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How to Give Your Wife Space in a Relationship And Win Her Back

When your wife tells you she wants you to give her space in a relationship, you need to be able to grant her that wish while still convincing her that you care about the relationship and are serious about changing. 

But how do you do that when you two are no longer talking?

It seems like an impossible riddle, but we might have the answer. 



But before talking about how to win your wife back while still giving her space, let’s talk about your gut reaction to hearing that she wants space. 

Give Her Space In A Relationship

Pulling Her In

Chances are, if your partner whose life you’ve revolved around for some time now told you she wants to cool things off, you’re kind of freaking out. And with good reason. It feels like your life is being uprooted, so naturally, you want to reach out. 

Instead of space, you want to shrink that space and show her how much she means to you. You may want to shower her with gifts, plan that getaway that you two have been talking about, and in general do anything that sweeps her off her feet. 

Here’s the thing: that’s not what she wants. 

By disobeying her and reaching out you’re not only disrespecting her but you’re giving her yet another reason to question whether this relationship has the legs to last. 

I know it can feel counterintuitive to do as she has asked and not communicate with her, but doing the opposite will only give her more reason to pull away from you. 

So, if forcing yourself into her life won’t get her back, what will?

It’s Her Choice

She needs to make the decision to come back to you by herself. Pressuring her will only force her away. 

But there are some steps you can take to convince her to come back to you. 

The first step is as soon as she asks for space, acknowledge and respect her space. Tell her that you’ll give her what she wants and that the door is always open for her to come back and talk to you. 



She might not be expecting this response. If she wants space in the first place, it’s because there’s an issue that keeps arising that the two of you can’t resolve. Responding to this mini-crisis with composure and empathy already signals that you care and that when the time comes you’ll be able to have a mature and respectful conversation with her. 

This approach is part of a larger strategy that is based on the idea of productive inaction. This means that you’re doing work behind the scenes to improve the relationship. 

Let’s dive into what this looks like a bit more. 

Prove Your Worth

If you’re immediately reaching out to her after she leaves, she knows that you haven’t changed. 

She knows that if she comes back to you things will most likely be the same. Maybe for a week you’ll be on your best behavior but sooner rather than later the relationship will face the same problems it did before. 

By giving her space you allow yourself the time and space you also need to grow. When she comes back you’ll see you’ve changed and will be more inclined to at the very least have a conversation with you if not give the relationship another chance. 

The Change Starts Immediately

The very first thing you need to do to signal that you’re changing is to grant her the space she’s requested. 

Reassure her you will respect her boundaries.

You can literally tell her that she can take all the time she needs and that when she feels comfortable, you’re open to having a conversation with her. 

Let Her Know That You’ll Invest In Yourself

When letting her know you’re giving her space, make sure to also express that you’re not just sitting back. You’re not idle—you’re committed to fighting for her, in your own way.

Along with giving her the space she needs, reassure her that you’re focusing on improving yourself. This also helps ease the fear that she might move on. Let her know you understand what needs to be done and that you’re ready to make the necessary changes to make the relationship work.

Many of our married clients even share with their wives that they’ve hired a marriage coach (yep, us!) to help them improve themselves, their communication, and their emotional intelligence.



Eventually She’ll Reach Out – Be Cool

You’ll pique her curiosity if you’ve effectively signaled that you’re changing or willing to invest in change. 

She’ll wonder if it’s true or not. Naturally, the only way to find out is to reconnect. Sure, it might take days, weeks, or even a month, but chances are she’ll reach out. When she does, you’ll probably want to reconnect immediately. You’ll want to call, text, send her flowers, and meet up ASAP. Hint – don’t send her flowers. 

Just because she’s reaching out doesn’t mean she’s ready to have a sit-down conversation or get back together. If she’s open to it, set a date where you two can reconnect. After the date has been set, continue to give her space. 

I know that you’ll have the urge to text and call, but texting and calling aren’t good enough ways to show her you’ve changed or to address the root cause of why she wanted space in the first place. Save your words for when you two meet up. 

When You Do Finally Meet

The day is almost here.

You’ve both agreed to reconnect, and the anticipation is building.

When you see her, the urge to express how much you’ve missed her, how much she means to you, and how much you’ve changed since she left will be strong. While it’s natural to share these feelings, remember that the purpose of this meeting is to truly listen and understand why things unfolded the way they did.

To truly improve your relationship, it’s important to address the root cause. Ask the right questions, listen closely, and let her guide the conversation.

Take the time to understand her emotional triggers and how to communicate effectively with her. Does she have a particular attachment style? Doing this research beforehand will help you approach the conversation in a way that resonates with her.

Right now, your goal is to gather information and gain clarity on what happened so you can take the right steps to ensure she never feels the need to distance herself again.

Chances are, the reason she pulled away is because she didn’t feel heard. She distanced herself to heal, because being around you only made things worse. Show your wife that you’ve changed by creating a safe space for her to open up.



When she does share, listen carefully and take action based on what she says.

By listening and asking the right questions, she’ll essentially provide you with a beginning blueprint to repair the relationship. The real question is, will you act on it?

Remember, when your partner asks for space, it’s not the end of the relationship—it’s an opportunity to hit the reset button.

Give her the space she needs, focus on your personal growth, prepare for the conversation, and listen intently to understand how best to save your relationship.

If you’re finding all of this overwhelming or unclear, why not partner with a professional team of marriage experts like us who can guide you through this challenging period?

At emlovz, we’ve designed a comprehensive program that equips you with the tools to grow as a partner and enhance your relationship.

Let’s talk one-on-one to explore where you are and how we can help you reach your relationship goals.