Yes, money matters to women in dating. 

This desire to seek out a man with money goes back centuries. Ask an evolutionary psychologist why women prefer men with money and they’ll tell you it all comes down to their evolved preference theory.

Women have evolved to favor men with resources due to physical differences -such as the ability to bear children and smaller muscles- women have looked to men to provide financial security. But even this theory has been debated.

The modern human has been around for about 200,000 years. For 190,000 of these years, humans lived in fiercely egalitarian hunter-gatherer societies. In these small tribes everything was shared; food, tools, and even sexual partners.

Though it can be argued that men and women often played similar roles, with both men and women teaming up to hunt down prey.

This led to a popular alternative theory called the social role theory. This theory finds that the current social structure has a greater sway on mate preference than does any evolutionary influence.

It argues that upon the advent of agriculture 10,000 years ago, men were tasked to work the land while women were relegated to domestic duties.

During this epoch, women were stripped of their liberty to fend for themselves and were forced to depend on their male counterparts. 

Whichever theory you believe, what can be agreed on is that women have been trained to favor men with resources over the span of many thousands of years.

But to more intimately understand this dating dynamic and answer the question, does money matter to women while dating, we’ll have to dig a bit deeper into the female psyche.

Does Money Matter to Women While Dating?

1. Yes, Because Women Carry The Children

As mothers, women consider an optimal environment in which to rear a child to be paramount. But raising a child is pricey. It costs an estimated $233,610 to raise a child from birth to the age of 17. 

This estimate doesn’t even take into account the cost of paying for college. After perhaps your house, raising a child will be the priciest expense of your life.

It’s no surprise that women seek a man that can help provide for a child just as many men nowadays expect their wives to contribute to the financial stability of their shared home. 

Arguably the desire to find a partner with deep pockets has waned since the middle of the 20th century. As more women enter the workforce the need to rely on a partner has decreased.

Though there is still a desire if not a need to raise a child with the help of two-income streams rather than just one. Just because women now work as frequently as men doesn’t mean they can easily raise a child as a single mother.

Not to mention that women still get paid substantially less than men for working the same exact job.

But knowing that your Hinge date is seeking a resourceful man doesn’t mean you should flash your money. Paradoxically flashing your wealth might signal financial insecurity rather than financial stability.

Instead of casually bringing up how much money you earn or your sumptuous collection of watches, talk about how passionate you are about your job. This is a classy way of conveying that you have the resources to support a new family.

2. Yes, Money Matters To Women Because We Crave Safety & Security

As we’ve mentioned, the craving for safety and security is programmed into women. For centuries we have been shoved into the kitchens and told not to come out until dinner’s ready.

Whether men like it or not, women have slipped the shackles of domestic duty and are now taking over industries that just 30 years ago were void of the “gentler sex.” But despite our meteoric rise to equality, our brains are still lagging behind a bit. 

If for centuries women have relied on men to bring in resources, that preference won’t change just because the cultural tides have shifted. The brain took centuries of years to generate this preference and will take centuries more to generate a new one. 

The urge to find a man with resources may even be exacerbated by the current economy. As of late, we’ve seen both women and men wait longer to marry and have children.

It isn’t that millennials have all realized that the planet is overpopulated and thus are taking one for the team by not having children. Rather, they feel underprepared by the lack of funds in their bank accounts. Wages have stagnated over the years, housing prices have gone up, student loans have ballooned, and Americans from coast to coast are delaying the purchase of that picket white fence as a result.

When Americans close their eyes and imagine marrying, having kids, and buying a house, they no longer see the American dream, but rather a nightmare that will shackle them with debt for years to come. 

3. And Yes Guys, Women Won’t Sleep With A Man They Have To Pay For

There is one exception. 

If she’s an older woman that’s initiated the relationship with a younger man, she might insist on paying. This far-fetched scenario is literally the only context where it’s acceptable not to pay for your date.

By and large, it’s you who must pay for your nights out, at least during the courting phase of the relationship. This means that at the very least the first three dates must be paid for in full by you. 

But what if she insists on splitting the check? Simply say that you want to pay the check as a way of thanking her for coming out with you (here’s a few more tips on paying for dates etiquette).

She didn’t have to take a risk and go with you, she didn’t have to ditch her friends because she wanted to go out with you, she didn’t have to do any of this. Paying the bill is nothing more than a way to thank for making time for you, there’s nothing more to it. This response will work. If it worked on me it’ll work on her. 

She asks to split the bill because she sees you two as financial equals. That may well be true, but that doesn’t mean she should pay. Not allowing her to pay places you in a position of leverage (over the men who split the bill). Asking to split the check is a subconscious way of testing you. Fail the test and I guarantee that you’ll never see her naked.

4. Yes, There Is An Abundance Of Financially Stable Men To Choose From

As was mentioned before, men and women are waiting longer than ever to settle down.

Studies vary, though most show that the average American is first getting married between the ages of 28-30. Many couples are waiting so long not because Tinder has turned us all into morally bankrupt sex-hungry heathens, but rather we just can’t afford it.

Student loans, stagnant wages, and the rising cost of rent in major cities have led us to wait a bit. In a sense this is good. It gives young couples more time to get their shit together before getting married and purchasing a home.

Though due to biological urges many couples won’t want to wait much longer than their early 30s to begin a family. If you don’t have your finances together by then, you’re going to be left behind. 

Sure many single men may be struggling to pad their bank account, but that doesn’t mean there is a lack of suitors that already have their financial situation figured out. 

5. Very Important: You Don’t Need To Spend A Lot Of Money To Date

Does money matter to women while dating? Yes. So you need to spend a lot of money to date, right? No. Wait, what?

MegaDating is about finding a significant partner as quickly as possible. To do this you can’t be having five-hour-long first dates with every woman you meet. To date efficiently you need to adhere to the MegaDating plan. 

Here’s what the MegaDating blueprint looks like. 

First Date

• Spend no more than $10
• Date should last approximately one hour

Second Date

• Keep things active
• Don’t even spend a nickel

Third Date

• Flex that cash
• Take her out to a nice restaurant close to your house
• Date has no monetary nor time limit

Flashing your money early on may keep a woman around for the wrong reasons. Plus the fact that spending eighty bucks on a stranger just seems weird. You may not even like this person after 10 minutes, why make a commitment to pay for their meal and hang out with them for hours on end? 

Is your date worth spending big on? You won’t know until after the second date. Remember that love isn’t about money. You don’t go on dates to eat nice food or watch your favorite band, you go on dates (at least early on) in order to form a bond with someone.

If you can’t form a bond and enjoy each other’s company over a cup of coffee then you better keep looking. 

Money Isn’t Everything But It Does Solve Problems

Financial conflict is one of the most common problems that lead to divorce. It’s tough to enjoy your partner when you two are working two jobs and barely see each other.

Money can’t be a topic of constant conversation. Space needs to be made for the two of you. Perhaps you two have plenty of money, but how you choose to spend it creates a divide. 

It’s true that money can’t make you happy, however businessman and author Dean Graziosi claims in his book, “Writing a check for a problem in your life makes that problem go away.”

Money can’t make two people fall in love. But it can provide the foundation that love needs in order to germinate and grow. 

Always Be On The Lookout For Gold Diggers

Money matters a hell of a lot more to some women more than to others. There aren’t many gold diggers out there that are on the hunt for a divorce with a 6-figure settlement, but they do exist.

The MegaDating blueprint of not going on pricey dates for your first two encounters should weed out any gold diggers and super high maintenance women. But if it doesn’t, have a conversation regarding splitting bills once you two are going steady.

If she still is apprehensive when it comes to splitting bills, find out why. You may have a gold digger on your hands. 

So Does Money Matter to Women While Dating?

Hell yeah. To some more than others, but financial stability is something all women look for. But just because you have money doesn’t mean you’ll get the girl. Courting a woman is a nuanced slow dance. Flashing a wad of cash will get you some women, but perhaps not the long-term wifey material type. 

To get the girl you need to know how to make her feel comfortable, how to get physical, how to MegaDate, use dating apps, etc. It may sound like a lot, but you don’t need to take on the dating world solo.

Book a 1-on-1 Skype session with me today so that we can create a dating plan that works for you. If we wish to engage in ongoing coaching, via my  3 month Signature Program, I’ll teach you dating skills that you’ll need in order to find a woman of value in today’s dating landscape.