Single men have a habit of being distracted by shiny objects.
They see something young and curvy and immediately begin fumbling their words and superswiping.
But what catches the eye doesn’t necessarily catch the heart. Chances are you aren’t most compatible with the women you see on Tinder’s Top Picks.
We all enjoy a dalliance here and there but ultimately we want someone we can settle down with until death do us part.
But how do you know who this person is?
If you’ve never taken the time to introspect and identify your personal core values (and in effect your ideal partner) you’ll continue to get distracted by shiny objects.
But just what are core values and how do you identify them?
Even more so how do you use them to find a super compatible woman?
Let’s answer a few of those questions.
Identifying Personal Core Values
To get you thinking let’s first list out core values.
When you see a core value that resonates with you, write it down. The value doesn’t need to be super high on your list, but if you think it important, simply write it down.
Authenticity
Achievement
Adventure
Autonomy
Beauty
Boldness
Compassion
Challenge
Community
Competency
Creativity
Curiosity
Determination
Fairness
Fame
Fun
Growth
Happiness
Honesty
Humor
Influence
Inner Harmony
Justice
Kindness
Knowledge
Leadership
Learning
Love
Loyalty
Meaningful Work
Openness
Optimism
Peace
Pleasure
Poise
Popularity
Recognition
Religion
Respect
Responsibility
Self-Respect
Service
Spirituality
Stability
Success
Status
Trustworthiness
Wealth
Wisdom
The list is provided to get you thinking about what you value most. Of course, if another value comes to mind add it to your list. Remember any value that you consider significant should be added to your final list.
Categorize Values
These values can seem a bit all over the place. Wisdom may seem like a far cry from status.
The next step is to group these words together. Start creating groups of words that you consider to be similar.
For example…
Group 1:
Peace
Love
Happiness
Group 2:
Humor
Kindness
Honesty
The purpose of categorizing them is so that you can begin to think more clearly about the values you consider to be the most important. Going through these values one by one allows you to really think about what’s most important to you.
That One Word That Stands Out
Perhaps these categories are still too stretched and abstract to be used to help you find your ideal partner.
Further, refine their meaning by assigning a single word for each category.
This one word will be used to define an entire category and will likely be the one word you use to help filter through prospective partners. Is she empathetic? If not swipe to the left.
Dedicate These Words To Memory Or Hang Them Up
Tape this list to your fridge, put it in your backpack, or create a note and stuff these words into your phone. Whatever you do, remember to let these words guide you when making your romantic decisions.
Without a concrete understanding of what you’re looking for you’ll end up being whisked away by the first woman that looks your way. When swiping, flirting at a party, or just getting to know someone, keep these personal core values front and center.
Reflect On Your List
It’s fine if you don’t commit these words to heart. What matters most is that the act of creating this list means you’ve invested time to think about what you want most in a partner.
We could all do with a bit more introspection in our lives.
Imagine how these words make you feel and why they’re important to you.
Then ask if you want to share these same values with your partner. Why would someone with conflicting values not be a great partner?
The Importance Of Sharing Personal Core Values
Studies after study show that opposites don’t attract. Magnets be damned we can’t sustain that initial attraction to our opposite forever. Sure they’re great for short-term flings, but in the end, you two are too incompatible to endure.
Let your values be your romantic lodestar. Allow them to guide you and filter out women that don’t share these values. Investing heavily in someone that is your opposite will most likely be a waste of time. If your goal is to find a long-term partner, look for someone whose values align with your own.
Of course, you can’t immediately figure this out by looking at her Bumble profile or even by going on a single date.
However, you can expedite the process by asking her the right questions.
Questions such as…
What does your ideal partner look like – personality and physically?
Which shared activity would you love to do with a partner?
What are some core values you look for in a partner?
Which is more important, status or empathy?
Dive in.
When on a date, feel free to ask probing questions and understand from the jump what she’s into.
Why waste time in a relationship that isn’t going to work out?
When you’re MegaDating you’re dating new women every week. You don’t have time to waste with incompatible women.
Leverage Personal Core Values To Find Women Online
So how do you attract women with similar core values online?
It all comes down to what you put in your profile.
List or spell out what you’re looking for in detail. You can either do this in your written bio or via prompts.
Whatever the case may be let her know what you’re looking for.
If you don’t want to write a list of core values on your profile be a bit more descriptive.
Instead of listing, peace, write…
I just want someone to mediate with on a mountaintop.
Instead of writing a challenge write…
Always up to try something new in my personal and professional life.
I prefer being descriptive over vomiting a list (although that can be effective in some cases).
Doing so is easier on the eye, more appealing, and will set you apart from lazy guys that can’t be bothered to write more than two words in their profile.
Leverage Personal Core Values To Find Women IRL
Sure meeting people online is the most popular way to meet your new partner nowadays, but it’s not the only way.
Let’s not forget that women still love being approached. I can’t tell you how refreshing it is for women to be approached IRL. So many men only rely on dating apps to meet women nowadays.
Women still love being pursued IRL. It’s super flattering when a guy approaches a woman and makes their intentions known.
But you don’t just want to meet any woman do you? You want to meet highly compatible women.
So take that list you just made out.
Which values stand out the most?
If you’re looking for a kind, empathetic person of faith, it’s pretty clear you should invest more time in volunteer or church groups. If you want someone spiritual, open-minded, and free-thinking maybe go to yoga, meditation, or reiki classes. And if you want a professional-minded woman who is always looking to grow, find a Meetup targeting professional women and attend networking events.
Wrapping Up Core Values
Core values are what we hold dearest. They define who we are and what we value most in this world.
Wouldn’t it be amazing to find someone who truly reflects what matters most to you?
Our program, Dating Decoded, is designed to help you find exactly that—a deeply compatible partner.
We do this through our MegaDating philosophy.
MegaDating means dating multiple women at once to efficiently find your most compatible match.
Here’s why it works:
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Sharpens your understanding of your ideal partner
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Builds confidence and real-world dating skills
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Prevents you from settling out of scarcity
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Puts you in front of more compatible women, faster
But finding these women isn’t always easy—that’s where we come in.
We’ll help you meet high-quality women both IRL and online. A big part of the program is figuring out your ideal match and giving you the tools and support to meet her.
You’ll learn how to:
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Craft a standout dating profile
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Start engaging conversations
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Set up dates with a TDL (Time, Date, Location)
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Plan and execute meaningful first, second, and third dates
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Meet compatible women offline—so you’re not relying solely on the apps
You’ll master all of this through:
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Our online curriculum packed with in-depth dating strategy
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Mock dates with live feedback
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A private online community of men on the same journey
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Two weekly live coaching calls to go deep on your progress
And you won’t be doing it alone.
Meet Your Expert Coaching Team
Each member of our team brings a unique skillset to help you succeed in love and relationships:
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Emyli – Co-founder of emlovz and America’s Dating Coach. Helps you refine your strategy, mindset, and approach based on years of data and coaching thousands of men.
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Thomas – Co-founder and head coach. Brings a male perspective to help you understand what women want while providing no-BS accountability and direction.
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Lora, Brooke, Audrey, and Mattie Jo – Mock date specialists. Helps sharpen your conversation, flirting, and storytelling so women say yes to your next date (virtual on in-person).
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Hailey – Celebrity stylist. Teaches you how to dress to attract and helps you build a wardrobe that boosts confidence and appeal.
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Renee – Anxiety coach. Works with you to overcome social anxiety, build inner confidence, and show up fully on dates.
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Tilly and Caitlin – Intimacy trainers. Help you build emotional and physical intimacy from the first kiss to long-term connection.
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Mia – Social media expert. Helps you optimize your online presence and dating profiles across platforms.
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Darshil – Confidence coach. Past client, now coach.
It all begins with a 1-on-1 Zoom call.
On the call, we’ll get to know your dating history, your romantic goals, and determine whether Dating Decoded is the right fit to help you reach them.
Book your intro call now and let’s get to work.