Even the most confident of singles can fall victim to first (or even third) date jitters. If you’re wondering how to overcome nervousness on a date, you’ve come to the right place.
During my 100-date experiment, I threw myself headfirst into every facet of the dating world by making myself the guinea pig. Going on 101 dates with 52 men taught me a lot about dating and myself. Moreover, it forced me to face my fears and learn how to overcome nervousness in the name of research — and potential love.
Today, I coach men from all walks of life on the intricacies of the dating world, marriage, divorce and beyond. No matter what stage you’re at, feeling nervous about a date is common. To help you beat those jitters and optimize your chances of success, take a look at 13 ways to overcome nervousness on a date.
Tip #1: Have a Drink Beforehand
Allow yourself one beer or glass of wine before the date. Keep in mind that you don’t want to go beyond that one glass. If you show up to a date buzzed or (lawd help us all) hammered, it’s not going to matter how relaxed you are. She’s going to want to head straight for the exit door.
But a small amount of alcohol can bring your anxiety levels down enough so that things don’t feel so overwhelming. As you relax, you’ll be less likely to freeze up or allow your nerves to get the best of you.
Tip #2: Practice Talking to Strangers
Make a point to say hi to at least a few different people each day. You don’t have to worry about having full-blown conversations. Ask the cashier at the grocery store how her day is going or make a comment about the weather to your local barista.
While initiating these small exchanges, before to smile and maintain good eye contact. Practice active listening skills when they respond. This will prepare you to talk to a woman you don’t know very well and overcome nervousness on a date.
Tip #3: Work On Your Conversation Skills
Piggybacking off my last tip, I suggest you work on your conversation skills to overcome nervousness on a first date.
Spend time talking to friends and family. During your conversations, take inventory of how you’re interacting with them.
Are you maintaining eye contact? Are you actively listening to them and asking questions based on their input?
Conversation is ideally an exchanging of questions, ideas, and revelations. There should be a comfortable back-and-forth. Nobody should be overtaking the conversation. There should be a balance of speaking and listening.
Find a trusted friend or family member and practice this. Ask their feedback on your conversation skills. You can even do some role-playing and practice some potential conversations you foresee happening on your date.
And if you don’t have someone you feel comfortable doing this with, I’m here to help. At the end of this article, I’ll provide some contact information for you if you’d like to receive 1-on-1 help from a professional dating coach.
Tip #4: Go for a Run
You should never run away from your problems. However, the act of running is a great way to mitigate anxiety.
No, you don’t need to display any type of Herculean endurance to enjoy the benefits of running. But taking a jog before you meet someone is a great way to overcome nervousness on a date.
Running releases endorphins, which are hormones that increase feelings of well-being.
Tip #5: Listen to Music
Whether you’re taking the run I suggested in the previous tip, getting ready for your date or driving to your date destination, cueing up some tunes is a great way to overcome nervousness on a date.
According to several scientific studies cited by Greatist, listening to music offers several benefits, such as:
- Pain relief
- Better sleep
- Stress reduction
- Decreased symptoms of depression
- Improved mood
- Improved ability to perform under pressure
- Decreased anxiety
Here’s an idea: Look up places that have a great music selection when planning a date. You could go to a piano or jazz bar or any venue that has live music. You can also look up cheap or free outdoor music festivals in your area.
There’s nothing like some good tunes to cure nervousness.
Tip #6: Dress to Impress
It’s true that looks aren’t everything. However, feeling good in your own skin can work wonders if you need to overcome nervousness on a date.
Wear an outfit that you feel really sexy in. My boyfriend and I use Stitch Fix– a clothes delivery service that sends you awesome clothes while at the same time saving you time from having to go “shopping.”
You can also prep for the date by getting a haircut and trying out an amazing new cologne. When you feel sexy, you exude a confidence that women find appealing and gravitate toward.
Tip #7: Eat Right
There is a lot of truth to certain cliches. For example: “You are what you eat.”
The things we put in our body can impact more than our physical health. You can greatly increase or reduce your anxiety depending on the type of diet you follow.
According to the Mayo Clinic, a healthy diet can’t cure anxiety, but it definitely plays a role in curbing your symptoms if you’re healthy.
Avoid processed foods and limit things like alcohol and caffeine. Don’t skip breakfast and aim to eat three balanced meals a day. Complex carbohydrates (like whole wheat bread, oatmeal and barely), lean proteins and plenty of fruits and vegetables are all prevalent in a diet that improves mood.
Tip #8: Get Enough Sleep
Feeling nervous? Some good shut-eye can help.
Poor sleep and anxiety tend to be a sort of chicken or the egg situation — it can be hard to tell which came first.
That’s because anxiety can make it hard to sleep and a lack of sleep can increase anxiety. To break this cycle, try the following things:
- Prepare your environment for sleep. Turn the lights off in your room, make sure the temperature is comfortable and fill your bed with comfy pillows and blankets
- If your mattress is making it difficult to sleep or leaving you with aches and pains, shop for a new one that is tailored to your needs
- Limit caffeine and alcohol intake. Both can make it difficult to sleep. Moreover, overindulging in alcohol can seriously disrupt sleep
- Turn off your electronic devices and avoid scrolling through your social media feeds before bed. This keeps your mind active and makes it difficult to get to sleep
- Don’t eat right before bed
- Try out some white noise or meditative sounds to coax you into dreamland
When you get enough sleep, your mind is sharper and your mood is improved. Feeling refreshed and rested will make it easier to tackle any challenge, including nervousness on a date.
Tip #9: Breathe
Don’t forget to breathe!
Yes, the simple act of breathing can help you overcome nervousness on a date. More specifically, diaphragmatic breathing works wonders when it comes to stress relief.
According to Harvard Health Publications, deep breathing quells the stress response. If you’re constantly on edge, the persistent release of cortisol (otherwise known as “the stress hormone”) can lead to health ailments, including:
- Lack of focus
- Increased risk of heart disease
- Higher susceptibility to cold and flu
- Increased risk of anxiety and depression
That’s why it’s so important to practice self-care and include deep breathing in that self-care regimen.
Diaphragmatic breathing is extremely easy to do. The best part? It’s totally free and you can do it each day. Simply giving your lungs some love can work wonders when it comes to decreasing nervousness on a date and lowering your everyday stress.
Tip #10: Meditate
Take deep breathing to the next level by meditating. There is a litany of science-backed benefits of meditation, ranging from decreased anxiety to increased lifespan.
Meditation involves consciously training yourself to clear your mind and experience peace and tranquility by staying in the present moment. You can find meditation classes near you with a simple Google search. Or, you can find guided meditation exercises on YouTube or download a meditation app like Headspace or Calm.
Tip #11: Make Sure You’re Not Hungry Before the Date
This is an important — yet often overlooked — way to overcome nervousness on a date.
I don’t even need to list any scientific data to let you know that being hungry is uncomfortable. If your blood sugar is low and you have an attack of hanger pains, it’s going to be nearly impossible to act normally during your date.
Make sure you have at least a snack before going on your date. Something with fiber and protein (for example, a granola bar with nuts or Greek yogurt and some almonds) will fill you up without leaving you stuffed. Don’t simply grab something sugary like a donut or chips.
Processed, refined foods have empty calories. This means that, even though they deliver a jolt of energy immediately after consumption, your blood sugar levels are likely to plummet just as quickly as they rose.
Tip #12: Stretch to Release Muscle Tension
Chances are you’ve been tensing up thinking about your date. This leads to muscle tension, which is uncomfortable and can increase anxiety.
Stretching can significantly reduce stretch and leave you feeling refreshed and ready for your date. More specifically, yoga exercises involve a ton of stretching and also are designed to put your mind at ease.
Tip 13: MegaDate
What’s the absolute best way to overcome nervousness on a date? MegaDating.
MegaDating is a dating strategy that involves going on dates with several people at the same time. When you MegaDate, you are constantly gaining experience in the dating world, which significantly decreases anxiety and increases confidence over time. After all, practice makes perfect.
I used MegaDating as my top strategy during my 100-date experiment. It helped me overcome dating anxiety and find lasting love. Guess what? It can do the same for you!
Want to learn more?
How to Overcome Nervousness On a Date and Beyond
Want to learn all the ins and outs of MegaDating? Do you want to attract tons of attractive, high-value women? Are you ready to find the woman of your dreams and stay out of the friendzone for good?
If so, head over to my calendar and book a 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. During our session, we will create an individualized action plan to help you overcome your roadblocks and positively CRUSH your dating goals.
I’ve helped men all over the world find lasting love. I can’t wait to do the same for you.