So you’ve graduated from my emlovz coaching or matchmaking programs landed a wonderful girlfriend and now things are getting serious enough that you’re thinking about moving in together.

Great, right? Although this is certainly an exciting time in your relationship, it can also be filled with a lot of challenges that will test your bond.

From money issues to furniture disagreements, this time will be filled with potentially sticky situations and plenty of awkward conversations.

Being prepared for potential issues that could come up will help you navigate this trying time with ease and ultimately be able to enjoy all of the benefits of cohabiting with your girlfriend.

Read on below to get my 7 tips for moving in with your girlfriend. 

Tips for Moving in With Your Girlfriend

Her Place or Yours?

First and foremost, you’re going to have to decide where you’ll be living. If you each already have your own places, it can be tempting to just pick whoever’s apartment is biggest or has the lowest rent. Before you make a hasty decision, consider how your girlfriend might feel about moving into your current residence.

Would she feel like she’s intruding on you territory or moving into an established bachelor pad? The same goes if you’re considering moving into her place. If you can picture yourself truly at home it might be the right choice, but make sure you give it some careful thought.

After thinking it over, you might decide as a couple that a fresh start in a new place is the best option. This gives you the opportunity to pick a place that will perfectly fit your needs as a couple in terms of space and location. You might be looking to move closer to work or explore a new part of your city and picking a new place together gives you the opportunity to do that.

It will also allow you to go through the process of finding and securing an apartment together so both partners feel like they’re able to give their input on the new place.

Make a Budget

Before the lease is signed, make a date to sit down together and iron out the financial details. It won’t be your most romantic date ever, but starting an open conversation early about how you will handle money will alleviate issues down the road.

If you’re apartment hunting you should discuss how much you’d want to spend on a place and how much each partner will contribute. Will you split everything 50/50 or proportionally based on how much you each earn? Will you start a joint bank account or continue to keep your money separate?

These are just a few things you should be sure to address in your meeting. Be sure to also talk about how you will handle other expenses like utilities, groceries, entertainment, and furniture and decor for your home. Using a budgeting app can be a helpful tool for these types of discussions.

Although it’s not ideal, you should also discuss how the things you purchase for the apartment will be divided up should you decide to separate. It’s not a fun conversation to have, but having a mature, open communication about the possibility is important when bringing your relationship to this level.

Decide What Needs to Stay or Go

If you each already live on your own, chances are you probably have duplicates of a lot of items. Make some time to get together and take inventory of what you both own, what you want to keep and anything you want or need to buy new.

It’s important to go through this process together so both partners can have equal input on what is coming into the new shared space and feel a sense of ownership.

This step has the added bonus of giving you the opportunity to get rid of your older, cheaper items as you combine possessions with your girlfriend. Try selling duplicate items on Craigslist or Facebook Marketplace to make some easy money for the upcoming move.

Then take this opportunity to go shopping together for new upgraded appliances or furniture. You’ll each be able to have some input on the new purchase and be able to pick out a new piece that perfectly matches your new, combined style.

Avoid Clashes Over Decor Style

Decor can be a huge point of contention, especially if you’re moving into your girlfriend’s residence. After all, most women aren’t going to want to live in a place covered in video game memorabilia and beer signs and most men don’t want their entire living space to be decorated with florals.

You want your girlfriend to feel comfortable and happy in her new home, not like she’s constantly intruding in your space.

This can be tricky, especially if the styles you each gravitate towards are wildly different. Both sides are going to need to be willing to compromise on the decor to find a happy medium that you both can live with.

If you’re finding it especially difficult to find a style you both like, it might be worth it to bring in a professional interior designer to act as a neutral third party. A designer will be able to help identify each of your individual styles, find commonalities and suggest some designs that will make you both happy. They can also serve as a tie-breaker in the case of any serious disagreements over furniture or room colors.

Schedule Time Apart

When you move in with your girlfriend it can feel extremely exciting and romantic, like a never-ending sleepover. Suddenly, spending every Saturday night at home sounds great and you might be tempted to often skip plans out with friends in favor of hanging with your partner.

As enticing as it is to now be able to see your partner 24/7, try not to overdo it or you may start to feel resentful of the sudden loss of your private space and time.

To avoid this, make sure each of you are making time for your own separate hobbies and activities. Encourage your girlfriend to meet her friends for drinks after work or go on a shopping trip with her mom.

It’s healthy to spend time apart and if you’re starting to feel overwhelmed by so much “together time” you’ll have an opportunity to relax by yourself.  

Spending time apart engaging in activities you love will help you each maintain your individual identity, not to mention you’ll be more excited to come home and see your partner at the end of the day.

Talk About Chores and Expectations

Everyone has different standards of what “clean” means, so once you move in with your girlfriend make sure you have an open conversation about your expectations. Discuss what chores you would prefer to do and not to do and how often they should be done.

If you’re both the organized type, you might want to make a chart or spreadsheet to track how often chores should be done and who’s turn it is to do them.

During this conversation it’s important to be honest with yourself and your girlfriend. Don’t say you’re a clean freak just to make her happy if you’re really the type of person who’s okay with letting the dishes stack up for a few days.

Additionally, you’ll probably need to realize that some of your old bachelor habits are going to have to change, aka you’re going to be expected to vacuum more than once a year. Make a real effort to help out around the house as much as possible and your girlfriend is sure to appreciate the gesture and you’ll be well on your way to cohabitational bliss.

Keep Planning Date Nights

I’ve already mentioned the importance of spending time apart once you live together but now it’s time to address the flip side. Since you’re living under the same roof and spending a lot of time together it can be easy to let date nights and quality time together fall by the wayside. Instead of getting dressed up and going out to a show, you’ll settle for watching TV on the couch while you eat dinner.

Even though you might feel like you see each other all the time, it’s important to keep date nights a regular occurance. Setting aside time to connect as a couple apart from everyday activities is an essential part of keeping your relationship healthy and happy.

For some, this might mean specifically planning dates out of the house, but for others a fancy home cooked dinner or a home movie night could fit the bill. There are plenty of other date night ideas on our blog that you can reference when planning as well. The important thing is to make the time together special and treat your girlfriend the same attentive way you did when you first started dating her. This might even mean designating date nights as a phone-free time so you can truly focus on the other person.

Keeping up with date nights will not only strengthen your relationship, but also reaffirm that your decision to move in together was the right one. After all, what could be a better end to date night than going home together?

Moving in with your girlfriend can be an exciting and romantic time but it’s not without its share of stress and challenges. If you have a strong bond and open communication throughout the process you’ll soon be on your way to happy cohabitation.

Tips for Moving In With Your Girlfriend: Wrap

I remember when I moved in to my boyfriend’s place a number of years ago. I wish I had this article to share with him as he definitely sweated out the first year living together.

I’ll give him a little credit, it was his first time living with a girlfriend.