It seems as though just a few years back, dating apps carried damning stigma. Revealing that you used a dating app was akin to admitting that you were socially inept or were on the prowl for a one-night stand. But in just a few short years, the amount of dating apps has abounded as well as their users. Nowadays very few if any dating apps are known as hookup apps, and that stigma that deterred you from signing up for one has all but vanished. Sure your parents may still give you a funny look when you tell them you met the girl you’re dating online, but even their friends are on Match.com and eHarmony. 

Much has changed since Tinder became available to all smartphone users back in 2013. But not all changes have been good. The more people that sign up for dating apps, the more dating fatigue is generated. Females complain that they’re being bombarded by unsolicited lascivious messages and men will complain that despite uploading puppy pics, no one is swiping right on them. 

With apps like Bumble and Tinder where a swiper will rarely find the bottom of the dating pool, users can feel like they’re drowning in the attempt to reach the bottom. 

Dating apps are like virtual bars packed to the brim with singles. We carry these digital bars with us in our pockets at all times so that swiping can occur whether on the toilet, at a family reunion, or even yes, at a real-life bar. These introductory apps inundate us with dating options that we can easily connect with, without fearing a face-to-face rejection. But all these pros might be the problem. The boons offered by dating apps have made us too reliant on them for our romantic needs. 

If you’re feeling burnt out or over-dependent on dating apps, take a step back. At least temporarily put your dating app use on hold and focus on more well-rounded apps that will still help you get the girl. With innumerable apps out there, technology shouldn’t be eschewed, in fact, it’s your best wingman. The following is a list of apps that will help you get a girlfriend that aren’t labeled as dating apps. 

Social Apps

Meetup

If you had three free hours this Sunday and could do anything you wanted to what would you do?

Perhaps you’d go rock climbing, paint a landscape, or do a little stand-up comedy. The issue is that your buddies and dates don’t always want to engage in those activities. If only there was a community full of people that shared your interests. With Meetup you’re able to find that community. 

Over 35 million people across the globe use Meetup. Open the app or website and you’ll find a wide variety of groups near you. If you don’t find a group of people meeting up that share your interest you can always start a new group. 

Meetup isn’t a dating app, but it is a social one. There’s no swiping right or left and no matches. If you want to join a group, quite often all you need to do is click a button and you’re accepted. 

As you’re beginning to notice, Meetup is kind of perfect for meeting women. Research shows that the misleading line that “opposites attract” is a falsehood. The more you have in common the more likely you are to create a bond with that person. This should be the starting point for meeting new people. Finding someone that shares your specific interest is difficult when you can’t filter through the infinite users on dating apps. But with Meetup you have that filter. 

Joining a Meetup group doesn’t guarantee that you’ll find eligible women. Users won’t mention their relationship status online, because this isn’t a dating app. But even if no one in your Meetup is single, at the very least you’ll hang out with people that you can easily bond with through your shared interest.

Let’s also not forget that expanding your social circle is also a great way to meet women. Just because there’s a dearth of attractive women in your Meetup doesn’t mean that your new friend doesn’t know a woman that’d be great for you. 

Couchsurfing/Hangouts

Remember when you were backpacking through Europe and were too broke to stay at hotels or even hostels? Back then Couchsurfing was probably your best friend. Not only did it enable you to stay at awesome places for free, but it also addressed the social need to connect with people while solo traveling. 

Yet since your backpacking days have ended you’ve forgotten about the app. But why? I’m not at all suggesting you open up your house to strangers, in particular females, with the hope of building a relationship with the females that stay at your home. 

That would be extravagantly creepy. 

Don’t use the app as a host or even as a guest. Instead, pay attention to the Couchsurfing events. These events are typically attended either by travelers or locals that just like using the app. Couchsurfer users are typically open-minded and ready to make friends. But if you don’t like any of the upcoming events, you can always find people willing to hangout via the aptly named app, Hangouts. 

Hangouts can be found within the Couchsurfing app. Typically travelers, but also locals will post a status and become available to hangout. To meetup with someone all you have to do is send them a virtual hello and begin conversing. It’s through this app that you’ll be able to meet unique groups of people that both live in the city or are just passing by. Hangouts is like the platonic version of Tinder. 

Remember that even if you don’t hit it off with the person you’re exploring town with, they might know someone that you’re compatible with. Expanding your social circle is never a bad idea when searching for a girlfriend. 

InterNations

This website/app targets expats. But even if you’re a local you can still use it. This app functions as a networking, social, and even dating app. If you’re looking to practice your Spanish, make professional connections in Germany, or you just want to swoon over a French accent, this app is right for you. 

Remember that it’s not a dating app, so conduct yourself accordingly. Don’t send licentious messages to foreigners that have just arrived and are now looking for a job. Be respectful and ease your way into a romantic encounter instead of explicitly broaching it. 

Instead of asking an individual out directly, try joining a group first. The groups here work very much the same way as in Meetup. Log onto the InterNations page and you’ll find groups pertaining to hiking, coding, movies and more. 

Instagram

I know what you’re thinking. Sliding into someone’s DM is sleazy and gross. Here’s the thing. It’s only sleazy and gross if you’re sending unsolicited sexual messages to women you don’t know. Although it doesn’t get much media attention, there is a gentlemanly way to connect with women via IG. 

First off, search for potential suitors via hashtags. If you’re into skiing or the great outdoors search with keywords that align with your interests. In this way, you’ll be able to filter out women that don’t share your interests. Once you’ve found a woman you’re interested in, send her a message that comments on your shared interest. If she’s into soccer, comment on one of her pics and ask her if she knows any pick-up soccer leagues in the area.

Using IG as an introductory app instead of Tinder has plenty of benefits. For one, most people check IG more often than their dating apps. IG also boasts 105 million monthly users in the states, while Tinder -the leading dating app in the US- has less than 8 million. With options aplenty, if you play your cards right, you’ll be able to find someone with ease. 

Misc. Apps

Not every app that helps you get the girl will be a social app. The following apps will indirectly improve your dating skills.

Strides

Do you know why Snapchat is so addicting?

Next to your Snapchat contacts, you’ll see a little number that indicates your snapchat streak. Breaking a streak feels awful. No one wants to break a streak. That’s why users will keep a mental list in the back of their minds of all the streaks they have going. They’ll make it a point to log into the app every day in order to send a snap to a friend and keep the streak going. 

It’s this same addictive strategy that makes Strides such a beneficial app. Strides is a self-improvement app that helps you accomplish your goals by creating habits. Let’s say you want to do 100 push-ups a day or meditate every day for a month. This app will help you get it done by creating streaks, reminders, and other means to prod you into accomplishing your goals. 

Photofeeler

Dating apps are superficial. Every single one of them. This being the reality, if you don’t have a quality line up of photos no one is going to swipe right on you. That’s just how it is. So what do you do? Well, you could allow a female friend to choose your photos or pay a photographer for a dating app specific photoshoot. Or you could just use Photofeeler.

This might just be the most beneficial app, not labeled a dating app on the list. This is how it works. 

First, you’ll upload a number of photos to the website. Then you’ll choose certain adjectives that you’ll want to be judged on. Perhaps you want to appear smart, trustworthy, or attractive in a photo. Once the photos have been uploaded and adjectives selected, other Photofeeler users will grade each photo on a 1-10 scale. Being that these users are anonymous they won’t complement each photo of yours as a friend might. With Photofeeler you’re receiving anonymous and honest feedback. 

Only upload photos to your dating apps that are judged to be an 8 or above. If you aren’t the most photogenic dude, perhaps considering asking a friend of yours to snap some pics of you during your next adventure. 

Headspace

Headspace is one of the most popular meditation apps on the market. Valued at $350 million and with 31 million users worldwide, Headspace is adding momentum to America’s adoption of meditation. But how can something like meditation help your dating prospects? 

Meditation can mitigate depression and anxiety while making you more caring and present. It improves mental health and will make you an all-around happier individual. Look, your date doesn’t want to go out with some sad dude that has low confidence and becomes anxious when talking with women. She wants a confident guy who listens to her and doesn’t check his phone during the date. 

Podcast Apps

Every dater’s biggest fear is an awkward moment of silence. It’s this break in conversation that leads to a flood of negative thoughts. Silence is okay, just not the awkward kind. Luckily, there’s a way to combat this fear. 

Podcasts are as varied as your local bookstore. Spotify, Pocket Casts, and Castbox are all replete with thousands of awesome podcasts. Listen to a podcast or two every day leading up to a date. Podcast are chock-full of weird information that will be useful to broach during a date. Want to appear knowledgeable, interesting, and never have a moment of silence during a date -use podcasts. 

I recommend listening to Planet Money, Radiolab, The Atlantic’s Daily Idea, and NPR News Now. These apps aren’t to be used in order to bring your attention away from dating, rather they can be used to give dating a fresh perspective.

Don’t allow tunnel vision to dictate your dating strategy. Becoming the optimal dating expert is something that technology can help us with. But if you need a more personal touch you should seek out a dating coach. Emyli offers personalized 1-on-1 coaching sessions that can be used to create a tailor-made dating plan. Book an appointment today to reboot your dating life.