Best Dating App Opening Lines for Guys… From Comedians, Poets, And Writers
They’re cheesy, only seriously used by the socially inept, and will occasionally get you slapped. That’s right, we’re talking about dating app opening lines.
If you’re a virgin to pickup lines, congratulations! You probably have decent communication skills and self-esteem high enough to the point where you don’t have to objectify woman upon meeting them.
The thing about opening lines or pickup lines is that, well, even though most are god-awful, some actually work.
And by work, I don’t mean sidling up to a woman at a bar and having the first thing you say to her be:
If you were a burger at McDonald’s, you’d be the McGorgeous.
Socially inept men used to use pickup lines (in a serious manner) to break the ice typically at bars and parties.
If that’s how you’re using them, you’re doing it wrong.
Considering your next relationship is most likely to get started online, it’s within this context that pickup lines, or opening lines, can be used. I say can, because ideally you’d say a billion other things that aren’t pickup lines.
However, pickup lines can work if they’re being used in jest.
Look, dating apps are pretty crowded.
As you can see, 72% of all Tinder users are male.
Being that women are scarce and thus seen as of higher value, they can now be pickier with who they decide to swipe right on.
This means that when the Tinder gods finally grant you a match you’re going to have to take advantage.
Considering she’s probably bombarded with first messages, you’re going to have to write her an opening line that really stands out.
It’s for that reason that we’ve gathered some of the best dating app opening lines from comedians, poets, and writers.
Use and tweak these lines to help you court your next Tinderella.
Best Dating App Opening Lines For Guys
Opening lines aren’t skeleton keys.
Comb through these lines and alter them as you see fit.
Use that line that is relevant to the woman that you fancy. If in her bio she talks about the stock market, maybe tell her:
“Hey girl are you the stock market? Cause I didn’t even know you existed until like 5 minutes ago but now I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Thanks for that one Connor.
But if her profile obviously has nothing to do with stocks, maybe move on to the next one.
With that said, here are the best pickup lines/opening lines supplied by the best and brightest.
Best Opening Lines From Comedians/Comedies
The best pickup lines are subtle, gentle, and leave a little something for the imagination… then there are the other pickup lines.
“Relax, I’m not trying to hit on you. I’m trying to fu*k you.” – Chris Millhouse
Hey, it’s certainly not gonna work with every lady (99.99% to be exact), but it genuinely made me LOL so I had to include it. Even though it’s too edgy for most, keep in mind that edge is what you need to stand out.
That’s right, good old Creed.
Look we all know how gleeful dating app users are to tell the world of their love for The Office.
And sure, even though it’s gone a bit too far, the best way to strike up a conversation with an Office lover might just be to use a classic line as an opening message.
Just in case you don’t think you should be relying on Creed for pickup lines, here’s Daryl.
An ellipsis can say more than 1,000 bad pickup lines.
Keep The Office opening messages coming.
“How would you like to have a sexual encounter so intense, it could conceivably change your political views?”
– John Cusack
Fans of Cusack will remember this classic line from his film, The Sure Thing.
Remember what I was saying before about how pickup lines and opening lines aren’t skeleton keys? This line is the perfect example.
Only use this gem of an opening line on a woman whose political views are different than your own.
Superbad is a classic.
So classic that there are bound to be one or two women you’ve matched with that are into the film.
Why do I say that?
Because most likely it’s literally written in their bio.
More often than not a woman will write one or two shows/movies that they love in their profile. All you’ve got to do to get on her good side is to quote something from what she’s listed. It doesn’t need to be a pickup line, but it’s got to be something that makes sense as an opening message.
Jonah Hill’s one-liner is crass, sure, but if she’s already a Superbad fan it just might work.
“You scratch our backs, we’ll scratch yours.”
“Well, Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it’s located on my c**k.”
Now let’s move on to a more lovey-dovey kind of opening line that is even borderline sappy.
“You remind me of a bottle of Snapple because you’re made from the best stuff on earth.” – Brad Williams
Again, is she drinking a Snapple in one of her photos? If so you’ve just nailed it.
Use her bio and photos to inform what you write for an opening line.
“Your husband had told me you were the most beautiful woman he’d ever met. I didn’t expect the most beautiful woman I’d ever met.” – Clooney
The great George Clooney said this in Intolerable Cruelty.
As is, the line doesn’t make a ton of sense.
But what happens when we take out a husband for mom?
Look, everyone’s always talking about how awesome their parents think they are on dating apps. Rewrite the line so that they made sense given what she’s written in her profile.
Best Opening Lines From Writers
Look when it comes to waxing poetic, no one does it better than writers.
Let’s take a look at some of the most classic lines from literature that you can co-opt and use as opening lines for dating apps.
“You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.” – Margaret Mitchell
I see you Margaret Mitchell.
This classic line is courtesy of none other than Gone With The Wind.
Not exactly the sultry romance novel you were imagining was it?
Anytime you see a woman reading literature or mentioning books she likes in her profile, take that as a cue to scour the web and drop her a line from her favorite novel.
But honestly, even if she isn’t a huge Mitchell fan, I get the feeling this line still kicks ass.
But perhaps that lady you’re courting isn’t the most literarily-inclined.
Perhaps she’s the sappier sort.
If that’s the case you can always hit it with this classic line.
“I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.” – The Notebook
Chances are she won’t respond to your message immediately so I advise spreading the message out either throughout the course of a few days (to give her a chance to play along) or at least break the message up so it’s not just a rock of text.
“Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you’ve got to say, and say it hot.” – D.H. Lawrence
This is the kind of opening line that I’d honestly advise using on just about any woman. It’s just so damn good, and considering she has yet to send you a message, makes perfect sense given the context.
To be fair, she’ll probably just respond with, “umm… hey,” but that’s perfectly fine.
Do you know how many guys never receive responses to their messages?
Well, people have actually studied that question.
One researcher found that “An average man who sends 18 messages to women his own age can be 50% certain he’ll receive at least one response. For women, they need to send only 5 messages to be 50% certain they’ll get a response.”
To be 90% of receiving a message, an average man has to send 58 messages whereas a woman only needs to send 13.
Then again it depends on the opening line you ultimately go with.
To increase your chances of a response you can always send her this classic pantie-dropper from Wuthering Heights.
“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” – Bronte
Just change “his” to “yours” and you’ve got yourself an opening line she can’t say not to – unless she’s a philistine.
Best Dating App Opening Lines From Poets
If I’m being cliche, you’re probably a poet and don’t even know it.
If I’m being truthful, no, you’re probably not a poet, but you are a thief — at least you should be.
Here are a few classic lines you shouldn’t be afraid to plagiarize.
To kick things off here’s seńor Neruda, or as others call him, Daddy.
I’m not gonna lie, I may not know exactly what that means, but goddamn is it sexy.
This one however is a bit more direct.
“I would love to say that you make me weak in the knees but to be quite upfront and completely truthful you make my body forget it has knees at all.” – Tyler Knott Gregson
Modern poets just have a way of understanding how to woo women online.
Next up we have a line from the quintessential poet of love.
“You might not have been my first love, but you were the love that made all the other loves irrelevant” – Rupi
No compilation of poetic pick-up lines would be complete without Rupi… oh wait I think I was thinking of Rumi.
Let’s remedy that real quick.
“Dance, when you’re broken open. Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you’re perfectly free. And of course dance with that random you just met on Tinder but who has a really nice face” – Rumi
You can never go wrong with an intentional misquote. When misquoting famous lines, be sure to attribute the quote to the original speaker. Make sure that the quote is different and ironic enough to be funny.
Get Your Mack On!
Now that you have enough love ammunition to write a Nicolas Sparks novel of your own it’s time to try out a few of these lines.
Remember to personalize these quotes when possible and only use quotes that are relevant to the person’s dating profile.
If you find that plagiarizing Neruda still isn’t getting you results there’s only one option left for you.
Well, there are a lot actually, there’s Dickinson, Wordsworth, and even Billy Collins.
But if stealing someone’s words, in general, isn’t your style or if you don’t know what to say when she responds I have a solution for you.
Our coaches at emlovz have coached many a man on how to chat it up with ladies online. They’ll teach you the ins and outs of online dating and will prepare you for any situation you might face.
To learn how they can improve your dating skills & reach your goals — like getting into a relationship in 90 days — get started by booking a 1-on-1 Zoom call to chat with an emlovz coach.
They’ll present you with coaching (and matchmaking) options and will put you on a path towards romantic greatness.