We tend to be melodramatic when it comes to attraction. 

Hyperboles and lurid language color how we talk about romance. We claim that it was love at first sight and that when asked how we knew he or she was the one, we respond with, we just knew. 

But this kind of intuition isn’t commonplace. Lofty expectations set by friends and media have confused us. If we don’t think about our romantic interest every moment of every day, we question the strength of attraction. It’s time we cut through these folk sentiments in order to figure out how to know if you like someone enough to keep pursuing a relationship.

Let’s outline the signs of attraction that will serve as your roadmap of attraction. The more signs you see, the more attracted you are to the women you’re dating. If there seems to be a dearth of signs, well, we’ve got a remedy for that. 

Reasons To Keep Dating Her (If You’re Not Sure)

You Can’t Keep Your Hands Off Her

Everyone has an invisible forcefield. 

Both men and women carry around their forcefield as they navigate their everyday lives. Only occasionally do we meet someone we’re comfortable and attracted to enough to lower our forcefield and embrace. We engage in touch with friends and family in order to communicate affection and comfort, we do the same with those we’re romantically attracted to. 

Touch is how we convey attraction. It’s touch that makes her hair stand up and heart pump faster. It’s touch that releases dopamine and oxytocin. The more you yearn to make physical contact with her, the more attraction there is. Be leery that this may only be a sign of physical attraction. This is a strain of attraction that isn’t known to sustain a relationship.

Ask yourself. Do you merely want to touch this woman because she’s beautiful, or because you also have an emotional bond with her? 

You Think About Her When You’re Not Together

Harken back to the opening paragraph. We’ve been using cliches as roadmaps for love for far too long. But every flamboyant cliche is born out of truth. Take a second to think about the most common thoughts you typically have. Perhaps you stress about work, fantasize about that vacation you just booked, or find yourself mentally juggling a soccer ball when you’re bored.

Reoccurring thoughts are of the most important. Naturally, we don’t think much about things or people that we don’t care about. When’s the last time your 10th grade science teacher popped into your mind? 

That doesn’t necessarily mean that if you don’t think about her constantly you’re not attracted to her. Not obsessing about a woman isn’t a sign of a lack of attraction, rather it just means you’re of healthy mind. If you do find yourself obsessed with this woman you may have your attachment style to blame. 

Her Friends and Family Rock

Let’s push attraction to the side for a moment. Your connection with her friends and family have little to do with your attraction to her. However, attraction to family and friends may have everything to do with your choice to sustain or axe the relationship. 

Perhaps you two see yourselves moving to some remote island in the Carribean in the future. In this case, your relationship with those closest to her won’t matter. But if you plan on seeing those closest to her on a regular basis, you better damn well enjoy their company. 

Are you content spending every weekend with her friends from college? Do you see yourself smiling as you clink beers with her father and cousins every holiday? If her family and friends are toxic, reconsider staying with her. 

You Can Tell She Truly Cares for You

Naturally, we’re attracted to people that are attracted to us. Sure unrequited love was en vogue when you were in elementary school, but nowadays very few if any of your friends are left pining over a work crush that has no idea of their existence. This is because attraction needs to be mutually reciprocated in order to survive. 

Does she explicitly show you that she cares for you? Does she go to concerts you want to go to, hang out with friends of yours she doesn’t know well, and bring you chicken soup when you’re sick? Do you think she genuinely likes you, or is she just using you for your money, home, or connections? 

Flex your hippocampus and recall the last time she did something nice for you. This act of kindness may have not been overt like gifting you a six-pack of your favorite craft beer or buying tickets to see your band. Think smaller. If you can’t identify any acts of kindness, consider if you really want to be with someone that doesn’t like you as much as you like them. 

She Accepts Your Flaws

Over-choice is killing romance. 

Anyone can be imbued with the will to leave someone after opening Tinder and receiving 30 matches in the span of two days. This idea that we’re surrounded by a multitude of perfect partners makes us reach for the stars. But reaching for a star and actually grabbing one are two different things. 

The illusion of a sea of ideal partners out there deters us from shacking up long term. Weird laughs, shrill voices, and being anathema to The Office are nowadays all red flags. Men and women just don’t seem willing to settle for someone that isn’t evidently their soul mate.

Finding someone that accepts your flaws is seldom seen in modern dating. Appreciate her appreciation for you despite your hobby of picking your nose and flicking your nose nuggets into a corner of the room you affectionately call the cemetery.

She Lets You be YOU

When on a first date, men have a habit of making minor alterations. This can be an alteration to their job description, hobbies, or idiosyncrasies. You guys do this because you think these small alterations will optimize your chances of getting the girl. In the short term, this might work out. But in the long run, you’ll have to let your character shine through or be forced to continue the charade until the grave. 

Find someone that likes you the way you are and you’ll never have to sign up for another dating app ever again. Is that a solid incentive or what?

When To Cut Bait and Continue MegaDating

How to know if you like a woman enough to keep dating her is just as important as knowing when to cut her loose. If you’re struggling with the question of “do I like her enough” considering the following. 

Her Morals and Values Don’t Line Up to Yours

Is she a Republic and you a Dem? Does she think family is unimportant yet you cherish yours? Do you welcome a future full of boisterous fights or does a more tranquil future suit your style? It is our morals and values that provide the foundation for who we are. A disagreement regarding a TV show or sports team can be overcome. But when it comes to major issues like how we treat people, a dissenting opinion might be the last thing we need.

If She’s in the “Danger Zone” 

Want to hear a retired meteorologist help you find true love with the help of a chart and a whiteboard -listen to Sam Potter. Should satire not provide the illumination you’re looking for, consider this. There are literally thousands of eligible women out there. It doesn’t matter if you’re in your 30s or even 40s. While the dating pool has dried up somewhat, this is no reason to settle. 

MegaDating is a prolific dating strategy in which a man dates various women so as to find the best partner for him as quickly and efficiently as possible. If this woman is a bit too -fill in the blank- for you, don’t settle, find someone else. You don’t need to put up with a relationship that doesn’t’ work for you. Get out of the danger zone and find yourself a worthy partner. 

If She Talks About Her Ex Too Much

We can’t fully give ourselves to someone is we’re trapped in the past. If you’re still stalking your ex on IG can you really be open enough to allow yourself to have feelings for someone else? Answering these questions will help you understand why listening to your date talk about her ex too often is a blinding neon red flag.  

She’s Rude to Other People Around You

How does she treat the waiter, the UBER driver, and the security guard? When she visibly gets upset and condescends to the taxi driver you will inevitably be associated with that rudeness.

If she hasn’t learned how to treat people properly by her late 20s, it’s doubtful that she’ll ever learn. Do you really want this woman teaching your children how to treat people? And hey, if you think she’s bad, wait until you meet her family. 

It Feels Forced

It’s Friday night. You pick up your phone to call her to hang out because this has been your Friday ritual for the past couple of months. But lately, the screen of your phone seems to repel your fingers every time you attempt to text her. It’s with reluctance that you ask her to hang out and with relief when you find a way for the date to end early. 

A quality relationship should feel like coasting down a hill on a skateboard. There’s little resistance or effort in creating momentum. So how do you know if you like her enough to keep dating her? Easy, do you coast or are you pedaling uphill? 

The Relationship Is Difficult Or Challenging Early On

This is the honeymoon phase of the relationship. You two should be infatuated with each other with emotions running high with every mention of her name. But instead, you’re feelings fluctuate. Sometimes you can’t wait to see her, other times you feel relieved that your UBER is running late because it provides a slight delay to the inevitably wretched night that’s in store for you. 

You Fight or Argue All The Time, Especially Early On In The Relationship

Gary Lewandowski Jr. professor of psychology at Monmouth University says that the early stages of a relationship should be defined as “that magical time when your partner is still perfect and you are very much in love.”

Perhaps you’re not in love yet, but at the very least you have intense romantic feelings for this person. During this period, you should feel “…high levels of passionate love, characterized by intense feelings of attraction and ecstasy, as well as an idealization of one’s partner.”

If instead, you find yourself doing the opposite -fighting, yelling and storming out of her apartment- perhaps its time to MegaDate. 

You Feel Like You Just Can’t Understand Each Other

It may take a little while to understand your nascent partner. Everyone has their idiosyncrasies that take time to adjust to. But after a while, you’ll realize that these misunderstandings are hindering your ability to bond. You can’t understand why she is the way she is, and you likely never will. While her mystery was appealing at first, soon it’ll become a permanent mask that she can’t ever take off. 

It Feels Like a Rollercoaster, With Many Ups and Downs. High Highs and Low Lows.

This is the perfect description of everyone’s first love. It probably took place during puberty when waves of hormones dictated your every move and when the naivety of first love made you question your every move. This is how love used to be.

But after the hormones settled, you realized that a healthy relationship meant stability. Love might be a rollercoaster, but it’s a rollercoaster that you designed and that you decided to get on. 

She Puts You Down or Tells You Bad Things About Yourself

Does she remind you of that youth baseball coach that no kid wanted to play for? The guy that would make you run laps for dropping a ball or made fun of you in front of the entire team? We want to date people that lift us up, not make fun of us when we’re already down. 

She’s Less Invested In The Relationship Than You Are

You may never have that perfect balance. But what you do need is a commitment to each other. You’re investing your time and affection and receiving a paltry ROI. If this is the case early on in the relationship, then it won’t get any better later on. 

Do I Like Her Enough to Keep Dating Her? Wrap-up

The signs aren’t always visible. It takes practice to identify them. This is why I encourage you to date around until you’re sure. The more dates you go on the better you’ll be able to identify what type of woman you’re interested in.

Not only this but once you begin dating a woman you know isn’t the right fit, you’ll be able to drop her with ease, because you will have learned via MegaDating that you can easily find another woman.

To learn about the dating strategy that my clients have been employing for years now, book a 1-on-1 New Client Skype Session with me today. I’ll not only introduce you to MegaDating but together we’ll create a dating plan that works for you, and determine if my 3 month coaching program could help you reach your dating goals even faster.