Ending Toxic Relationships with Women & Avoiding Them Altogether

You know you’re in an unhealthy relationship when your friends sing Britney Spear’s Toxic.

If the sub-par falsetto isn’t enough of a sign the backhanded compliments, gaslighting, and rude behavior should be.

Whatever the case may be, you’re in a toxic relationship and want out.

But leaving a toxic partner isn’t necessarily as simple as texting them that things are over.

Terminating an unhealthy relationship may pose serious issues, as the specter of violence both physical and mental complicate matters.

Ending Toxic Relationships

Ending toxic relationships with women requires planning and tact.

To walk away from an unhealthy relationship in the healthiest way possible, let’s walk down possible exit plans.

Identify Red Flags

How do you even know you’re in a toxic relationship?

The first step towards liberation is recognizing that you’re in a mentally damaging relationship.

Here are some telltale signs of a toxic relationship:

Constant correcting even when corrections are minor
Sexual manipulation
Poor communication (conversations are full of sarcasm, biting remarks, insults)
Controlling behavior
Makes you feel guilty, necessarily places blame
Belittles you in front of others
Constant lying
Never listens or shows signs of empathy

If a partner displays just one of these signs, be wary of continuing a relationship with them.

It can be incredibly difficult to identify the signs.

Here are three tips to help you see the signs:

1) Ask a friend to help you discern unhealthy behavior.

2) Jot down how you felt and how they behaved after a recent interaction.

3) Date around. Dating around will help put their treatment of you into perspective by comparing how others treat you compared to how they treat you.

We often feel as though we’re deserving of negative treatment. That we did something to deserve this horrid treatment.

That isn’t true.

The sooner you recognize abnormal treatment the quicker you’ll be able to press the abort button and head for greener pastures.

Get Financially Sorted

Prepare for the worst.

If she’s toxic, she’ll likely fight to the death in regard to financial matters.

She’ll want you to pay the rent, try to take money from joint bank account, and maybe even steal your physical belongings.

Make sure your money is secure and that she doesn’t have access to any accounts she shouldn’t have access to.

Even go so far as to change passwords to shared streaming services if you think that might compromise your financial wellbeing.

When you are ready to end this toxic relationship for good, make sure that you have an apartment or home already lined up. If she’s living in your home, make sure you’ve spoken to the right authorities, are ready to change locks, and do what needs to be done to ensure she not only leaves but can’t come back to your home.

Test The Waters

You never know how your partner or the woman you’re dating will respond when you end things.

This is especially the case if they’re a mercurial and emotionally unstable person.

It’s for this reason I propose a test.

Tell them you need a couple of days alone to sort things out. Tell them you’ve been having a stressful time at work and with friends and that you just need to be alone from the world.

See how they react to this.

If they accept this no questions asked, it may be easier than you expected to end things.

If they become hostile, then expect and plan for the worst when you stop seeing them.

Tell Them How You Feel (Before A Breakup)

She’ll be taken completely off guard if you don’t tell her how you feel prior to a breakup.

There might be a chance she’s unaware of how her actions make you feel. Give her the benefit of the doubt and assume (during the early stages of abuse) that there’s a chance she doesn’t know how toxic her treatment is.

The only way she’ll know is if you vocalize your discomfort.

But use tact when doing so.

Clinical psychologist and author Doctor Carla Marie Manly advises addressing issues as they arise with brief and direct comments, “I feel hurt when you swear at me. I’m leaving the party now and hope that next time you will talk kindly to me.”

Also, try to keep the spotlight on your feelings.

Use “I” as opposed to “you” statements.

Calling out their behavior may lead to change.

But if it doesn’t it’ll at least plant the seed in their minds that their actions are the reason for the relationship ending. Informing them of how they make you feel throughout the relationship should mitigate any crazy in the way they respond to a breakup.

Write A Script

This is a big help when ending toxic relationships with women who just aren’t right for you any longer.

When the time comes you don’t want to improvise.

One wrong word can set them off.

Know exactly when, where, how, and what you’re going to say.

If you’re going to break up with her do so in a semi-public or private place. Only break up in private if you can easily flee the scene afterward. You may want to break up in a semi-public place if you think she’ll make a scene.

When it comes to what to say, prepare your little speech before you get there.

Practice what you’ll say and make it as short and sweet as possible.

However, be sure to make one thing clear — this is it.

It’s over.

Finnito.

The relationship is dead. You shot it behind the barn. No amount of therapy, compliments, or apologies could make things better. You two are never ever ever getting back together.

Break Up From Afar

How you break up with someone (ghost, text, phone call, in-person, etc.) depends on how long you went out with them as well as the dynamic.

Hell, even ghosting is okay if you’ve only gone on one or two dates.

Under normal circumstances, this is how you should break up according to how long you went out with her:

1-2 Dates – Ghost (or better, don’t reach until she does, and then respond)

3-6 Dates – Text

7-10 Dates – Call/In-Person

11+ Dates – In-Person

But these are under normal conditions.

If the person’s toxic, that changes everything.

In this case I’d recommend creating as much distance as possible. If you’ve been dating for months or even years, the safest thing for you to do is end things via phone.

Calling her and having a conversation at a distance will mitigate the chances she’ll want to follow up and harass you with texts at all hours in her attempt to get answers and seek finality.

Block Her

After your phone call it’ll be tempting to immediately block them on all your social media channels.

I’d wait a few days to do so.

Having her find out you’ve blocked her right after breaking up can compound her feelings and lead her to lash out. Wait a few days until the dust settles to do so.

I also advise informing her that you’ll be blocking her on SM. Tell her you think it’s best for the both of you if you severe all forms of contact, including SM.

This way she won’t feel ambushed.

Fu*k Her

At the end of the day, it’s all about your safety and how you feel.

You’re not taking the aforementioned precautions because you feel about her feelings. Rather, you’re taking them because you don’t want a toxic person becoming your worst enemy and turning into a stalker.

You should have stopped caring about her feelings the moment she started acting toxic towards you.

All this planning and tact is done so that you can make a clean exit.

Ready Yourself For The Backlash

She may not go quietly into the night.

She might just bombard you with messages, talk shit about you with your friends or worse.

Prepare for the worst.

This means:

Finding living arrangements
Informing friends and families of what’s happening so they provide support
Spending time with friends to take your mind off what’s happening
Shore up financial and sensitive information
Be ready to contact the authorities if necessary

Prepare for the worst.

How To Avoid Toxic Women

Avoid having to end toxic relationships by never entering them in the first place.

The easiest — and most enjoyable — way to do so is via MegaDating.

For those that didn’t watch the video above, MegaDating is all about dating various women in quick succession.

That means dating Sharon on Tuesday, Beth on Thursday, and Sarah on Sunday.

Dating women simultaneously is like taking a car for a test drive before you buy it — because a monogamous relationship is a major commitment.

Before dating one person exclusively you want to know how they compare to others.

The only way to find out is to date around.

Doing so will also help you avoid toxic women. It’s a lot easier to see red flags when you have healthy and unhealthy interactions one right after the other.

MegaDating is a slower version of speed dating.

It exposes you to a range of people and personalities in a short period of time.

Take Notes

After every date, run home and take notes. Literally, bust out a pad and pen or an Excel spreadsheet and write down your thoughts on the date.

Take notes on how they interacted with you, what you liked, didn’t like, the weird things they said, and other nuances that differentiate them from others.

Compare these notes after every date.

Doing so will help you identify red flags as well as patterns of attraction. It can also help realign your attraction barometer.