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10 Reasons Why You Don’t Need a San Francisco Matchmaker

By Emyli LovzDecember 25, 2018SF Bay Area
san francisco matchmaker

Dating can be tricky no matter where you live. But if you live in a major metropolitan city like San Francisco, finding romance can be especially difficult. San Francisco is an amazing place bustling with activities, gorgeous views, and impressive career opportunities. But all that bustle doesn’t always lend itself to the dating world. This is one reason why you might be considering looking up a San Francisco matchmaker.

After all, why go through the trouble of navigating your way through this city’s challenging dating landscape when a San Francisco matchmaker can bring eligible singles to you? Well, there are actually quite a few reasons you should steer clear of matchmaking services when it comes to finding a long-term compatible partner.

Below, check out 10 reasons why you don’t need a San Francisco matchmaker to find love. Along with these reasons, I’ll offer alternative (and more affordable) solutions to help you overcome your dating roadblocks and achieve your dating and relationship goals.



Reason #1: Most Matchmakers Won’t Coach You Weekly

When you hire a San Francisco matchmaker, you can depend on them to match you with different singles that, hopefully, you’re compatible with. However, this matchmaking isn’t going to provide you with tools and strategies to overcome obstacles in the dating world. In other words, a San Francisco matchmaker isn’t going to coach you each week.

And when you’re trying to find the most compatible partner, coaching is essential. Dating is very much a trial-and-error process. It’s important that you have an objective view when it comes to analyzing your missteps and using those missteps as learning opportunities.

In a nutshell, weekly coaching sessions:

  • Keep you focused on track
  • Holds you accountable, so that you’re motivated to keep putting yourself out there
  • Help you reach your goals faster
  • Offer support when dating gets rough
  • Helps you understand what women are thinking
  • Makes you more competitive
  • Helps you avoid making the same mistakes as everyone else by pointing out blind spots
  • Gives you a set time each week to discuss the women you’re dating to figure out what you’re doing right and wrong

Reason #2: Matchmakers Are Extremely Expensive

If you’re thinking of hiring a San Francisco matchmaker, take a hard look at your finances.

Matchmakers are quite costly. In fact, a San Francisco matchmaking service could cost you $5,000- and even up to $150,000 for certain programs. And as expensive as these programs are, you’re not guaranteed to find lasting love.

The cost of living in San Francisco is much higher than other places in the United States — approximately 62.6% higher, in fact! And although salaries tend to be much higher than other areas in response to our super expensive real estate, can you honestly say that you’d be comfortable spending over six figures on a matchmaker, knowing that there’s a chance it won’t work out?

Alternatively, most dating coaching programs cost less than $2,000. Rather than match you up with someone you don’t know, coaching programs provide you with expert techniques so that you can do the fishing yourself and are more likely to attract a high-quality, compatible partner.

Reason #3: You’ll Get Antsy

Honestly, hiring a San Francisco matchmaker means that you’re going to have to wait. The amount of dates you receive is reliant on the amount of work the matchmaker wants to put into finding you a partner.

If your matchmaker decided they don’t want to put in an exorbitant amount of work once the check is cashed, that’s his/her prerogative.

Reason #4: It’s Expensive for Matchmakers to Fill Their Database

I used to run a matchmaking program here at EmLovz. Do you know how expensive it is to keep a matchmaking database filled with singles who are ready to jump on a date right when the opportunity presents itself? It’s crazy expensive.



Single guys who sign up for matchmaking services often don’t realize how difficult it is for these matchmakers to keep their database filled. It’s actually really expensive for matchmakers to continually fill their database because they need to spend money to do this via things like Facebook and Google ads.

So if you’re chatting with a matchmaker, ask them where they are going to find the “matches” they plan on setting you up with. Often, the honest answer is that these matchmakers are finding singles at bars, through friends of friends, or at MeetUp.com events. Are you willing to risk $25,000 on this?

Reason #5: Traditional Matchmaking is an Old Model

As far as dating models go, matchmaking is pretty archaic. Sorry not sorry.

Finding a San Francisco matchmaker is right up there with posting a man-seeking-woman personal ad in the newspaper. And how many people do you know that still read the newspaper?

Things have changed drastically now that we’re in a digital age. While using online dating sites like Match.com and OkCupid used to seem taboo and even embarrassing, nowadays pretty much everyone uses online dating as a way to find potential matches. Moreover, singles now approach the dating world with a more modernized mindset.

Matchmaking services simply aren’t conducive to modern dating rules and the way that busy San Francisco singles approach the romantic landscape.

Reason #6: Check Reviews

One serious piece of advice I’ll give you when it comes to hiring a San Francisco matchmaker is this: Check the reviews. You really want to do your research before you hand over a $100,000 check.

Furthermore, don’t simply rely on Yelp reviews. Often times, matchmakers will enlist friends and family members to post fake reviews in hopes of drumming up business.

An extreme example of a bad review comes in the form of a now-infamous lawsuit against a local San Francisco matchmaking company. During her time as a client, single Darlene Daggett went on a string of bad dates via the matchmaking company that included:

  • A man who was still married and waiting for his “terminally ill wife” to die so that he could start a new relationship
  • A compulsive liar
  • A “disgraced New York judge” who had engaged in a tawdry tryst with a lawyer
  • One suitor who stalked Daggett

This is an extreme example of matchmakers failing to develop a sophisticated screening process. Often times, matchmakers simply rely on what they’re being told by a client and simply set up the date. There is no coaching or follow-up to see how things have gone or to delve deeper into any potential psychological risks.

When you really do your research, you’ll notice that several reviews are littered with tales of “sketchy dates” where clients were matches with people who were not only incompatible but borderline dangerous.

Reason #7: They Might Ghost You During Your Search

It’s bad enough that getting “ghosted” has become a part of modern dating vernacular. But it’s even worse when you have to pay for it.



I’ve heard many stories about people getting ghosted by their matchmaker during their search. Once the matchmaker sets you up, they may feel that their job is done (especially after the check has been cashed) and leave you hanging when things go awry with your so-called “matches.”

When you hire a dating coach, it’s that coach’s job to keep up with you on a regular basis. A good dating coach wants to help you develop confidence and utilize expert techniques so that you can find the right match on your own rather than be set up with random strangers.

Reason #8: They Have Limited Reach

Despite the booming single scene in San Francisco, almost all San Francisco matchmakers have a limited reach. This is particularly true when it comes to finding high-quality, single women in your area.

Women are more concerned about things like privacy and safety when it comes to dating. The idea of handing over a check to a stranger and trust that person to keep their safety in mind when setting them up with another stranger seems risky. Women want to be able to gather more information about a guy before agreeing to go out with him out of fear that the guy could be a creep or even dangerous.

True Story

I’ve talked to several women who have been afraid to sign up for a matchmaker, even when they had the financial resources to do so. This is often because they are afraid of ending up like the woman from my previous story who ended up suing a matchmaking company after a string of bad dates.

One woman I know also told me that she didn’t want to hire a matchmaker because she felt like she “would be paying for a husband” and the whole prospect just sketched her out.

However, this same woman didn’t have many issues with using dating apps. This is because dating apps allowed her to gather more information about the guy and she did it on her own terms. She liked being in complete control of who she chose to go out with and who she chose to reject. Moreover, many dating apps and websites are completely free or offer low-cost membership plans.

Speaking of online dating…

Reason #9: Matchmakers Can’t Compete with Online Dating

Why hire a matchmaker when you can download an app or join a dating website?

Trust me, this question is going to be on the minds of droves of high-quality, single women when it comes to deciding between a matchmaker and an app. Matchmaking programs are seen as archaic nowadays because of how online dating has taken over the romantic landscape.

Moreover, you’re going to miss out on tons of singles in your area who are using online dating as their primary means of finding matches when you choose a San Francisco matchmaker.

Reason #10: Matchmakers Don’t Allow You to Practice Your Dating Approach

As I’ve mentioned before, matchmaking involves a lot of waiting around for your matchmaker to set you up on a date. Sometimes those dates can be few and far between. And when you actually do go on dates, you’re not equipped with expert strategies from your matchmaker.



With a dating coach, you have someone who is continually advocating for your success. A good dating coach is one who will be by your side throughout each step of your dating journey to ensure that you are experiencing personal growth that ensures you find your right match.

And if you sign up for a coaching program through EmLovz, you’ll be able to exercise your dating approach consistently through a strategy known as MegaDating.

What is MegaDating?

MegaDating is a dating process that involves dating several people at the same time in order to diffuse energy by keeping your social calendar full. When you MegaDate, you avoid settling for the mediocre or chasing after the “one” because this strategy shows you firsthand that there are plenty of fish in the sea.

This is the main strategy I used during my 100-date experiment. I didn’t use any type of matchmaking service during this experiment. However, I took advantage of several other modes in order to rack up tons of dates so that I found myself meeting a variety of new and interesting men each week. These modes included things like:

  • Online dating
  • Friends of friends
  • Social gatherings and events
  • Activities with people who shared my interests. Tons of opportunities to connect with people who share your interests are available through friends and websites like Meetup.com, Facebook and/or Eventbrite. A simple Google search

Rather than spend a boatload on a matchmaker, I found a long-term, compatible partner by repeatedly putting myself out there through MegaDating. Since my experiment, I’ve helped throngs of singles find lasting love and improve their self-esteem, all at an affordable price. I’d like to do the same for you.

Ready to get started?

Find the Right Match at an Affordable Price

I have a passion for helping people improve their confidence, overcome issues like anxiety, and crush their personal goals in order to find love. That’s why I embarked on a career as a dating coach following my 100-date experiment.

I believe that everyone deserves love and absolutely anyone can find it. And guess what? You don’t need to spend $150,000 to enjoy a satisfying, long-term relationship. And you don’t even have to spend anywhere close to $5,000.

If you’re ready to overcome your dating obstacles, head over to my calendar and book a 1-on-1 new client Skype session with me today! During this intro session, we’ll diagnose your dating history, uncover any roadblacks that could be holding you back, create an action plan, and discuss my Signature coaching program.