We love throwing around the word narcissist.

After posting stories all day, we tell our friends that they’re narcissists or say movie stars are narcissists when they refuse to sign autographs and mingle with us plebians.

But what actually is a narcissist?

And more importantly, how do we spot them and avoid them at all costs?

Dating a narcissist woman is something you want to avoid even more than eating ribs on a first date. Going out with a narcissist will never last, damage your self-esteem, and all in all, is a massive waste of time.

That’s why we’re going to train you to identify the telltale signs of narcissism.

But first, let’s dive into what exactly a narcissist is.

What Is Narcissism

More than just a word we throw at people who behave vainly, narcissism is a medically recognized personality disorder.

In short, it’s a mental health condition characterized by having an elevated sense of self-importance. But if it’s just an inflated ego, everyone has that right?

According to the Cleveland Clinic, 5% of Americans have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

Narcissism is more than just an inflated ego.

While narcissism is measured on a spectrum, the narcissists you’ll want to avoid behave in the following ways:

• Highly insecure
• Never accept blame
• Belittle others
• Must be the center of attention
• Incapable of empathy
• Entitled
• Embellishes truth to make one seem more grandiose (e.g. George Santos)

To get a better idea of how a narcissist behaves here’s a brief list of some famous narcissists:

• Donald Trump
• Jenny McCarthy
• Madonna
• Suzanne Somers
• Kanye West
• Mark Zuckerberg
• Jim Jones

At the heart of narcissism is apathy and an inability to connect with others.

This fundamental human trait is why it’s so damaging to date a narcissist woman. We all want a partner that understands, empathizes, and genuinely cares about us. While not all narcissists are the same, they all struggle to care for others. Instead, they yearn for the spotlight and will do whatever they have to to keep it on themselves.

Now that we know what a narcissist is, let’s help you quickly identify when you’re dating a narcissist.

Telltale Signs of Narcissism

How do you know you’re dating a narcissist?

It’s actually fairly difficult to tell. Narcissists can easily fly under the radar because so many of their traits are similar to those of normal people. In fact, many people may at times behave like a narcissist without in fact being one.

The difference between pretenders and the real deal mostly comes down to consistency.

If you see the following behavior popping up over and over you can safely assume you’re catching feels for someone not worth investing in.

Self Aggrandizing

Think of the last time you had a friend or partner retell a story that the two of you are characters in. Maybe you two went on vacation together to the Alps or maybe you just went to check out this new brewery.

When your friend or partner is telling the story they decide to add fictitious details to spice up the story.

They embellish to make the story more than it was.

They’ll say the beer was the best they’ve ever had and that the servers were gorgeous and that the sun came out just for you two, etc.

Now, maybe in their view of things this really happened — but you were there. The beer was meh, the servers were meh, and the weather was crap.

They embellished to make their life appear better than it really is.

People with NPD have this compulsion to constantly put themselves in the best light possible. Hyperbole and boasts are the tools they use to do so.

But hey, we all do this to a degree. If your date does this along with a few other behaviors, then you might have a full-blown narcy on your hands.

Takes Advantage Of Others

Remember that narcissists struggle to empathize with others. The world revolves around them. No one else really matters. They’re just pawns to be used to achieve whatever goal the narcissist has in mind.

So it’s no surprise when they start taking advantage of you.

Maybe they refuse to pay for anything, are always late, ask you for favors, and could care less about your well-being.

They will manipulate and gaslight until they have what they want.

Of course, remember that NPD is a spectrum. Just because your partner isn’t a flaming asshole doesn’t mean they’re not a narcissist.

Perhaps what’s even more important than identifying signs of narcissism is identifying how you feel when you’re around this person. If you feel manipulated go with those feelings. Don’t make excuses or say they had a bad day.

Listen to your feelings.

Is this woman treating you like a dick?

If the answer is yes, forget about figuring out of she has a personality disorder — get out of there!

Always Bring The Conversation Back To Them

Have you ever gone out with friends and you’re having a good time, talking in depth about something, then suddenly that one friend blurts out something about their own life.

They break up the rhythm of the conversation and purposefully change the conversation so that her life is the topic of discussion.

Does the woman you’re dating do the same thing?

Does she look bored when you talk, care less to chat about global affairs, and mostly just shares stories about her own life?

Narcissists love doing this.

Which is in part why it’s so surprising that people like them.

That’s the thing about narcissists though, they’re super charismatic. 

Flaming Charisma

People tend to flock to narcissists… at least for a while.

If you look at people like Trump, Kanye, and Mussolini something they all have in common is their ability to attract people to them.

They each have cult followings that would do anything for them.

Part of the reason is that they’re insanely charismatic.

Narcissists are “frequently perceived as charismatic, and these perceptions refer to the fact that narcissists are able to exude self-confidence and share grand visions that are vital to leadership.”

This over-inflated sense of awesomeness means narcissists at least appear to be bursting with confidence. They’re loud, proud, and definitely stand out. We all want to be around someone with confidence, someone that can light up a room. Sometimes we want to be around them so badly we’re willing to overlook the traits that make them a sub-optimal romantic partner.

Regardless of who you’re dating it’s important to take a step back and assess who you’re dating every once in a while. If you feel you’re too close to this person to fairly judge them ask a friend or parent for their opinion of them.

Sometimes we can’t identify narcissistic behavior, but our friends can. 

Constantly Underwhelmed Or Bored

Narcissists assume the world orbits around them.

They’re the center of everything and thus are incredibly self-important. They won’t sit around doing nothing or endure a boring conversation (even if it is in fact riveting). Narcissists get bored easy.

If they’re always bored with the conversation, your date ideas, or your friends, they might be a narcissist. But even if they’re not, they still may not be right for you.

You want to be with someone that digs your conversation, dates, and friends.

If this person doesn’t, move on with MegaDating.

Always Critical

Do you notice that your date is often critical?

That they have nothing but a mouth full of vitriol ready to release at a moment’s notice?

They critique servers, movies, people that threaten their ego, and most importantly they are overly critical of you.

Sitting on a throne of their own invention they think their critiques are reasonable. They believe they deserve the best. But of course, their opinion of the world and those around them is unjustly harsh. Get away from people that are full of critique but offer nothing nice to say of anyone else, especially when that anyone else is you.

Any relationship worth staying in is based on respect. If your relationship lacks respect it lacks the legs for longevity.

They’ll Try To Win You Back

Narcissists are deities that need to be worshipped — at least that’s what they think.

Sure they want everyone to love them and when they don’t, they lash out.

This is true for their friends, your friends, but most importantly for you.

Let’s say you finally decide to ditch the relationship. You realize it’s toxic and want out. You tell your partner as much and they are taken aback and lash out. They may call you names, demean you, say you’re not worth their time and vow that you’ll regret it.

A few weeks or months later and you’re prospering. In the wake of a severed relationship, you’re able to spend more time with friends and are pursuing people that you’re more suited with.

Meanwhile, they’re struggling.

They’re not able to quickly fill the worship void you’ve left and as a consequence are now reaching out to you.

They slide into your DMs, text you, and do whatever it takes to get your attention.

Your ex can’t stand that you no longer have feelings for them. A telltale sign of narcissism is someone that demands affection. Getting snubbed stains their ego. So they reach out and try to rekindle things.

They’ll tell you they’ve changed and may seem like they really have if you give them a shot. But once they feel they’ve won you over again things will go back to how they were prior to the breakup.

Don’t Care About The Feelings Of Others

They say and do whatever they want.

They are kings and queens and we’re just lowly serfs.

These people genuinely lack empathy for others.

They’re incapable of deeply feeling for others. Incapable of putting themselves in the shoes of others and empathizing with another human being.

This person will never be able to connect with you on a deep level. Never be able to listen to what you’re saying and really give a damn. There’s this emotional way they’re incapable of breaking through. You may want to help, but your energy is best served by investing in someone else.

Obsessed With Status

They have to drive fancy cars, dress like they’re always on their way to a gala, eat at the best restaurants, and of course always have the newest iPhone the day it comes out.

These people want success, power, and all the status symbols that show they have it.

Whether they’re successful or not they will project such an image.

They’ll have the finest material possessions even when their credit card can’t keep up with these desires.

This obsession is all part of how they see themselves — as better (a lot better) than everyone else.

Identify With MegaDating

Identifying the telltale signs of narcissism ain’t always easy.

Very often it’s a struggle. This is because so many of us are egocentric without crossing into the narcissistic territory.

We also often put on blinders when we meet someone we really like.

To quickly identify a narcissist we need to be able to compare and contrast their personalities with other women you have dated.

But how do you do this if you don’t have a large pool of women to compare with?

That’s where MegaDating can help.

MegaDating is when you date multiple women at once.

It’s the best way to quickly meet women and find your forever person.

It’s also the best way to avoid settling for someone you’re not right with. If you realize a woman has one or two of the aforementioned traits you’re likely to ditch her if you have a few dates lined up. But if you’re romantic calendar is barren you’re more likely to give her another shot.

Find those telltale signs of narcissism by dating around.

To learn how to start MegaDating and spotting telltale signs of narcissism first start with our free masterclass.

Next, if you’re hyper focused on figuring this all out and want to join a best-in-class dating coaching program, book a 50 minute 1-on-1 Zoom call with us here at emlovz. 

In our program, Dating Decoded you’ll learn everything you could possibly want to know about finding a long term relationship with a woman you’re super excited about.

If you’d like to learn more about us, why not check out what our students are saying about us.