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She Wants To Take It Slow And See What Happens: What Does This Mean?

By Emyli LovzOctober 29, 2019Strategy
she wants to take it slow

She wants to take it slow and see what happens, eh? Well, there is no romantic 8-ball that you can consult for your romantic problems. Well, I mean, there is, it just doesn’t work. There is no obvious answer to what “taking it slow” means. If there was you wouldn’t be reading this. 

Her desire to take it slow can have different meanings depending on the stage of the relationship/courting phase. Let’s also remember that each woman is unique. Each one has a life outside of your relationship.

In this article, we’re going to try to neatly fit each situation into a certain category. But remember, she’s her own woman. She may desire to slow things down for a variety of reasons outside of the following. It’s your job to create a safe and understanding dynamic that promotes open communication. Once this is established, it’ll be easier to understand her reasons for slowing things down. 


She Wants To Take It Slow: Tells You Before You Meet Her

Does anyone else hear sirens going off? 

She wants to take it slow before even meeting you. To me, it sounds like she’s not interested in starting a relationship. If you are to start one with this woman, just getting her to meet you in a public place will be like pulling teeth. She has her reasons for wanting to take it slow. Accept them and let her be. However, if for some reason she intrigues you and you envision a far-fetched life with her that involves a white picket fence and various children, well then here’s how to court her. 

First, don’t let the conversation linger on seemingly without end on the dating app. As soon as possible, try scoring her phone number, Skype information, etc. Move the conversation away from the dating application. This is a form of getting your foot in the door. Having this small request met will increase the likelihood that other requests in the future are answered in the affirmative. Once you have her phone number or email you’re no longer some random dude from a dating app. In some sense, you’re taken more seriously. If she doesn’t want to meet up in person, propose that you have a first date via the phone. Set up a Skype or Zoom session video call. 

After the digital date, it’s time to transcend the confines of the screen and head for the great outdoors. Pitch her a super compelling TDL that you ask her during your digital date. Considering she’s apprehensive to see you, you’ll need to construct a once in a lifetime TDL. Learn how to craft a TDL that can’t be rejected in my 3-month Signature Program. Should she refuse to see you even after the first date you’ll need to consider your priorities. Do you want a pen pal that lives in the very same city as you or a girlfriend? 

Depending on how you presented yourself both in your profile and through your messages she could voice her desire to take it slow because she thinks you’re a Don Juan. Did you come off aggressive in your conversation? Are you shirtless in any of your profile pictures? “I want to take it slow” could be a euphemism for, “I won’t be touching your penis anytime soon.” This sentiment will be confirmed if she agrees to go on a date without having to pull any of her teeth. 

She Says She Wants To Take It Slow: On A First Date

The purpose of a first date is to feel each other and make her feel secure. It’s not to build loads of sexual tension, make-out, or to ask her to be your girlfriend. It’s these actions that will push her away. If she says she wants to take things slow on a first date, it’s probably because you’re giving her the creeps. She knows that explicitly telling you she wants to slow things down will discourage you from being creepy. 

You’ll have plenty of time to heat things up later on, but for now, keep your hands to yourself and make interesting conversation by offering up a few of these first date questions. Read her body language throughout the date to get a better idea of her feelings for you. She doesn’t always have to explicitly say that she wants to take things slow to convey the feeling. Does she create a barrier between the two of you with her body and objects or is she finding innocuous ways to touch you? If you’re having trouble deciphering what a flirty versus non-flirtatious touch looks like, it might be time to consult an expert

She Wants To Slow Down After The First Date

A lot can go wrong during the period between the first and second date. You may have the urge to inundate her with lovey-dovey texts, post first date. Don’t do it. Keep the conversation between the first and second date to a minimum. If you’re following the MegaDating blueprint you will have kept the first date under an hour and will have spent no more than $10. First dates are constructed in such a way so that you’re not investing a copious amount of time and money in a person that you don’t care for. It also allows for tension to build. If she liked you, a single hour with you won’t sate her. She’ll want more. Let this yearning for you build by keeping your hands off the keyboard between dates. 


The only messages permitted after a first date is a single message that shares with her how much you enjoyed your first date and that you’re looking forward to the next one. The only other permissible message is to confirm the second date. Learning that she wants to take things slow probably means that you’ve been nagging her with texts. There’s no need to pour out your soul via text so early in the relationship, it can only backfire for you.

A woman wants reassurance that the man courting her is worthy. You can confirm this by keeping your affection to yourself. A man that readily doles out his love for women he barely knows isn’t a man, he’s a fifth-grader that fawns over every girl that has yet to spit in his face. Revealing your feelings to her too early isn’t charming, it’s desperate

She Tells You to Pump the Brakes: After The Second Date

If the first date serves as a screening of sorts, the second is when you turn the heat up. You’ve both agreed to a second date. At the very least this means she finds you attractive enough to give you another chance to impress her. Sure, second dates are perfect for getting to know about her family, values, etc. But just as important as learning more about her is building sexual attraction.

Second dates are for helping her up a trail by holding her hand. They’re about resting your leg on hers as you show her a video on your phone. And of course second dates are perfect for opening a door for her while guiding her inside by placing your hand on her upper back. 

The message you receive after a second date should be one that elicits jubilation. To open your phone to find a text that asks to slow things down was probably unexpected. It’s likely this happened because you tried a bit too hard to spice things up. Perhaps you got too handsy, showered her with compliments, or spoke about a future together. If your attraction levels don’t align it’s likely that she’ll pull on the reigns in order to slow things down. Want to know how to efficiently escalate the relationship through touch? Let’s chat.  

She Tells You to Slow Down On The Third Date

If all goes according to the MegaDating plan, you’ll be having sex by the third date. If it doesn’t go to plan, you’ll be having dinner when she drops the “let’s take things slow” bomb. So what went wrong?

She still isn’t sure about you. You may think you escalated things nicely on the second date, however, she’s of another opinion. She’s not buying what you’ve offered her. But this can change in a matter of hours. Should she notify you of her feelings midway through the date you’ll have another couple hours to turn things around. Show her what’s been lacking. If you’ve established an open and uninhibited stream of communication, don’t be afraid to ask her why she wants to take it slow. Listen keenly and respond to her qualms appropriately.

Maybe she wants to take it slow for reasons that have nothing to do with you. Perhaps an old fling hurt her and she’s still recovering or maybe she’s got a curable STD that needs tending to before she can jump you in the sack. Guessing what her problem with you is can only ever be so accurate. Instead of circling the answer, prod her for a specific reason why she wants to slow things down. 

Wanting to take it slow doesn’t have to be understood as a bad thing. If she views you as a serious prospect she may avoid becoming sexual so as not to scare you off. Look, there are a plethora of reasons why she feels the way she does. Read her body language and ask her questions that will reveal why she’s not sold on you yet. 


You’ve Spent $500 on Dates with Her and She Still Wants to Take it Slow

$500 dollars, dozens of hours, and more dates than you want to admit have passed, yet still she isn’t into you. It’s not a thought you want to entertain but at this point it’s unavoidable. Is she using you for any reason? Does she want an IG boyfriend for the summer, just like expensive food, or is using your home to store her clothes while she moves? 

Look it can be tough to leave someone after investing so much time and money into them. But if you were wondering when the right time to stop seeing someone is, it’s after spending $500 on dates and then being told that she wants to move slow. Make sure this doesn’t happen by MegaDating. When you MegaDate you’ll meet a plethora of women in a short period of time. This ensures that within a short period of time you’ll find someone you form a strong connection with. 

Is falling for someone only to be friend-zoned or asked to slow things down a common occurrence in your dating life? If so it might be time to talk with a dating coach. In my 3-month Signature Program, you’ll learn what it takes to effectively flirt with women and create a meaningful relationship. Learning how to MegaDate, build sexual tension, mine social channels for dates, and create a killer dating app profile are just a few of the things you’ll learn when you enroll in my 3-month class.