Bad Dating Profiles: How to Look Like a Killer on a Dating App
Do you have the Midas Touch when it comes to dating apps?
Many men would be jealous of your predicament.
Every time you swipe right you score a match, it might not sound too bad to them, but you know better.
The tables have turned as you’re not being bombarded with wanton messages from hundreds of females on a daily basis.
If you want the deluge of Super Likes to stop, there’s only one way out.
Become a killer.
Not a literal one of course, and not the kind of romantic killer that goes out and gets digits.
To deter women from swiping on your profile you’ll need to create a bad dating profile that gives off the impression that you’re a killer.
It’s the only way to scare these women away.
Matching with dozens of women a day is what happens when you take our advice.
Regretfully, sometimes our advice works TOO well. Sometimes your phone just won’t stop vibrating with Tinder notifications.
It appears the only way to get rid of your Midas Touch is to once again take our advice and create a dating profile that even Ted Bundy would be jealous of.
Creating Bad Dating Profiles To Free Up Your Time
Wear Sunglasses In Every Photo
The reason you’re getting so many matches is because you’re putting your beautiful and symmetrical face front and center.
Look man, if Adonis is your ancestor it’s best to hide your physical features for fear of making the ladies of the internet swoon at first swipe.
Women will only go out with you if they know what you look like.
Keep them guessing by wearing sunglasses, ski masks, hat, scarves, Nixon masks, or any other article of clothing that obscures your face.
Even Tinder has come out and said that wearing sunglasses decreases your odds of getting a match by 15%.
Don’t know which sunglasses to buy?
How about these?
There’s no better way to say “I’m a guido watch me wanna take a shot of Everclear and then gorge on my ma’s lasagna” than with these.
Show Her Your Guns
Ideally, if you have literal guns to show off, go ahead. Bazookas and automatic rifles are preferable but even a pistol can go a long way in ensuring that you never get a match ever again.
When guns aren’t available, you can always strip down and give her a virtual tour of the gun show.
Show off those pecs, delts, and of course the oft-overlooked thigh muscles.
If you really want to create an awful dating profile to deter women you’ll dye your chest hair Leprechaun green in preparation for St. Patty’s Day.
When in doubt simply snap a shirtless selfie at the beach, gym, or your Mom’s basement. Either way, women are sure to flee.
Yess, give her alllll the chocolate, maybe even throw in some fluffernutter for good measure.
Take Bathroom Selfies
Ideally, you take bathroom pics that show more of your toilet than your face.
Snapping a photo that is more suitable for your toilet’s Tinder account than your own can only work in your favor.
Ideally, you take a photo that only shows half of your face. The more uncertain she is about how you look the more certain it is that she’ll swipe right.
And for those saying correlation doesn’t prove causation, I wholeheartedly believe there is a direct link between how much of the toilet you show in your photo and the likelihood that she’ll swipe right.
In no way, shape, or smile do you want her thinking you’re a nice guy.
Women LOVE nice guys.
So what does this mean for you?
It means the only way you should be showing her your pearly whites is by posing like this…
Take Photos From A Lower Angle
When taking a selfie, hold the phone at around crotch level.
This way when you snap a selfie you capture all of your nose hair. If you don’t see any nose hair in the picture, bring the camera closer to your face.
Avoid Eye Contact
A telltale sign that someone is socially inept is when they’re uncomfortable making eye contact with you.
Imagine being on a date with someone that refuses to look you in your eyes.
Imagine who that person is, their likes, their dislikes, their distractions, their inadequacies, and idiosyncrasies, and become that person.
Frankly, it doesn’t matter what you’re looking at as long as it’s not her.
Black & White Or Sepia Filters
No one uses filters — and that’s your opening.
Set yourself apart from all the normal and attractive people on dating apps by constructing a bad dating profile that is beyond compare.
Use a black and white filter if you’re trying to conjure the image of a classical serial killer, think Jack The Ripper.
DON’T POSE WITH DOGS!
A dog is a man’s best friend, the problem is, women like them too!
Don’t believe me?
Webbox a UK dog-food company carried out an experiment attempting to find out how much of a boost including a dog pic would give your dating app.
They found that men saw a 38% increase in matches when they included a picture with their doggy wingman in their roster of photos.
It’s probably because men that have dogs appear safer and more nurturing… the exact message you’re trying to avoid!
Who in the right mind would swipe left to this photo?
Wear Tattered Old Clothes & Smoke A Bowl
This is a powerful combo if you’re looking to lighten your match load.
Nothing says “ick” like a guy wearing tattered clothes he might have found in the street.
Compound your odds of receiving that coveted swipe left by pairing your attire with a few hits of bud.
Then capture this with a bathroom selfie.
You’ll receive bonus points if you wear the same clothes in every photo.
This is a solid way to demonstrate that you have zero photography skills and are probably a narcissist.
Nothing Says Bye-Bye Like A Sketchy Background
Find a super scary alleyway or creepy background that makes her think that might be where you hid the bodies and take a photo of yourself.
Backgrounds of white nationalist flags, poop emojis, or Bill Cosby will also do the trick.
No Group Shots
You wouldn’t want her thinking you’re a functioning member of society, would you?
Group shots show her that people like to be around you.
Think man, if people want to be around you, she might think that she too could one day build up the rapport to want to be around you too.
Group pics are a dangerous game.
It’s better to include none.
However, inundating your profile with group shots will have the same effect. Make sure there are so many people in your group shots that she has absolutely no idea who you are.
Use Threatening Body Language
You see this guy?
He’s without a doubt creepy.
He’s got skull rings and face tattoos. When someone asks a woman to think of a sketchy, creepy guy you’d hate to match with on Tinder she thinks of this guy.
Be. This. Creep.
He is your guru, mentor, and probably the person that will kill you.
He’s your hero.
Show Who That You’re A Stock Photo
Guys that get matches do so because they show off their personality and hobbies.
If your goal is to scare away matches you want to portray yourself as the dullest guy in your city.
You’re basically Milton… without the cool stapler.
Wear Dad Shoes
If you don’t have Dad shoes, well borrow your Dad’s shoes.
Dad shoes are bulky, white, and don’t go with anything.
Now it’s time to turn your profile upside down.
Think of everything I’ve ever told you about how to create an awesome dating profile and forget about it.
That’s right, do the opposite.
Because your phone vibrates so much you run out of battery even before lunch.
Your photos are getting you too many matches, so now it’s time to make a change.
If you’re still struggling to grapple with your newfound sexy appeal, book a 1-on-1 call with emlovz today.
We got you into this mess and it’s our duty to make things right.
We know what it takes to turn a single man into the prize all women desire, however, we also know what turns women off.
Talk with us and we’ll tell you everything you need to do to ensure that no one ever again intentionally swipes right on your profile.
Go get em’ creep.