

The prodding host is able to gain a lot of information (and provide listeners with a super entertaining broadcast) by doing the following:

  • He asks questions in a confident, casual manner
  • The questions are compelling and aren’t what you typically hear interviewers ask
  • He gets personal without being intimidating or pressuring answers out of his guests
  • He does his homework well in advance

To get out of your head on a date, ask your date compelling questions in the style of Howard Stern. Not only will this make the date more interesting for both of you but it will make you come off as more appealing. Women love it when a man not only listens to them but actively engages with them.

Another person who is a master at charm and doles out great advice on this subject is Dax Shepard. During an appearance on Ellen, he advised actively listening and being interested when talking to a woman. When you treat a date conversation as an exciting way to learn more about some and show them your interest by engaging, asking follow-up questions and making those questions compelling, the chemistry between you and that person escalates exponentially.

And if you need some direction on which questions to ask, check out my article, Top 30 Questions to Ask a Girl You Like.


Tip #6: Choose Compelling Date Locations

Don’t rely solely on your charm and conversational strategy when it comes to figuring out how to get out of your head on a date. Save yourself some trouble (and increase your chances of success) by choosing compelling locations for your dates.

Choose dates that take place in nature, visit a museum or aquarium, or pick an adventurous date like riding a roller coaster at your local fair or go-kart racing.

When you choose dates that take place in compelling environments that get you moving, it’s much easier to get out of your head and actually enjoy yourself.

And yes, when you’re in dating mode- you should be constantly scouting new dating locations. It helps to make a list on your smartphone. This way, you can easily craft a TDL at the end of your first date without having to get lost in your head!

Tip #7: Treat Dating Like an Experiment

Look at dating as an opportunity to experience new things, learn and grow as a person. Also, look at dating as a way to research facets of the dating world you’ve been unaware of. Try dating apps you’ve never tried before, pick adventurous date locations that offer activities you’ve always wanted to try view each date — good or bad — as an opportunity for learning.

When you treat dating as a fun research experiment, it’s suddenly so much easier to get out of your head on a date.

I learned that this is a great way to navigate the dating world when I embarked on my 100-date experiment. The main strategy I used during this experiment was MegaDating.


What is MegaDating?

MegaDating is a dating process that involves dating people concurrently in order to diffuse energy by keeping your social calendar full. When you date several people at the same time, anxiety decreases and confidence increases.

Because you’re dating more than one person at once, there’s less pressure. The pain of rejection is lessened because you won’t be chasing after one woman, fearing that one wrong move could leave you alone in the friendzone.

In fact, MegaDating elicits an unconscious sense of competition in women. Thus, MegaDating causes women to chase after you instead of the other way around.

I used MegaDating to find fun and success in the dating world. It worked for me and it can work for you too!

Ready to get started?

Get Out of Your Head On Every Date

If you’re ready to overcome your dating roadblocks and crush your goals, head over to my calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. During our session, we will work together to create an action plan tailored to your specific needs and personality. This action plan will provide a roadmap to your personal success.

Since completing my experiment, I’ve spent my career as a dating coach helping men all over the world improve their self-esteem, attract droves of gorgeous women and find lasting love. I can’t wait to do the same for you.

Talk to you soon!