Day: August 22, 2022

What are the top 15 dating red flags to look for in a woman? When we think about “dating red flags”, it’s easy to assume that things would be super easy to spot.

A red flag that involves someone screaming or unloading all their baggage on a first date is definitely something that can send you running immediately, but several other dating red flags aren’t so conspicuous.

Lucky for you, having coached close to 1000 clients, I am here to break down the top dating red flags — from the most blatant to obscure.

Top Dating Red Flags in a Woman

#1: She Love Bombs You

In case you’re unfamiliar with the term, “love bombing” is a manipulative technique where a person you have just started dating will be overwhelmingly affectionate towards you. Some people call it the “saying I love you too soon red flag.”

People who love bomb will coax you to get really serious about the relationship fast — as in, they may want to put an exclusive label on the relationship in as little as a couple weeks. They may say “I love you” prematurely, describe you as their “soulmate” or “destiny” and wax poetic about how they’ve never felt for anyone the way they feel for you, even though you haven’t known each other for very long.

It can be easy to ignore this red flag when you’re infatuated with someone and may even find this type of extreme affection to be endearing.

But this honeymoon phase will end abruptly when the love bomber shows you her true colors. She could become angry, deceitful and controlling, and a relationship with a love bomber is the type of emotional rollercoaster you’ll want to exit IMMEDIATELY.

Sometimes love bombing is the result of infatuation or insecurity and can come from someone who does not have the maturity or is simply ill-equipped to move forward in a healthy way with a relationship. At its most insidious, love bombing can be a manipulative technique used by emotional abusers, including sociopaths.

Red Flag #2: She Has Trouble Regulating Her Emotions

She may describe herself as “passionate,” but her constantly fluctuating emotions may leave you with quite a different descriptor — like “unstable” or “bats**t insane.”

If she becomes angered easily, dissolves into tears frequently or has other types of episodes that show signs of emotional instability, the healthiest decision is to not let the relationship progress further. If you are using my MegaDating strategy, it won’t be too difficult to let her go.

Red Flag #3: She’s Jealous

Everyone gets jealous from time to time and in some circumstances, jealousy can even be a good thing. For example, if your girlfriend has a platonic friend who was constantly flirting with her or behaving in a way that made you feel disrespected, your jealousy may motivate you to have a conversation with your girlfriend about what you consider appropriate and inappropriate friend behavior.

It can help you create healthy boundaries in a relationship and improve communication.

Unhealthy jealousy is a type of jealousy that occurs when your partner becomes irrationally jealous, to the point that they:

-Want to control you

-Want to know a play-by-play of everything you do

-Don’t want you spending time anywhere or with anyone without them

-Constantly accuse or suspect you of cheating

-Ask you to behave in certain ways that they deem acceptable

-Gets jealous of ANY female friendships and may even demand that you only be friends with other men

-Constantly call and text you and become angered if you don’t immediately respond

Red Flag #4: She Bashes Her Exes

Ahh, bashing exes – one of my favorite dating red flags in a woman.

Sure, plenty of us (most, even) have had some bad breakups, and not everyone looks back at an ex with fond memories or even something remotely resembling well wishes. But if the girl you’re dating describes all of her exes as “crazy,” and goes on and on about how terrible they are, that’s a definite red flag.

Even bad relationships teach us something and can help us grow. If she is emotionally invested in hating her ex, it could be a sign that she is lacking maturity or could still be hung up on her relationship.

Red Flag #5: She Very Recently Got Out Of a Relationship

If she just got out of a serious relationship or recently got divorced that can be a red flag.

It’s good for people to take some time to heal after a serious relationship, and — although there’s a chance she was able to move on quickly — it’s not that common.

Red Flag #6: She Lies

This one is pretty straightforward. Good relationships are built on a solid foundation of friendship, intimacy and trust. If you can’t trust her, a relationship is going to be pretty much a no-go.

Red Flag #7: She Has a History of Cheating

There is a difference between someone who messed up once by being unfaithful, and a serial cheater.

According to a study published in Nature Neuroscience people who cheat repeatedly feel less and less guilty about it each time. Basically, a part of your brain called the amygdala adapts to cheating by issuing a weaker and weaker negative response each time the cheater lies — which is nice for the cheater but super sucky for everyone else.

People who have narcissistic personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder also tend to cheat repeatedly due to an inability to feel compassion or empathy for others.

So yeah, regardless of the reason, it’s best to steer clear of cheaters. This is one of the most harmful dating red flags – so be careful with cheaters.

Red Flag #8: She Has a Bad Work History

Has she been repeatedly fired from jobs? Does she not get along with her coworkers? Does she show signs of disrespect toward authority?

Although it may seem like her professional life shouldn’t affect your personal life, the way she conducts herself at work can be a reflection on how she treats other people overall, as well as things like taking responsibility for her actions and handling conflict.

Red Flag #9: She’s Bad With Her Finances

Someone who is responsible with their finances shows that they are good at handling things independently, are mature and can handle challenges.

If she has serious financial issues (i.e., excess spending despite being in massive credit card debt), it’s a big red flag. Remember that regardless of who ends up being the breadwinner in a relationship, financial responsibilities are shared when you move in with someone, marry someone and/or start a family.

Red Flag #10: She’s Rude to Waitstaff and Doesn’t Tip Well

NEVER trust the person that is mean to the waiter, especially if it happens more than once. Treating a waiter poorly can be a sign that the person you’re dating has a dark, bullying side that will eventually come out on you.

Red Flag #11: She Demeans You With Sarcasm, Jokes and Backhanded Comments

Although it’s normal to argue from time to time in relationships, when someone makes a habit of demeaning or ridiculing you, that’s a big red flag.

Sarcasm in a relationship can be especially pernicious since the partner can easily pass off any hurtful remarks as “a joke.” But according to Dr. Clifford N. Lazarus of Psychology Today, sarcasm is sometimes “hostility disguised as humor.”

Red Flag #12: She Bashes Friends

Getting along with your friends should be a priority for her and vice versa. If she is condescending and mean toward your friends or talks badly about them to you, this can be a big red flag.

And if she is mean about her own friends, that also can be a sign of a disingenuous personality that you don’t want to be around.

Red Flag #13: She’s Rude to Your Family

This is like number 12 but A LOT worse. Someone who doesn’t get along with your family and makes a point to be rude to them can cause you and your loved ones a great deal of emotional strife.

It’s a red flag and shows that this person does not have respect or consideration for you.

Red Flag #14: She Shows Signs of Serious Substance Abuse Issues

Sure, a lot of us like to go out and get loose every so often — but are her “wild nights” every night? If she shows signs of alcoholism and/or drug abuse, it will be impossible to have a successful romantic relationship until after she has received treatment.

Several treatment options are available, as well as free 24/7 hotlines to direct people to appropriate help. Ultimately, acknowledging an issue and choosing to get help will be up to her.

Red Flag #15: She Is Extremely Secretive About Her Past

Don’t let the allure of mystery keep you from recognizing what could be one of the most serious dating red flags. There are several reasons a person may not want to talk too much about their past — particularly during the very early stages of a relationship — but if they are continually secretive and/or defensive when it comes to their past, there could be some dark stuff there.

Dating Red Flags Wrap-up and How Not To Settle

I hope my dating red flags checklist helped you learn a bit about the types of women to stay away from.

A lot of times we ignore simple red flags because — on a subconscious level — we don’t feel like there is anyone else out there, and we choose to settle for the mediocre.

But you don’t have to thanks to a great dating strategy known as MegaDating.

MegaDating is a dating process that involves dating several people at one time in order to diffuse energy and increase self-confidence. When you’re dating multiple people, you see firsthand that there are plenty of fish in the sea. This strategy also helps you weed out people that show red flags.

But how are you supposed to meet all these new women?

In our best in class coaching program, Dating Decoded we’ll teach you how to leverage online dating (and offline dating) to find these women.

Team up with us and you’ll learn:

• How to MegaDate
• To create an online dating profile that performs in the top 10% of men your age
• How to effectively message women on dating apps and social media that guarantees more responses and dates
• How to structure first, second, and third dates so you escalate sexual tension appropriately (without being too forward or too passive)

Dating Decoded is a comprehensive dating program that includes 2x weekly coaching calls (with yours truly), a constantly updated online curriculum, a private student only community where you can get coaching and support in between the live coaching calls, and much more!

Want to get started? Book a new client 1-on-1 Zoom session with me or one of my other coaches today. During our intro session, we will discuss your dating roadblocks and come up with an action plan to help you achieve your dating goals.

Right now, it may feel like the dating scene has been rigged.

That Cupid has gone MIA and that dating apps don’t work, they’re just part of this massive conspiracy the universe has concocted to ensure you live out your Friday nights at home binging The Office for the umpteenth time.

I get it. 

Hundreds of men have come to me because they’re down on their romantic luck.

They haven’t had a date in months or years, get one decent match every 5 weeks (spoiler; she’s a bot), and have zero romantic prospects on the horizon.

Yet invariably, after two or three weeks in our program, Dating Decoded, something starts to change.

After a few short weeks of meeting guys like them, digesting our trainings, and applying what they’ve learned from our twice-weekly coaching calls, students have more confidence, more optimism than ever, and most importantly are dating again.

Our dating coach service has been continuously refined for a decade now.

We at emlovz know what women want. We’re a dating agency primarily founded and run by women. We have unique insight into the mind of the exact females you’re pursuing. More importantly, we know which skills you need to find single, super compatible women.

A dating coach service like ours is hugely beneficial to those that enroll with us (as our students will gladly tell you).

Let’s dive into what makes a dating coach service like ours so life-changing for a guy like you.

emlovz, You’re New Dating Coach Service

So what makes our dating service so great?

Let’s dive in.

Helps You Avoid Gold-diggers, Narcissists, Psychopaths, and More

Our program uses various teaching mediums to help you understand women.

Our most prized mediums include weekly coaching calls (with me) and an extensive online curriculum.

In both these mediums, we focus on quickly identifying red flags. Flags so red and wavey you can see them from the safety of your couch as you swipe through the ladies of Bumble.

During the beginning stage of our program, we help you analyze why you’ve selected toxic partners in the past. We help you understand what most attracts you to them and how to create a new paradigm that sees you chasing after healthier partners.

Imagine how much time, money, and mental well-being you’ll be able to save by identifying red flags before you decide to go on a date.

One of our students, John M, knows exactly what it’s like to rush into a bad relationship and how relieving it can be to be able to identify red flags early on in a relationship.

Learn Where to Go to Meet Women & What To Say

Sometimes it feels as though you’re living in a romantic desert.

That may really be the case if you live in San Francisco or San Jose (aka Man Jose), but apart from just a handful of cities, the gender ratio is often quite balanced.

The issue is that many men just don’t know how to meet women or how to approach them.

In our program, we’re proponents of MegaDating.

MegaDating is a dating philosophy that argues the best way to meet a super compatible woman is to date prolifically. But how in the world could we support this philosophy when we don’t show men how to meet women?

In our program, you’ll learn how to mine both online dating apps and your social circles to find these women.

But just because you know where they’re located doesn’t mean you know how to chat them up.

We’ll teach you the most effective openers to use when you cross paths with your ideal woman.

Helps You Save Time & Money

Sometimes you have to spend to save.

Sounds backward, but in reality, emlovz is an investment. An investment in your romantic happiness.

Learning the dos and donts of dating now will help you save thousands that you would have otherwise spent on going out with incompatible women or by hiring a matchmaker.

But don’t take our word for it, listen to our student Kevin.

“Great program. Super practical and adapted to the real world of dating apps and modern dating. I thought I knew how to date based on best practices me and my guy friends shared, but Emyli’s perspective is unique and well thought-through. She brings a woman’s perspective but focused on data, repetition, and process. If you’re willing to spend thousands of dollars a year on drinks and dates but not willing to pay for a dating coach, re-evaluate your priorities.”

Helps You Get Better Matches on Dating Apps

By working with an expert who knows how to design an effective dating profile, you become able to attract higher-quality matches.

The dating apps are designed to show you people at your relative market value. They do this by using what’s known as an ELO score (aka, you’re desirability score) and if you don’t know how to set up your dating profile, chances are your ELO score may be low, which means you are not seeing the quality of women you’d like to see.

That doesn’t mean those gorgeous, smart, funny, talented women aren’t on the apps, you’re just not seeing them.

That’s where I come in.

In my program, I teach my students how to craft a competitive dating profile that’s performing in the top 10% of all single men, which helps them match with women they’re super excited about.

Craft Messages That Win Responses & Dates

In dating, you have to have a strategy.

If you approach messaging the same way 99% of men do, you won’t get anywhere. The “hey, hi, how are you, hola, how was your weekend” bit isn’t working because the apps are saturated with male users all vying for the attention of the most attractive women.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t win, you just need to know how to stand out. In my program, I teach my students how to master the art of messaging using my MegaMessaging formula so they don’t get ghosted, friend zoned, or have their conversations fizzle out before getting on the dates.

Feel Better Prepared to Handle Any Dating Situation

Improve your understanding of women, relationships, and the dating world. Gain insights into the female mind that help you think from a different perspective (especially if you work with a female dating coach, like myself).

In our twice-weekly live coaching sessions, we’ll dive into the granularity of every interaction you may have or have had on a date. We’ll analyze what you did correctly and what can be improved on. We’ll prepare for every situation.

The dynamic live classes are perfect for understanding the nuance of each and every interaction you have while MegaDating.

Feel Better Prepared to Handle Any Dating Situation

Improve your understanding of women, relationships, and the dating world. Gain insights into the female mind that help you think from a different perspective. This is especially the case when you work with our female coaches. 

Our weekly sessions are dynamic and allow for students to broach real-life obstacles they’re having. Together we’ll talk in-depth about these situations and guide you through them.

Our online curriculum also explores a myriad of topics that’ll prepare you for whatever situation you’re faced with.

Here’s Max talking about the many areas we cover in our program.

You’re Not Alone

In a dating coach service like mine, you get a mentor and group of people who really care about your success. It’s nice to not have to reinvent the wheel in dating, instead, why not learn from someone who’s been there and done that and have an entire community of like-minded single men to talk to and share your dating experience with. We’ll even pair you up with an accountability buddy if you like. 

Every person in our program is in the same boat and has access to an online platform where they can talk strategy, get coaching, share wins, bond and even meet up in real life.

Studies show that peer sharing produces faster and more effective results than going at it alone.

Develop an Abundance Mindset

If you haven’t scored a date in a while you’re probably thinking there’s a romantic drought taking place.

A 1 in a 1,000-year drought that’s only impacting your romantic life.

That’s not true. I mean sure it feels that way but there are plenty of single women out there, you just need to learn how to find them.

At emlovz we don’t just show you how to meet women, we show you how to mine your social circles so you’re going on multiple dates every week.

We improve your online dating game, show you where to meet women in person, as well as how to approach them and ask them out.

No more settling for the first woman to smile in your direction. Our best in class dating coach services will help you ditch the scarcity bias that compels you to shack up with anyone you date.

Gain Confidence

If I’m being honest, probably the most successful attribute of men that do well with women is confidence.

They could be dorky, make bad jokes, and occasionally have BO, but if they’re confident, those other traits will be looked past.

More than anything, confidence gives you the strength to approach, to make an effort, and say hello. Just greeting a woman you don’t know is often the hardest part of flirting. A confident man has no problem doing this.

We take men low in confidence, immerse them in our program, and roll out men brimming with the courage to ask out any woman.

Just ask Darioush.

Become More Attractive to Women

This is what all men want right?

To strut their stuff around a bar or party and have women turn their heads.

In our dating coach service we teach men how to turn up the heat.

From showing them how to make physical contact to picking the best date spots we know what it takes to quickly build attraction and connect with women.

Whether it’s making a great first impression online or IRL we cover all aspects of winning a woman’s fancy.

We even have a sex & intimacy coach on staff — so when you do get her back to your place — you know exactly what to do to make her come back for more.

Speed Up Your Results And Attract Your Dream Girl Fast

You can keep on doing what you’re doing and you might have success.

It’s totally possible that you go a couple of dates every few months and eventually meet your lifetime partner. You two may or may not be PB&J compatible, but hey, you make it work.

That’s one option.

But that option is too slow.

The other option is to date women simultaneously and to go on so many dates you’ll have to stack them on top of each other.

Dating around exposes you to more personalities, helps you refine what you like, and will connect you to more compatible women than you can imagine.

The former option is like trying one or two flavors. The latter is like hitting up Costco for free samples and getting a little taste of their entire inventory.

Avoid Getting Too Attached Too Soon and Feeling Needy, Desperate or Clingy

A happy byproduct of dating around (MegaDating we call it here) is that you’ll never settle. You’ll never feel like there’s a scarcity of women out there and that you have to throw all your eggs in one basket.

You may have felt the need to cling in the past because you were afraid that if your budding relationship didn’t work out you’d be alone forever.

Do away with that sensation when you team up with your new dating coach service designed for men.

Get Feedback About What You’re Doing Right & Wrong

Women rarely give feedback about why they don’t want to see you again.

It’s not like you can ask them to fill out a survey at the end of a date and provide detailed feedback.

But here at our dating coach service, we do just that.

In our program Dating Decoded we offer mock dates where you can get direct and honest feedback about your presentation, conversation, flirting, and sexual escalation skills so you know exactly what areas are working for you and what areas can be improved. We also offer celebrity style sessions where you can get feedback from our celebrity stylist about your fashion and how women are receiving you and learn tips on how to increase your sex appeal with your wardrobe.

We Make Dating Fun

Create bucket list date ideas, go on new adventures that you’ve never been on before, and adopt an experimental mindset so you stop viewing dating as a chore and start enjoying the dating journey.

After a couple of weeks in our class and after a couple of dates you’ll start to gain confidence, you’ll feel the support of your fellow students, and soon dating will turn into your new favorite hobby.

Reduces Social Anxiety

Most of my students start the program preferring to give a 15-minute public speech in front of 300 people instead of approaching a woman at a party.

They were terrified of women.

But knowing what to do, how to do it, and having the support of a mentor and community plays a huge hand in reducing dating anxiety. 

As discussed we offer mock dates to address your fear of dating and to help you refine some of your dating skills. But in our classes, we also go over every single aspect of in-person dating. This way once you’re out there on a date you feel much more relaxed because you’ve prepared for every situation.

But most importantly we teach you how to MegaDate. MegaDating exposes you to so many women that soon enough you’ll feel at ease chatting up any woman.

Helps You Get Back in the Dating Game When You Don’t Know What To Do

If you just got out of a long-term relationship or marriage, the dating landscape has changed considerably.

Dating apps dominate, approaching women in person requires more tact than ever, and COVID-19 has changed how we interact with women.

It can feel like learning how to swim all over again.

Our program addresses how to date in this modern world.

We show you how to use the apps effectively, chat women up regardless of the context, and secure a date using a TDL.

Dating has changed, and our program has changed with it.

Let us welcome you back into the dating scene and give you a leg up on the competition.

Get Advice from Someone Who Has What You Want

A lot of people have opinions about how you should live your romantic life.

Actually, that’s not true.

Everyone has opinions about your romantic life.

Your parents have their thoughts, your friends who haven’t dated in years think they know all the answers, and even your co-workers are willing to chyme in.

But consider whether any of those people actually have the love you want for yourself.

If they do, does their advice work? Can what’s worked for them be applied in your dating life?

Often our friends and family want what is best for us but have no idea how to get it themselves or can’t articulate it in an actionable way.

That’s what a coach can do.

You’re Next, Apply Now

If you want to find a super compatible lifetime partner our dating coach service is right for you.

But to be 100% certain, apply now.

Once you apply, if we think you’re a fit we’ll reach out and schedule a 50 minute 1-on-1 Zoom call.

During this call, we’ll talk more in-depth about the program, our philosophy, and put you on a track towards finding a partner you want to spend your life with.