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8 Tips for Coping with Divorce for Men

8 Tips for Coping with Divorce for Men

8 Tips for Coping with Divorce for Men

Looking for strategies on coping with divorce for men?

You’ve come to the right place. In this article, we’ll discuss 8 tips for coping with divorce for men, so you can get back to your old self fast!

How You Might Be Feeling About Your Divorce

Everyone mourns the fallen tree.



The monolith that’s been there for generations watching over the forest as a self-appointed sentry.

Whenever one of these ageless wonders falls, the entire forest feels the consequences.

Yet while we may mourn its loss, we fail to appreciate the new life this fallen tree heralds.

After soaking up resources for years upon years not allowing anything else to grow, the tree has fallen and presented an opportunity for something else to grow in its place.

It’s this second chance at growth that you’re now presented with.

A divorce need not be the life-ending event we all make it out to be.

But in order to sow and cultivate a new future, you must first learn to cope with divorce.

Coping with divorce is different for everyone. Yet no matter how you cope, the goal is always the same; to get your life back together.

Steps For Coping With Divorce

Before you can allow something to take advantage of all the resources that fallen tree has freed up you must first prepare the soil.

To do so, follow these tips for coping with divorce.

Keep in mind that not every tactic will work for you.



Only choose the actions that are right for you as you make the pivot to life after your former spouse.

Your Kids Are Also Coping With Divorce – Make Sure They Are In The Right Mental Space

If you have children with your ex, this will likely be the issue causing the most pain.

Make sure you and your partner put away your differences and focus on what’s best for the children.

Once you know your children’s well-being is being taken care of you’ll be in a much better space to take care of your own wellbeing. Address this as soon as possible so you’re not up late wondering how your children are coping. Use a professional to help your children through the process and/or a mediator to help you and your ex-wife create a co-parenting strategy that both parties are happy with.

Speak To Yourself As You Would Your Child

It’s easy to pile on the self-hate after a divorce.

It feels like a personal apocalypse is taking place while everyone else’s lives are just dandy.

You probably have the urge to be Superman and quickly find solutions to every new problem. When you inevitably can’t turn your life around in a matter of days you begin to self-criticize.

Be kind to yourself.

It’s a tough situation that no human could handle perfectly.

When you’re spewing vitriol in the mirror, ask yourself, would you say the same things you say to yourself to your children?

If not, tell your negative self to shut the hell up.

I know it’s tough, but be positive.



This too shall pass.

Here’s how to make it pass faster.

Coping With Divorce for Men: Task-Oriented Coping Versus Emotion-Oriented Coping

Men cope better with trauma when they use task-oriented coping rather than emotion-oriented coping.

What this means is that you’ll benefit more from having tasks to complete that lead you toward a specific goal, rather than talking about your emotions and then trying to make them more positive.

 

While therapy is a great resource for coping with divorce, it would also be particularly effective to have an action-oriented strategy to focus on so you don’t have to dwell on your sadness.

This is where coaching can really help.

If you’ve consciously grieved your divorce and are ready to date, then hiring a coach who can give you actionable tasks to accomplish to reach your goals of meeting new women, can help.

In my program, I teach my clients to get in front of 10 new women each day, whether that’s on dating apps, social media, or in-person.

Then I give them a step-by-step formula for messaging in a way that gets women to respond and say yes to your date requests. Using my philosophy of dating, otherwise known as MegaDating, which is the process of dating multiple women at the same time to diffuse energy and increase confidence, my clients who are coping with divorce are able to proactively take steps forward so they’re not stuck sitting on the couch feeling crummy about themselves and their lives.

Instead, my clients are off dating and having new experiences and adventures that improve wellbeing and help them to cope with their divorce in a healthy, rewarding way.



It is of course mandatory that they grieve their divorce first, before hitting the scene.

Coping With Divorce for Men: Grieve Consciously

Give yourself a set period of time to be sad.

Take a trip Forgetting Sarah Marshall style, get out of your everyday environment and do something for you.

Your life was just uprooted. You’re no longer tethered to the same routine you once were. Instead of settling into a depressing routine, do something that makes you happy with your newfound time.

During this epoch, focus all of your intention on yourself.

If you can take time off work, that’s recommended. Allow yourself time and space to be sad, to cry, to scream, to do whatever you need to get those painful feelings out of your body.

Allow yourself a specified amount of time to constructively grieve, however, give yourself a limit. Aim to get back to your optimal self by a certain period of time.

Coping With Divorce for Men: Change Up Your Appearance

When it comes to coping with divorce, science is your best friend.

So what does science have to say about getting over a divorce?

Among other things it encourages you to get a haircut.

Whether it’s cutting your hair, buying a new jacket, or building muscle, all of these appearance-changing actions mark the moment of change.

Instead of change overwhelming you and forcing you downstream, you decide to take charge of your new path.



The simple act of cutting one’s hair is both empowering and underrated.

You decide who you see when you look in the mirror.

The scruffy guy with hair as long as Gandalf’s may not see himself in the best light.

Cutting your hair is akin to slowly chiseling away at a block of granite. Chop by chop you are crafting your new life with intention.

Getting a haircut is just one small part of taking back your life.

Coping With Divorce for Men: Make A Move

Does your home, neighborhood, or city hold too many negative associations?

Making a move is the closest we’ll get to hitting the restart button.

When you make that move (even if it’s just to a new apartment) you give your brain the ability to build new habits and associations.

 

For the most part, your brain runs on autopilot. Once you have cues in place, your brain is going to follow a routine without thought.

But when you move, these cues go away and you have the opportunity to start from scratch again.

You don’t need to move to an entirely new city to feel these effects. Simply moving to a new apartment or changing the layout of your home can impact your life for the better.

Coping With Divorce for Men: Hire A Coach

When it comes to starting over again, don’t go it alone.



When starting over again, why not enlist the help of someone that’s mastered the romantic scene?

A coach can help you navigate the dating apps and in-person dynamic so when you’re ready to put yourself out there, you’ve got all the tools in the tool belt to succeed.

The last thing you want to do is to jump into dating too soon, without a strategy.

Look, you just got rocked in your divorce, why not guarantee yourself a smooth transition with a coach and a supportive community of peers who are all going through the same things you are?

In my program, men receive:

  • Weekly live coaching calls with me
  • A community of supportive single men who are all dating and helping each other fill up their dating funnels with lots of high-quality women
  • An extensive online curriculum
  • Optional mock dates to get feedback from real women on their flirting and communication skills.

Our supportive community and comprehensive curriculum will provide you with the skills you need to find a long-lasting and fulfilling romance.

Best of all, you get lifetime support so you never have to go it alone or wonder whose advice to listen to.

I know friends like to give advice but often it’s conflicting, confusing, or in-actionable.

Talk To A Therapist

When in doubt, talk it out.

A therapist can help to address unresolved childhood issues that may have led to the dissolution of your marriage.

Therapists are different than coaches in that they work backwards to help resolve present-day challenges.

Coaches set goals in the future and then reverse engineer the steps it will take to achieve those future goals.



Having the support of both a coach and therapist can help you cope with divorce more rapidly as you’re able to dig into both past, present, and future roadblocks that are limiting your potential.

Therapists tend to offer more emotion-oriented coping strategies, which can be helpful when paired with the task-oriented coping strategies set out for you with a coach like me.

It can be helpful to get in tune with your emotions so that you can recognize your triggers and create an action plan to deal with them in a healthier manner.

Coping With Divorce for Men: Moving On

You may never forget your divorce, your ex-partner, or the many ties to your past life.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t move forward.

Moving in the right direction is all about opening yourself up to new romantic possibilities. It means not allowing baggage to hold you down or get in the way of having an awesome romantic future.

To learn how my coaching program can help you be the best version of yourself and find compatible women, talk to one of our coaches via a 1-on-1 online session.

During your new client introduction session, you’ll provide a snapshot of your dating history and see whether dating coaching might be an effective mechanism to refine your dating ability and attract higher-quality women.

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