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Does Weight Matter To Women When Dating?

By Emyli LovzJune 6, 2019Confidence
does weight matter to women when dating

Does weight matter to women when dating? Yes.

Now that the bomb has been dropped it’s time to explain.

As many an overweight man will know, men are more superficial than women. It’s men that more often than not will swipe left without reading a woman’s Tinder profile, not women. But despite a man’s weighted preference for beauty, women too judge potential suitors depending on their weight. But lucky for you, being overweight isn’t always a bad thing.


The University of Missouri found that corpulent male politicians are considered more trustworthy than their skinny counterparts. Trust as we know goes a long way when attempting to court a woman.

There’s also an evolutionary reason why you might think twice before cutting down on sweets. Professor Garabed Eknoyan of the Baylor College of Medicine wrote that hundreds of years ago, men who could easily store fat were probably thought of as more attractive because doing so allowed them to more easily navigate the harsh environment that hunters and gatherers lived in. Ingrained within the female psyche is a preference for men that are a bit heavier than your average male.

Other pros of being bigger than average are that women think bigger men are better in bed, fatter men are rated as more comedic, and that women like taking photos with big dudes because it makes them look skinnier.

Regarding the former pros, a British study that surveyed 2,544 women found that 38% thought of overweight men as superior lovers to their normal-sized and skinny competitors. The reason for this could be that men with higher body mass indexes than slim men last 7.3 minutes longer than skinny lovers.

Having a potential partner be overweight is much more a turn-off for a male than it is for a female. That isn’t to say that all women find big dudes charming. Few women will find morbidly obese men sexy. Let’s not forget that women have an innate preference for big strong men. However, only men within a certain range of plumpness will reap the benefits that their weight bestows them.

It’s pretty obvious that weight matters to just about everyone. The real question is in what context does weight matter to women most? It’s this question that we will explore in full as we thrust our hypothetical overweight lover into various contexts to see how he fares.

Weight Matters To Women When They’re Swiping

When it comes to evaluating a potential partner it doesn’t get much more superficial than a dating app. No matter if it’s the much-maligned Tinder or feminist-friendly Bumble, all dating apps are overtly superficial.

Dating apps turn mate hunting into a game that only the fittest of men will win. Because female users are inundated with choices they are inclined to be picky. Women know that they can match with a wide range of men with ease on Tinder, so naturally, they’re more selective.


In one of the first quantitative internal studies carried out by Tinder, the company created a male and female profile that were both equally attractive. After creating these fake profiles, the company swiped right on every user they saw. At the end of the study they found that despite both profiles being rated as equally attractive, the female had a matching rate of 10.5% whereas the fake male user had a rating of 0.6%.

Not only are women on dating apps superficial, but they’re also super picky. Being even just a little overweight can cost a male user dearly on a dating application.

Weight Matters To Women During First Impressions

Unlike dating applications, meeting someone in person gives them the opportunity to see a more well rounded you. You’re no longer a static picture crammed into a stranger’s phone screen. Now you’re seen in the flesh, can make jokes, eye contact, and really start learning about the person you’re chatting with.

Despite variables apart from one’s appearance now being counted for, there’s still only so much you can demonstrate during a first impression. Most likely time and context will be your two biggest restraints. Someone with a few more lbs to their name will need to make the most out of their limited time to demonstrate their worthiness.

Women tend to go for guys that aren’t at either end of the weight or height spectrum. Few women want to date a man that weighs too little or too much. Females also tend to date men that have comparable heights and weights. How often is it that we see a 5’2 woman that weighs 110lbs date a 6’2 man carrying 250lbs on his bones?

If there is a drastic weight disparity between the two of you all the means is that you’ll have to showcase your confidence, own your weight, and turn on the charm. If you think your weight is a hindrance to finding a partner, either change your mentality or change your weight. And if you’re looking for a tool to help you lose weight, let me recommend you download the MyFitnessPal app – it has worked wonders for both myself and my boyfriend.

Weight Matters Less To Women In Long Term Relationships

The longer you two date the more opportunities you have to prove your worth. It’s easy to get past someone else’s weight when they have ample wit, share the same principles, and get along great with your friends. Being a few pounds overweight will soon be overshadowed by all of the other awesome traits you have to offer. The key is keeping her engaged in the relationship long enough to show her how great you really are.

Furthermore, I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 7 years now. Our weights have fluctuated 10-25% up and down based on work demands, family stressors, and other variables of life.

When You’re Funny

Humor is the sober equivalent of beer goggles. During my 100-date experiment, I met some guys that were out of shape that I took a liking towards regardless. I was able to look past their physique if they could make me laugh. Cracking a few jokes creates a sort of halo effect that dims a man’s unflattering features while highlighting others. A few good jokes are enough to have any woman put on her funny glasses and begin seeing you in a more favorable light.


Weight Matters Less When You Can Keep Her Safe

Women have been programmed to take to men that make them feel safe. The safety that she’s looking for can be provided in various ways. Sure I’m talking about physical safety, but also financial safety. Though not always consensual, men have been providing for women for thousands of years as they’ve been pushed down the totem pole. Even though professional equality has come a long way, women are still attracted to a man that can provide resources for them.

Sure a woman wants someone that can provide for them financially and protect them while walking through dark alleys. But they also want to feel safe with you. It’s odd really, that the traits that women value most are also the ones that scare them the most. Women both are aroused and fearful of strong men. Women know that the most dangerous person in their life is often their romantic partner.

A 2018 report conducted by the United Nations found that the most dangerous place for a woman is inside her own home. Making a woman feel safe –especially in the early stages of a relationship- will all but guarantee that she’ll stick around.

Weight Matters Less When You’re Happy & Fulfilled

Who wouldn’t find someone exceedingly attractive who just summited Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? They’ve got all areas of their life figured out. They can provide for themselves, have loving relationships, a healthy amount of self-esteem, and in general, feel satisfied with their lives.

Browse any major media outlet and you’re sure to find headlines that proclaim how unhappy Americans are. Wouldn’t it be refreshing to finally be in a relationship with someone that has their shit together? The American dream has become more complex as times have changed. Finding a partner that is no longer having nightmares is an attractive feature.

Weight Matters Less When You Love What You Do For Work

Weight doesn’t seem to matter as much when you love your career. Working a job that is stimulating and fulfilling will diminish the less savory parts of your life. Should anyone question your fitness, just slot in the excuse that you’ve been so focused on your gratifying work that you haven’t had time to hit the gym or even think about that new diet.

Does Weight Matter to Women When Dating Conclusion

The major takeaway here is that confidence reigns supreme. If you’re happy with your life regardless of your weight, then a few extra pounds shouldn’t weigh you down. In fact, a confident overweight man can be even sexier than a confident fit man. Confidence is easily achieved when it looks like your abs have been photoshopped. But there’s nothing sexier than the casual confidence of a slightly overweight man.

Do you need more convincing that a chunky man can still find love? Looking to reach your dating goals this year? I’d love to help. Book a New Client 1-on-1 Skype session with me today and we’ll discuss your dating history, uncover anything else you might think it holding you back, create an action plan, and determine if my personalized 3 month Signature coaching program could help you reach your goals.