Messaging strangers on the Internet is a lot like sending a cold email.

Despite knowing next to nothing about this person you’ve got to conjure up a message out of thin air that will not only be opened and read but also replied to.

Recently I found some inspiration by way of such a message.

If was from Ryan and it looks like this:

Subject Line: Ryan + Emyli

Body:

Why exactly did this email work and what are the dating app first message tips you can learn from it?

Dating App First Message Tips From A Salesperson

The average click-through rate of an email is about 2.5%.

I can only assume that rate is even lower when it comes to messages sent via dating apps.

But today, we’re going to increase the response rate of your dating app opening messages with the help of the email above.

Speak To Her And Only Her

I have a question for you.

Question: What’s every woman’s favorite word?

Answer: Her own name.

If you weren’t already aware, people love their name (unless your name is Demitri or X Æ A-12).

So much so that scientists determine that one’s brain lights up at the sound of their own name.

Look at the subject line as well as the first line of the email (both of which are visible without even opening the message).

Ryan + Emyli is something a friend or someone I know would write. It’s warm, different, and quickly built a connection between us.

He followed the subject up by using my name once again.

This is something all men should do.

Let’s have a look at your message bank, chances are it looks something like this.

As you can see, without even opening a message, the user can see the first few words of the message.

Hook her in by using her name, followed by the rest of your message.

Chance are if she sees her name written she’ll likely open the message.

You may not think this is a compelling strategy but just look at the kinds of messages the competition is sending.

We’ve created various female profiles to learn the messaging habits of men. We found that about 75% of men start messages with, “hey” or a variation (i.e. Hey baby! You are cute!). Literally sending any message that isn’t a basic “hey” gives you a better than average shot of getting your message replied to.

Show Her Your Value

As a business owner, I’m always trying to increase revenue.

One issue I have is potential clients that putting an item in their shopping cart and leaving it there.

So naturally his first line won my attention:

“Emyli, we’d love to share how top-performing WooCommerce brands are TRIPLING their abandoned cart conversions.”

This is a high-value line, one that highly sought-after ladies on Tinder won’t wait around for.

Ryan added value by speaking to a pain point. He hinted at offering an amazing solution to a real-life problem of mine.

You too can offer value with your first message.

Here’s how to do it.

She’s on dating apps looking for a man worthy of dating. Your first line needs to show her you’re that person.

There are a few ways to show this. Heed these dating app first message tips:

1) Comment On Her Profile

“Sarah! I’m happy to have matched with a fellow climber. Have you heard of Alacan’s Point? It’s my new favorite spot.”

The example above shows that the male user scanned her profile, read it, identified a commonality and pounced. He not only let her know that they have something in common but that he knows this amazing hiking spot that she’ll certainly be interested in.

2) Make Her Laugh (Or at least smile)

“I’ll be honest Becca. I stalked your IG and learned that along with having a nice face you also play trivia. That’s a winning combination for me. Sooo we should hangout”

If it worked for one of our clients it’ll work for you too.

3) Just Be Interesting

She wants a guy that’s stimulating, that rides horses, plays squash, and doesn’t message “hey cutie.”

Again, simply sending her any other message that doesn’t start with, “hey” gives you a good chance of getting a response.

You can be interesting simply by asking her a question about something on her profile.

Send her a message like:

— My dog will get jealous if I don’t take her on our first date. What kind of breed is your pooch?

— Jess! What’s your go-to karaoke song? I’m looking for someone that wants to sing a duet.

— Yo Beth… care to exchange secrets?

— Tell me something cool about yourself Pam..

All these messages will help you stand out from the rest of the much on Tinder and Bumble.

Be Brief

Being brief might be one of the most effective dating app first message tips you can use to increase your response rate. Here’s a stat that sounds believable: The average female Tinder user spends an average of 3 seconds reading messages.

I’ll confess that I totally made that up but I did so to prove a point.

Women don’t have time to read a super long message.

Ryan let me know in as few words as possible his intention for reaching out.

She has a billion messages waiting in her inbox.

Make sure your high-value dating app first message is to the point.

TDL

Ryan didn’t wait around to ask me to talk to him.

In his dating app first message, he asked, “Does Tuesday or Thursday work for a call to learn more about a 2-week trial?”

By giving me two options it increased the likelihood of me saying yes.

Why?

Well, it made the request concrete and real. If he asked for me to call him when I’m free I never would have thought to do so. By giving me only two days to contact him it also made me feel as though I need to take advantage of this small window before it closes.

All good salesmen know to speak in terms of time.

You can do the same when you pitch your TDL.

Granted you may want to wait a few messages to ask her out at some point you’ll want to use a TDL.

TDL stands for time, date, location.

A quality TDL looks something like this: