So you’re dating a woman in her 30s eh?

In your 20s, dating was easy. 

College was filled with 10-20k single women around your age and that shared more or less the same interests and political views. Meeting and dating women was easy when you had hundreds of compatible single women living in your very own building. This changes a bit when you graduate college, but still, there are plenty of single women in their 20s to choose from. They’re at your parties, the bars you frequent, and the concerts you hit up every Saturday. Women in their 20s are receptive to new experiences, now energized by the social and financial freedom a job and apartment away from parents grant them. 

But with age, the dating scene changes. The abundance and goals of 20-year-old women dry up as they slide into their 30s. The spontaneous trips out of the city, late-night drinking at O’Reilly’s, and raucous house parties are no longer considered acceptable date nights. The dating scene has gone through a metamorphosis of sorts. To prepare for dating a woman in her 30s, here are…..

9 Tips for Dating a Woman in Her 30’s

Realize She’s Been To About 7 Weddings In The Past Few Years

The median age at first marriage in the United States for women is 27.7 years of age. By the time the woman you’re dating turned 30, there’s no doubt that most of her female friends were married. After attending a few weddings as a bridesmaid, she naturally started asking herself, “when will it be my turn?” Then you came along. 

For her -and maybe even yourself- you might feel the urge to pull the trigger. Socially and biologically she’s being pressured. Most of her friends are married, she only has so many childbearing years left, and there’s now a scarcity of men left in the dating world. All these thoughts may culminate in her trying to push the relationship forward faster than it should. Be leery if she tries to fast-track the relationship. If things are moving too quickly, here’s what you do.

Be Honest

If she mentions marriage early on or her plans for you in the future, tell her about your dating policy. In order to get to know someone adequately before jumping into a relationship, implement a 90-day dating policy. This means that no matter how much you two like each other, you can’t have the relationship talk until after the 90-day mark. This will put her romantic desires in check as well as yours. 90 days will give you more time to get to know the person and more variables to analyze that will help determine if she’s right for you. 

Know That Her Clock Is Ticking

We touched on this, but her fertility clock needs more addressing. 

A women’s ability to have a child peaks and plateaus from their late teens to late 20s. Once the mid-30s are reached, that decline begins to accelerate rapidly. Pregnancy in one’s late 30s can result in complications for both the mother and child. The internal clock is real. With age the chances of having a child with defects and not being able to have a child at all both increase dramatically. She not only knows this because all her friends and family members are telling her, but also because she feels it internally. 

It’s unfortunate and unfair that women feel the need to rush into relationships, but it’s the reality. Seeing as we can’t change that, the best you can do is roll with the situation. So how do you diffuse a ticking fertility time bomb? 

Sit Her Down and Say This…

If she tries to rush into a relationship for the purpose of having a child, tactfully remind her that it’s crucial that she chooses the right father, not just some dude that has his hand and penis raised. 

If she’s really pressuring you to move forward faster than you’d like, let her go. She’s clearly on a mission. If your objectives don’t align, let her be. Leading a woman on who’s so desperately trying to build something meaningful will hurt both of you. If you’re worried about finding another woman, try MegaDating. With MD, you’ll find and date various singles on a weekly basis, thus decreasing your urge to settle. 

Don’t Waste Time

Let’s belabor this point a bit more. You, like her, might be dealing with scarcity bias. The dating pool has shrunk for the both of you. Even if she’s not perfect you may be too scared to break things off. Realize that this isn’t the last woman you’ll date.

If you found her, you’ll surely be able to find another. There’s no point in dating a woman that you know you don’t want to spend your life with. Break things off and move on before you feel too invested to leave. MegaDating can help with this. 

Stop Searching For Perfection

Sure you don’t want to settle, but there’s also a reason you’re still single. Could it be that your standards are too high? That just one blemish could turn you off? Examine your preferences. Focus on whether or not you’re happy rather than whether or not she’s your soul mate. Relax man, this isn’t a fairytale, if you keep searching for the one you’ll reject a bunch of awesome women.  

She’s Likely Chosen or Settled Into Her Career

Dating a woman in her 30s could go one of two ways. 

The way we’ve already discussed entails a woman running out of time and trying to accelerate romantic relationships. The polar opposite is a woman that is reluctant to become ensconced in a romantic relationship. This is most likely because she’s more loyal to her work than any man. She’s spent her 20s building a worthy professional career. She isn’t about to sabotage everything for some guy. 

In her experience, dude’s come and go. But a high paying job with benefits can’t be merely swiped right on. It’s less likely that she’ll date you if you complain about your job, ask her to move for work, distract her from her career, are not professionally-minded, or are negative about your work. She doesn’t want to be knocked off her flow. 

The more professionally put together you are, the more attractive you’ll be. Be content with your work and understand the trajectory you’re on. In this way you’ll be able to invest heavily in a woman in her 30s. 

Remember that she’s also approaching the time of her life when she’s thinking about settling down and building a family. She’ll only be willing to invest in you if you’re financially and emotionally stable. 

Just Have Fun

As we’ve discussed, pressure can mount and force you to make lasting romantic decisions when you’re in your 30s. A few years ago, dating was casual. You’d date someone for a few months and then hop into a new relationship, unworried by the need to start a relationship and settle down. 

With time now working against you, it may feel like your date needs to check off boxes more-so than make you feel happy. The latter is always more important than a superficial checklist. Sure if having kids is a big deal for you and she’s not into it, that’s an issue. But for the most part, her liking the same music or having a similar upbringing might just not be that important. Early on in the relationship just focus on turning back the clock and enjoying each other. 

Understand She May Be Divorced or Fresh Out Of A Long Relationship

The women in their 20s didn’t have a laundry list of romantic relationships. There were a few summer flings, her on and off again boyfriend from college, and a few Tinder hookups. But with time she’s built a few meaningful relationships. 

By the time she’s in her 30s, there’s no doubt she’s experienced strong feelings for a few guys. These feelings may have culminated in a long-term relationship or even marriage and subsequent divorce. Find out if she has emotional baggage. Carefully talk about her exs, discern whether she still has feelings and if her former lovers are still in the picture. 

Is she divorced, does she have kids, and is the ex still present? Get these questions answered earlier rather than later on in the relationship. 

Guys In Their 20s: Tips For Dating A Woman In Her 30s

You my friend are bucking the trend. Men are the ones with a habit of dating women younger than them. Women are the other hand tend to date older men. For whatever reason, she digs you. That reason, however, has nothing to do with your immaturity. She isn’t dating you because of your kick-ass ability to do a keg-stand or because you still consider a microwaved cup of noodles a respectable dinner. If you want her to stick around you’ll need to mature.

She may be or has dated guys that already own cars and houses, vacation to Rome, and eat spinach. On the other hand you likely don’t have the financial, professional, or social baggage that older men do. Use your youth, spontaneity, energy, and free time to win her over. Older men are already jaded by the dating scene. They’re ready to spend Friday nights binging Netflix and falling asleep by 10. That’s not her. 

Use your vitality to hike Mt. Tam, bike ride, and adopt new hobbies. Show her that life doesn’t have to end when you’re in your mid-30s, but with you, it’s only just begun. If you don’t have a resume as impressive as other guys she’s dated, tell her about your aspirations. Tell her you’re in school getting your Master’s, that you love to learn, and that you one day hope to own your own company. Whatever the case may be, highlight your professional dreams and accomplishments. 

And by the way. Women generally do prefer older men. However, the changes once they turn about 33. At this point, women begin to find men slightly younger than them more attractive than older men. That’s not me talking, it’s just the data. 

Guys in their 30s: Tips for Dating a Woman in Her 30s

Whereas 20-somethings can be immature, you’re perfect. You’ve come into her life as she’s looking for a long-term partner. Perhaps dudes in their 20s just aren’t serious contenders, but you are. By nature of being her age and more or less in the same stage of your life, you’re considered marriage material. You’ve got your shit together, aren’t in loads of student debt, don’t live with Mom and Dad, and vacation to places other than Myrtle Beach and Vegas. 

By nature of being at a similar stage in both of your lives, she’s into you. If you’re not ready to settle down, consider dating women in their 20s.

Guys in their 40s: Tips For Dating A Woman In Her 30s

You’re now a silver fox. Seasoned, emotionally and socially mature, and financially stable. For her, it doesn’t matter that you’re a bit more grey than the men she’s dated in the past. She’s looking forward because she doesn’t want to look back. Previous guys were too immature for her, that’s why she’s into you. 

I tend to advise my clients to date women that are no more than 10 years your junior. It’ll be easier to connect with someone that’s less than a decade younger than you. You two will have grown up on more or less the same shows, have been impacted by similar major events, and will now be at the same point of your social and professional paths. 

If at some point you find yourself dating a woman much younger than yourself, figure out why. Write down what you want from the relationship. She has her reasons for dating up, you should have yours for dating down. You don’t need a litany of reasons. Perhaps you just hit it off with this person. Just understand that complications may arise at a later time. Be ready to deal with awkward moments should they arise. 

Dating a Woman in Her 30’s Wrap-Up:

Are you a bit confused as to how to date a woman in her 30s? No worries. I’ve helped plenty of men deal with dating women both younger and older than themselves. Let’s confront some of these issues together via a 1-on-1 New Client Skype Session. Through my 3-month Signature Program, you’ll not only learn how to date a woman of any age, but how to mine for dates, accelerate social bonds, and find a woman you want to spend the rest of your life with.