What To Text Her After the First Date Including Examples

What to text her after the first date

While I understand you’ve arrived on this article because you want to know what to text her after the first date, the majority of what I’m about to tell you is why you actually shouldn’t. Texting between dates is dicey.

Too much communication, especially thoughtless, superficial messages (like the below examples) have the unintended consequence of sabotaging sexual attraction.

Example of a bad text after the first dateBad text to send a woman because it's basic AFWeak text message example to send a woman

If you’re repeatedly seeing text message conversations with women fizzle out, then you might be killing your mystery by over-communicating. Below are some strategies you can use to avoid smothering that initial spark.

What to Text Her After the First Date: 10 Strategies

#1: Close for the Second Date While You’re Still On the First Date

When you close for the second date while you’re still with her on the first date, it helps you to avoid texting in between dates.

Too much texting kills mystery, which is the foundation for sexual tension. If you text her a lot in between dates, she’ll begin feeling as though there’s nothing more to talk about and she won’t want to meet you for a second date (she may even flake on the date).

Frequent texting between dates makes it increasingly likely that she’ll flake on your next rendezvous or ghost you completely. If you failed to close for the second date while on the first date, then I’d recommend picking up the phone and calling her.

Having the courage to call a woman rather than texting her, demonstrates leadership, and it’s masculine and sexy. If she doesn’t answer, leave the following voicemail:

What to say on a voice message when you call her

And you’re done. Don’t overshare by telling her the reason for your call. The mystery you create by being intentionally vague and succinct elicits curiosity, imagination, and sexual tension.

Even if she doesn’t return the call, and opts to text you back instead, you still get points for having the courage to pick up the phone.

Doing this will set you apart from 99% of men who are too afraid to call. I know it’s scary but with high risk, comes high reward.

#2 Strategy for What To Text Her After the First Date: Message With Intent

If you have to text her, make sure you do so with the intent of getting on a date. When I review my clients’ messages during our weekly group calls, the most common problem I see is a lack of intent. Every message you send, whether it’s on a dating app or text message, should always and only have the intention of getting on the date.

In almost every coaching session, I find myself asking my clients, “what was the intent behind that message?” If their response is anything other than “to get on a date,” I remind them that their lack of intent is why they did not receive a response.

For example, there is no intent behind these two text messages:

Bad example of a text message after a first date

Message that you should not send after a first date

Messaging without intent is guaranteed to lose your audience’s attention, which leads to being ghosted. You’ll also get ghosted when you message without intent because it makes it difficult for a woman to respond.

If she doesn’t know what to say, she won’t respond, and you’ll destroy your chances of getting on that next date.

#3: Quit Texting And Call

I touched on this earlier, but it’s always better to call than to text. So much gets lost in translation over text because you can’t hear a person’s tone of voice, pitch, pacing, or inflection. Without these communication signals, it becomes difficult and often impossible to fully understand what someone means.

Pick up your phone and use it for what it was meant for — phone calls. Keep your call short and sweet. And only call with the intent of setting up the date.

There is no need to keep in touch with her between dates unless some weird situation is at hand like she’s going to Africa for three months and you won’t see her until she gets back.

Other than that, it’s fine to let the silence between you breed mystery. After all, mystery is the primary driver behind sexual tension. If you don’t want to get friend-zoned, quit trying to communicate with her ad nauseam.

Strategy #4: Give Her Space To Wonder About You

Don’t text her immediately following your date. I had a guy do this that I liked and it took me from 100% interested to 0% in the space of 2 seconds. You want to give her space to process the date you just had.

Allow her room to think about you, get curious about you, and then fill in the blanks in her mind using her imagination. When you give her space to wonder about you, her imagination will lead her into fantasyland, where you become a prince on a pedestal.

However, if you fill the silence with trivial text conversation, she’ll lose the space in her mind allotted for imagining you as prince charming.

#5 Strategy for Texting Her After The First Date

When your first date is complete, never text her to say how perfect or beautiful she was. Give her a little time to digest the date and consider how she feels about you.

Remember to always message with the intent of getting on the next date. Pretend like you’ve got a flip phone from 1996 and it doesn’t have text messaging features on it.

You’ll also want to avoid basic questions like:

Thoughtless text messages to send women after a date

In addition, you never want to call a woman out when she doesn’t respond to you. Here’s a couple of examples: Don't call out bad behavior in your text message after a dateWhat not to text her after a first date

 

If she hasn’t responded or she did something that bothers you, don’t mention it. You catch more bees with honey, and that’s especially true in texting.

That said, don’t reward her lack of response urgency by being a doormat. The caveat here is if you can call her out in a funny, playful way. A way that shows your value. A way that shows her you don’t take yourself too seriously. This guy did a great job:Funny text after a first date when she ghosts

This message shows me that this man isn’t overly sensitive, stuffy, or clingy. All woman want a guy who can make light of things that would piss most people off. Demonstrating a sense of humor, especially in the face of rejection, is always charming.

#6: Use A Re-Engagement Line

If you think she’s ignoring you after the first date, re-engage her with a message that uses her name and incites an emotional response.

For example, let’s say you’ve tried TDLing her twice and she hasn’t responded. Yet you know she was responsive earlier in the conversation.

Try this:

Re-engagement text when she doesn't respond

Or you could say something like:

Then wait for her to respond (up to 48 hours and then if she doesn’t send a follow-up message).funny text to send when she doesn't respond

Wait for her to respond, but if she doesn’t within 2 hours try…

follow up text to send when she doesn't respond

While this message won’t guarantee a response, using her name is far more likely to re-engage her. Everyone’s favorite word is their name.

A person’s name is the most powerful word you can use to capture attention and compel a response. If you’ve lost her, use a last-ditch message with her name to give yourself the best opportunity for a response.

#7: If You Had Good Chemistry and Excellent Trust and Rapport

Let’s say you were already smoochin’ on the first date and there was a ton of trust and rapport right off the bat. Then, and only then would I send a flirty text to boost sexual tension before the second date.

Usually, I’d recommend saving the racy texts until after the second date, but if things went insanely well on the first date, you could try using one of the following messages to boost the sexual tension.

Sexy text to send after a good dateSexy text example

If you’re feeling particularly brave, you could try one of these:

Flirty text message to send a womanSexy message to send a woman

Once she responds, you could follow up with:

Follow up message

Again, use these messages strategically, and only after you’ve built a solid foundation of trust and rapport. Otherwise, they may be too suggestive for your current relationship phase.

#8 Strategy for What To Text After The First Date: If You’re Not Interested

I always recommend following the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” What this means for me is, if I don’t like someone, then I don’t reach back out. I, personally, see no use in sending an unsolicited rejection message. Chances are if I wasn’t feeling them, then they weren’t feeling me either.

What I would suggest is that you practice not saying something you don’t mean, like, “I’ll call you,” or “I’ll be in touch.”

My favorite college professor taught me to always “Say what you mean and mean what you say.” Powerful words to live by, especially in dating. If you don’t feel good about ghosting her, then consider how you would want to be rejected, and say that.

Acknowledge how it would feel if the tables were turned. At the same time, try not to be overly naive. Chances are that if you don’t want to see her again, she probably doesn’t want to see you again either. It’s not worth forcing something that doesn’t feel good. You honestly might just want to let it go and fade out.

#9: Who Should Reach Out First?

You should. As the man, you’re the hunter. She wants you to pursue her, and ultimately, I bet you do too.

Don’t be like 99% of men by sending a text message. Follow this strategy if you didn’t close for the second date while on the first date:

  1. Plan out a compelling second date, if you haven’t already closed for it on the first date.
  2. When you’re three days out from this epic date idea, call her up and pitch her on the idea.

On the flip side, if you closed for the second date while on the first, then just give her a call the day before to confirm.

If you closed for the second date weeks in advance, then call her 3 days before to confirm and give her logistical information she’ll need in order to meet you.

#10: How Long Should You Wait To Text Her?

You should only reach out when you’re ready to invite her on a date. If you’ve already done that while on the first date, then all you need to do is confirm the date the day beforehand, assuming there’s not a long gap in time between dates.

If there is, just call her three days before with information about the upcoming date.

Conclusion

And now you know exactly what to text her after the first date including examples you can use right away. Remember that, whenever you can, it’s important to close for the second date while you’re still with her on the first date.

Additionally, when messaging, always and only message with intent, but if you can avoid it, I highly recommend that you call her rather than texting back and forth.

And once you’ve completed that magical first date, give her the space she needs to get curious about you. Don’t forget to avoid the common mistakes most men make in texting after the first date.

Examples include calling her out for not replying to your message, sending a message with zero intent, or telling her how perfect she is.

If she stops responding, try a re-engagement line that utilizes her first name.

Pro-tip: Everyone’s favorite word is their own name. Avoid sending racy texts after a first date unless you have mind-blowing chemistry, trust, and rapport. If you do all that, I’m confident you’ll get ghosted less and go on second dates more.

Dating Decoded

If you’re still having trouble grasping these concepts, there’s hope. I work with men every day who are struggling with what to say to a woman after a first date.

There are a few ways we teach men messaging strategy.

Our online curriculum is full of granular lessons that walk you through the art of chatting a woman up online. Whether that be sliding into her DMs, chatting her up via Tinder, or asking her out on a second date via text. 

We also tackle this obstacle via live strategy sessions.

Twice a week we offer students the chance to review their messages live. During coaching calls students have the chance to present messages they’ve sent or will send so they can be reviewed by coaches. During this sessions we’ll break down what is and isn’t working and will then help you press the send button. We realize that dating is dynamic and every interaction has its own unique set of nuances, that’s why we use such a custom approach to messaging.

But hey, if you can’t wait for our coaching session, post your message on our private community.

Here students and coaches alike will have the chance to read and help you refine your messaging strategy. We offer real-time support between 9-6 PST, Monday through Friday.

Dating Decoded offers lifetime message reviews as well as lifetime membership.

You can book a new client session with me here to chat more about your unique situation and get actionable advice unique to your situation.

If you want to know what our students think of our program, just check out these testimonials or the reviews below.

20 Dating Me is Like Hinge Prompt Responses for Guys

dating me is like

Give a single man the option to create his dating profile from scratch and chances are it won’t look like much.

Perhaps a selfie or two and a line about how much he likes The Office.

Profiles like these are the scourge of online dating.

More often than not you see them on Tinder and apps where users aren’t required to talk about themselves.

Addressing the superficiality of online dating, Hinge “the dating app designed to be deleted” requires users to answer three prompts.

The purpose of these prompts is to humanize the user by telling fellow singles who they are, what they’re into, and other general information.

This is Hinge’s attempt to pitch itself as a dating app that’s actually designed to find you a romantic partner.

But of course, it isn’t just the in-depth profiles that make Hinge the go-to app to find a long-term partner. It has plenty of aspects that set it apart from other dating apps.

Things like:

— Nobel prize-winning compatibility algorithm

— Limited likes (10 a day)

— Your Turn anti-ghosting feature that reminds users to respond to a message

— Date feedback (Hinge claims 3/4 dates report wanting to see the person they went on a date with)

But this article isn’t about their amazing algorithm or detailed filters.

It’s about creating an answer to a dating prompt that’s so amazing it’s guaranteed to be liked.

The prompt we’re featuring is the “Dating me is like…” prompt.

“Dating Me Is Like…” Hinge Prompt

Prompts give you a space to show off your personality.

No woman will like your content if she doesn’t get a sense of who you are.

A prompt is the perfect opportunity to make her giggle while telling her more about yourself. It’s this combination that will endear her to you and all but guarantee that she’ll “heart” what you wrote.

1) Definition Of Serendipity

dating me is like

Has that ever happened to you before?

When you hear a song at the coffee shop but it finishes before you can Shazam it. Then you go home to look it up but you still can’t find it. Weeks go by and you think you’ll never find it until one day a friend of yours plays it in the car.

By some miracle, you’ve been reunited with this long-lost song.

That feeling is luck+magic is what it feels like dating this person.

This response will certainly hit home for music lovers.

2) Be More Than She Anticipated

dating me is like

Unexpected, romantic, and more than she can handle (but in a good way).

This is what all women want from a romantic partner.

She also wants to feel as though the gods look upon her with love and compassion. With this prompt response, the user is guaranteeing her that she’ll be looked after, thought after, and treated like a queen.

3) Call An Audible

dating me is like

Life is full of plenty of twists and turns.

At first, you think one route is surely better than the other before calling an audible and realizing that in fact, the less trodden route was the better choice all along.

Life’s full of adjustments and canceled plans. Convince her that you’re the right guy to ride the wave with her.

A response like this while vague captures a feeling.

Look she’s tried of reading boring, cliche prompt responses. She wants something she can see and feel.

This is the perfect response to elicit emotion and prompt a like. Just make sure and spell “your” correctly!

4) An Nice Surprise

dating me is like

First of all name dropping kettle corn is always a good idea.

Secondly, this shows that perhaps you’re not the guy she would’ve imagined herself with. You’re speaking to her hesitancy with this response. Not only this but you’re doing so in a creative and cute way.

You’re surely be awarded for being creative.

5) Is It Though?

dating me is like

When in doubt use a little humor.

Make her laugh, giggle, or even smirk and chances are she’ll tap that like button.

If you don’t think ladies are DiCaprio fans (which btw you’d be wrong) just swap out a celebrity you think they’re into.

6) We’re All Addicted To Something

dating me is like

Not all addictive substances are illegal.

You’ll be like that earworm she just can’t get rid of.

The one she thinks about before she goes to sleep, when she wakes up, and when she’s with her friends, vomiting feelings of infatuation.

Comparing yourself to a song is never a bad call. Make your comparison stick in her head. Make her see, feel and understand what being with you will look like with the help of concrete images.

7) We’re All Addicted To Something Pt. 2

dating me is like

Netflix knows what it’s doing the same way you do… at least that’s how you’re going to frame yourself.

She wants to see what’s going to happen next. Your relationship will be cinematic and addicting but she’ll always have the power to back out when she wants to. She’ll always have the respect and control needed to make her own decisions.

Although despite that power she’ll still want to stick it out with you and see how it all turns out.

She just can’t look away.

8) Dive In Head First

dating me is like

Remember when you were a kid hanging out at your first hotel?

As a right of passage, you had to hang in the jacuzzi for a while before jumping into the pool.

It’s a sensation so disparate, so nostalgic, so refreshing it’s been seared into all our memories.

When you tell her that dating you is like this she’ll immediately know what you mean.

Her mind will go back to that pool in her hotel when she was just a kid.

This time however she’ll now associate you with the sensation.

…or maybe she won’t.

What she will do however is thank you for allowing her to reminisce. She may also thank you for it by liking your Hinge prompt.

That my friend is how it’s done.

9) Tell Her The Truth

dating me is like

There are two popular approaches guys will take on Hinge.

Either they’ll answer a prompt boasting about their achievements or they’ll write a crappy two-word response.

This is the less-trodden path of actually telling her the truth.

It’s a light-hearted mockery of everyone’s attempt to appear perfect.

10) The Polarizing Exaggeration

dating me is like

Few Hinge users will downplay their awesomeness.

Few Hinge users will also talk junk about politics.

Sometimes combining the pair can make for a lethally sexy combination as is the case above.

Never be afraid to flex a potentially polarizing opinion on a dating app.

Doing so will attract those that share the opinion and repel those that don’t. That’s your goal.

Why attract someone that has nothing in common with you? There’s a reason your profile isn’t sprinkled with references to conspiracy theories and bigfoot.

11) The Right Mistake (How is this not the title of a T-Swift song?)

dating me is like

When it comes to online dating many men feel like they need to go big or go home.

Some, however, can go big and then go home with a beautiful Hingerella in tow.

It’s fairytale lines like these that will have some women shaking their heads while others will surely fall under your spell.

Look you never know what’s going to happen when you log into Hinge.

Convince her with this line that while perhaps you’re not necessarily her first choice you are the right choice.

12) Never Drake And Drive

dating me is like

Can you capture a feeling of youth and freedom in just a few words?

When working with this medium you’ll need to be able to pack a punch with just a few words.

Channel your inner Hemingway and write out 5-10 responses for every prompt.

Experiment, edit, revise, and post.

When penning your Hinge prompt responses you should think of yourself as a laconic novelist whose sole audience are single women in your area.

13) Monotony Was Meant To Be Disrupted

dating me is like

Damn.

Don’t you want a girlfriend that wakes up one morning, calls you and convinces you to call in sick to hit up an amusement park three hours away?

If you don’t you need to reprioritize your life.

Like now.

What is her life going to look like while dating you?

Tell her.

Don’t be afraid of getting nerdy or weird about your life. Who knows she might be up for dating a weirdo.

14) Peanut Butter & France

dating me is like

It’s an odd combination.

So odd she might have to ask you about it.

That’s the point.

The objective of your response is to spark a conversation. If she likes a response and messages you, your prompt answer should be considered a success.

And as far as peanut butter and sriracha sandwiches go, don’t knock it before you try it.

15) The Curveball

dating me is like

There’s no doubt she’ll raise an eyebrow after reading this.

Will she swipe right?

That’s another question.

What’s important is that she pays attention to what you write.

If she read the entirety of this response, chances are she’ll read another.

16) MODERNAAAA!!!

dating me is like hinge prompt

So basically like a massive weight has just been lifted and you can finally live your life again after a year and a half of jigsaw puzzles.

That’s dope.

17) Puppy Eyes All Day Every Day

dating me is like hinge prompt

Paint her an image.

There might be no cuter image than wandering around a dog shelter trying to make a connection with a pup.

Then you lock eyes and know that you’ve found your new best friend.

18) I’m Talking Bread, Bagels, Crepes, Pancakes, and Even Carrots

dating me is like hinge prompt

Think of something super awesome that everyone has experienced.

Maybe it’s graduating college, getting a promotion, listening to your favorite band live, etc.

Capture that moment and then say, dating me is like (insert universally loved moment).

It’s an easy formula, now get to flirting!

19) Dawwwww

dating me is like hinge prompt

If a woman doesn’t feel comfortable with you, she isn’t going to date you.

These prompts can go a long way in making her feel like she knows you if you make them work for you. That means showing her your funny, yet loving side. Tell her you’re a loveable weirdo is the right way to go about mitigating any worry that you might kidnap her and sell her organs.

20) Love Is Like The Wind, You Can’t See It But You Can Feel It

dating me is like hinge prompt

When in doubt, write something that stands out.

Even if you’re not 100% sure it accurately portrays you or if it’s funny, or if she’ll like it.

That’s fine.

The worst thing you can do is play it safe. There are so many freakin’ men on dating apps you need to do something a bit out there in order to stand out.

To learn just what standing out looks like, check our out program, Dating Decoded.

Now What?

Now it’s time to steal, cheat, get inspired, and write Hinge responses of your own.

Again, all of the responses above are 100% original. That means you can steal them and most likely be the only person on the entire app to inform the ladies of Hinge that “Dating me is like walking into the wrong movie theater and staying because, well, you can’t imagine how the other movie could be any better.” 

If these lines aren’t right for you and you’re struggling to write swipe-worthy lines of your own, I have a solution.

It’s called Dating Decoded.

It’s a dating program we’ve spent 10 years developing. It teaches men the A,B,Cs of modern dating.

That means you’ll learn how to:

  • Shoot and choose photos that make you stand out
  • Send opening messages that get responses
  • Chat it up online so well that you’re guaranteed to score a phone number
  • Set up amazing first, second, and third dates

Students will learn everything there is to know about dating and more via our four learning pathways:

  • Online Curriculum
  • Mock Dates
  • Strategy Sessions
  • Online Community

Book a 1-on-1 Zoom call with myself or a member of my team to learn how emlovz can help you reach your dating goals in record time.