11 Awesome Benefits of Dating an Older Woman

benefits of dating an older woman

Looking for some benefits of dating an older woman?

When it comes to age gap relationships, most people think of a younger woman and an older man. Seeing older men with younger women has practically become a cliche because it happens so often. People tend to accept it as the norm, but people don’t seem to chat nearly as much about relationships between younger men and older women.

While our culture can be beauty and youth-obsessed, a woman who has more years under her belt may prove to be the perfect partner thanks to experience, confidence and even a heightened sex drive. Without further ado, check out the 10 benefits of dating an older woman below.

Benefits of Dating an Older Woman 

#1: Older Women Tend to Be More Independent

Older women especially have established themselves and have their own lives. This means that they tend to be more independent. This is great because you won’t need to worry about a woman trying to cut in on your boys’ nights out and she won’t try to smother you when you need some alone time.

If you date a younger woman who doesn’t have much dating experience, she may feel uncertain of herself and get clingy. I’m not saying that this is always the case, but it can be more likely based on a lack of experience and immaturity.

Benefit #2: She Has Her Stuff Together Financially

Kanye West once warned us about gold diggers, but I don’t know if people are taking him as seriously nowadays, so this might be a good time to revisit that age-old lesson. One of the benefits of dating an older woman is that these women have their own money.

Because this woman has already established a career, promotions and the like, you don’t need to worry about getting taken advantage of financially.

One important thing to remember, however, is that even though she is able to take care of herself financially, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be paying for the first three dates. Even if she offers to split the bill, don’t allow her to do that. You will never see her naked if you do this and she will discount you as a qualified dating partner for making her pay. And being that she’s older and more adept at speaking her mind, she may call you out for not treating her to a $3 coffee or a $10 martini on the first date.

The good news here is that it’s honestly not going to cost you a whole bunch of money or wreck your credit score when you pay on the first three dates, even if you’re going out on dates with several different women at the same time. My rule of thumb for the first three dates is:

  • The first date should cost no more than $10 to $15.

  • The second date should be something active and free.

  • The third date can be the fancy dinner and also the point where you can see whether or not the two of you have long-term potential. This is also often the time that physical intimacy occurs.

In total, you should be spending about $100 over the first three dates before you get invited in or ask her back to your place to seal the deal. That’s not so bad if you think about how much the alternatives might cost you. 🙂

Benefit #3: You’ll Have Great Conversations

Older women have had more life experience and developed wisdom that you won’t find in a younger woman. This means that you can have deep and meaningful conversations, which can help you build a connection and enjoy the time you spend with them.

You won’t have to worry about sitting across from someone who gives monosyllabic answers or doesn’t really “get it” when you try to talk philosophically or tap into her inner sapiosexual.

Benefit #4: She Won’t Use You for Your Seed

If the woman is divorced and already has kids or if she’s in her 40s, she’s not going to be on a mission to have you inseminate her. This is a huge benefit if you don’t want kids.

Some younger women may be in a panic as they get closer to 30 because they want to get married and have kids and are worried that it won’t happen if they don’t go husband hunting. With an older woman, she will either already have kids, has chosen to not have kids or is past the point of freaking out about it.

However, if you want children, remember that a woman who is in her late 30s or early 40s is still able to have children, her chances are simply lower than they were before.

Benefit #5: She Knows What She Wants and She Will Let You Know

The older we get, the better we get to know ourselves and the more comfortable we get with our wants and needs.

An older woman, perhaps in her 40’s, is not going to beat around the bush when it comes to letting you know what she wants. She’s less likely to pussyfoot around an issue than a younger woman because she’s been there and done that. She already knows what she really doesn’t like.

If anyone is going to have to worry about beating around the bush in a relationship, it will more likely be you if you’re the younger person. And if you start playing games with her or get wishy-washy, you better believe she is going to call you out on it.

This is a huge benefit of dating an older woman because trust and honesty are two of the most important things when it comes to the foundation of a long-term relationship.

Benefit #6: She’s Less Dramatic

The older you get the less energy you have when it comes to the game or dramatics. If you’re dating a woman who is under the age of 25, you may notice that she has less control over her emotions, can be impulsive and may not have the maturity to date without playing games.

Moreover, there is scientific evidence that also states that certain parts of the brain are not fully developed until age 25. Between the ages of 18 and 25, the prefrontal cortex is still not fully developed. This part of the brain is what helps you practice impulse control and can also help you organize things in a way that helps you reach a goal (like settling down and getting married, meeting a goal to do with your career path etc.). A woman who is older has had plenty of time to get her emotions in check and has probably gotten a lot of bad, impulsive decisions out of her system.

Benefit #7: You’ll Learn More About Yourself

Even if you only date an older woman one time, it’s a great learning experience. She’s had years to learn about herself, travel, become more cultured and feel comfortable in her skin.

When you’re the younger person in a relationship, you can learn a lot from someone who has the benefit of a decade or so more experiences than you. Older women don’t sweat the small stuff as much as their younger counterparts and that is likely because they have already sweated the small stuff plenty of times and know how futile extreme rumination can be. Because they have learned how to handle different challenges, they can instill you with some of their wisdom.

Benefit #8: She Will Appreciate Your Youthful Ambition and Energy

According to an article in the New York Post, 42-year-old event planner, Amber Soletti, started dating men in their 20s and 30s after becoming frustrated with a lackluster love life (how’s that for alliteration?) and issues she had with men in her age group. She eventually got engaged to a man who was eight years her junior.

Soletti and other women in the article noted that they preferred being with younger men because they felt that they enjoyed the youthful energy and ambition of millennial men, as well as their younger suitors’ support of their careers and goals.

When it comes to career and ambitions, you always want to be with someone that is encouraging and supportive of you rather than someone who wants to control you or be controlled. If you and a partner aren’t on the same page in this area, it isn’t a true partnership.

Man older women also have significant experience when it comes to careers and goals, which can be beneficial to you if you’re seeking advice or need guidance when it comes to making certain moves.

Benefit #9: She’s More Confident

This is one of the greatest benefits of dating an older woman and one that can help build a strong foundation for a relationship.

With age comes wisdom and also confidence. Older women have already gone through their terrible breakups and come out on the other side; they’ve dealt with insecurities over appearance and learned to accept them, or at least accept them better than before.

Dating someone who is confident and comfortable with themselves is extremely important when it comes to a compatible, long-term partnership. Not only is confidence sexy, but a strong woman is going to treat you better than a woman with insecurities, or a woman who is emotionally unavailable.

When dating older women who are confident, you’ll reap benefits like:

  • She’s not going to play games with you.

  • She will tell you exactly how she feels.

  • She is more likely to get along with your friends and family.

  • She won’t manipulate you.

  • Because confidence is attractive, the sexual spark will be better and you will enjoy your experiences with her more.

  • She is less likely to become jealous or irrational.

  • She will trust you and prove to be a trustworthy person.

Benefit #10: She Has a Higher Sex Drive

I saved the best one for last!

When it comes to sexual compatibility, older women and younger men tend to work very well together.

Yes, women in their 30s and 40s are generally more sexual than women in their 20s. Older women have more sexual fantasies and more sex due to this heightened libido.

This works out very well for men, particularly those in their 20s, as sex drive begins to decline for men after they reach the age of 30.

As far as things in the bedroom go, dating an older woman is a great idea and can really ramp up your sex life. Plus, there are plenty of self-described cougars who find being with a younger man very alluring, which is only going to add to the spark between you too.

#11: She Won’t Try to Mold You

Many of my younger clients (20’s and 30’s) hire me after a breakup or when they’re recently single. Their stories are often pretty similar – they left their girlfriend because she was trying to “mold them into something they weren’t.”

This said woman had an “idea” or a “vision” of what their perfect boyfriend and relationship would look like. Weeks or months into their relationship (when reality set in), she decided to try and change her man’s ways. That’ll never work, trust me. 

If you’re considering dating an older woman, it’s likely her idea of a “perfect man” or a “perfect relationship” is gone with her years. She’s learned to select a mate for how he makes her feel – not for what she can turn him into. 

Wrap Up: Benefits of Dating an Older Woman

One way that you can meet older women â€” or women in general â€” that may prove to be a good match for you is by increasing the age requirements on your online dating profiles. Another way to really ramp up your dating life and enjoy a variety of new experiences is through MegaDating.

Megadating is a dating strategy that involves dating several people at the same time in order to diffuse energy by keeping your calendar full. When you MegaDate, dating becomes fun instead of frustrating. Because you are hanging out with different women instead of focusing on going out with one woman at a time, your confidence will increase, your anxiety will decrease, and you won’t settle for less than you deserve.

MegaDating also lessens the pain of rejection because you won’t get hung up on one person. Using this strategy is also great if you feel hesitant or intimidated by the idea of dating an older woman – just make sure the older woman you’re dating isn’t married.

With MegaDating, there is less pressure and you can meet tons of different women in order to find what is the right fit for you.

If you want to learn more about MegaDating or want to reach your dating goals faster, head over to my calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. 

During our session, we will discuss your dating roadblocks and create an action plan to help you stay out of the friend-zone and find the right partner. We’ll also discuss if my 3-month coaching program could be a fit for you

How to Date Like an Expert Even When You’re Not

how to date like an expert

Americans don’t have sex anymore.

I mean, some do.

Ashton Kutcher and Tiger Woods definitely get it on, but sex in America ain’t what it used to be.

Despite the genesis of dating apps and female liberation, people in their 20s today are having significantly less sex than their parents had when they were their age.

The sex recession is real, with 23% of all adult Americans going sexless in 2018. Oddly enough, it’s young people that are suffering most. A whopping 28% of male Americans ages 18-30 reported having no sex in 2018. That’s right, not even the tip.

I broach these stats not to make the future look flaccid, but to demonstrate that having sex -and by extension dating- isn’t as easy as it used to be. Didn’t go on a date recently? -no worries. Neither have millions of other Americans.

Some of the problems modern daters struggle with come in the forms of entertainment and technology. 20 years ago there were fewer ways to entertain yourself at home. Today you can play any music you want, binge Netflix until you lose feeling in your right buttcheek, or literally transport yourself elsewhere with the help of VR. Because of this, people are simply opting to stay in.

Another obstacle is financial. Americans want to date, but when the middle class is shrinking, fewer Americans are willing to splurge on dinner and a movie for two.

Even the way we ask women out has changed. A 2017 Economist poll found that 17% of Americans ages 18-29 believe that a man asking a woman out for a drink “always” or “usually” constitutes sexual harassment.

What have we come to?

There is a complex matrix of issues that have changed the dating landscape, making modern dating more confusing and tiresome. But instead of focusing on the issues you can’t change, let’s deal with the ones you can.

Learning how to date becomes a much simpler endeavor when you’re not trying to jump over multi-story obstacles.

How to Date Like an Expert: The Variables We Can Control

Dive In Head First, Or Not At All

You downloaded Tinder, amassed a bunch of matches and chatted with a few women. But there’s something crucial missing about your Tinder experience thus far.

Biological anthropologist and chief scientific advisor to Match.com, Helen Fisher, says that Americans don’t understand how to use dating apps. “Dating app”, is a bit of a misnomer. Really what Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge are, are introductory apps.

So that’s great that you’ve matched with some women on Tinder, but I’m afraid that isn’t the point of the application.

You’re not swiping through dating apps for a female pen pal are you?

Why did you sign up for a dating app in the first place? Were you just bored or were you serious about using the app as a tool to find a woman that you can one day call your own?

This is the first rule of modern dating. It’s all in or nothing.

You’re wasting your time sending senseless memes to women you meet online if you aren’t serious about ever meeting them in person. Doing so makes you part of the 50% club. 50% of Tinder users have never dated a match. Don’t contribute to this statistic.

Look, dating can be terrifying.

But on the other side of fear is magic.

There’s a reason you’re so scared of dating. It’s because you want so badly what’s on the other side of rejection. You want to play tipsy scrabble with that cutie from Bumble, you want to go on a weekend getaway to Napa with the girl you’re starting to get serious about, you want to find a woman that makes you so happy you tear a cheek muscle.

Here’s the catch. You only get these things if you go all in.

Prepare For Rejection

Dating and rejection go together like a wedding ring and a ring finger.

To get to one, you’ll have to go through the other.

A book can be written about dealing with rejection, and in fact many have.

Entrepreneur, author, and founder of Rejection Therapy, Jia Jang, sought out to get rejected 100 times in 100 days. He even vlogged his experiences. Jang was being held back socially and professionally by his fear of rejection.

So he decided to engage in a little exposure therapy. For 100 consecutive days, his goal was to get rejected. He asked strangers for $100, requested donuts in the shape of the Olympic rings, and challenged a CEO to a staring contest.

Dealing with rejection was difficult at first. His ego was fragile and not used to getting prodded and challenged on a daily basis. But with time he learned to deal with it. Take what Jia learned and apply it to your life.

The truth is that there is no single method or pill you can take that will give you the courage to stare rejection in the face and not back down. The un-sexy truth is that the only way to learn how to deal with rejection is to get rejected, over and over again.

In preparing for rejection also take into account why you’re even putting yourself in the situation for rejection. Most likely you’re doing so because the risk of rejection is worth it for the reward. It’s worth being rejected by the woman you hit it off with at your buddy’s party because should she accept your date TDL, you’ll be going on a date with a woman that could potentially become your girlfriend.

Remember that rejection hurts so much because you want so badly what she’s offering. If you’re rejected by a woman and feel nothing, you probably never wanted anything to do with her in the first place.

External Variables Are Always In Play

You’re never fully in control.

Every person is living a life as complex as yours. They have their own goals, insecurities, idiosyncrasies, and emotional states.

You have no idea if your date is just getting over a 7-year breakup, has a diagnosed psychiatric condition, an STD, is looking for $$ or free dinners, etc. It’s your job to filter these people by asking first, second, and third date questions that provoke an answer that helps you decide whether or not you want to see them again.

Don’t expect to learn everything about a woman after a few Hinge messages. To have a more well-rounded understanding of an individual you have to meet them in person. There’s no other substitute for a face to face date.

Through the use of a MegaDating strategy, you’re able to quickly weed out women that aren’t to your liking.

MegaDating

MegaDating adheres to a unique dating blueprint that offers detailed guidelines on the first three dates.

Ya see, to increase your chances of meeting a woman that you’d like to spend the rest of your life with you’ll have to date around -MegaDating will help you do that.

Through this prolific dating strategy you’ll learn how to mine dates, court women, and quickly figure out if you’re compatible or not with the woman sitting across the table. Let’s outline the MegaDating strategy as it pertains to the first three dates.

1st Date

A first date is an introductory date. Whether you met the woman you asked out via an app or at a party, chances are she’s still a stranger. Why flash the cash or commit to a five-hour date with a person that you don’t even know?

First dates shouldn’t last longer than an hour. You also shouldn’t spend more than $10.

Look, when you MegaDate, you’ll be dating a lot of women. If you date 3 women a week for three months without MD, you could be spending upwards of $2,000 on first dates alone. Save your time and money and stick to the plan.

2nd Dates

Second dates should always be active. Ditch the restaurant and coffee shop in exchange for a bike ride or hike. Make sure the date is outside and during the date-time.

If first dates are limited to $10 you’d think spending more on a second date would be a good idea right? Wrong. Second dates are free. This is to ensure that she’s not into you just for your money or access to fine dining. If the connection’s strong enough you won’t need money to have an awesome date.

Also, make sure you’re building rapport by touching her often. No need to touch her leg or lower back. Keep these touches innocuous enough while building sexual tension.

3rd Dates

If she’s made it to this stage it means she’s special.

Show her what she means to you by turning off the financial and time restrictions. Feel free to ask her out on a romantic dinner date. Third dates should be romantic, full of touching, and close to your apartment. Should things become romantic you’ll want to easily transition this romance from the bar or restaurant to your bedroom.

How To Date: First Date Tips

First dates are the most fragile period of the courting process. Should a first day go poorly, you’re done for. Here are three tips to ensure that you have a pleasant first date.

Make Your Intentions Clear

No you’re not meeting up to gossip about Love Is Blind or discuss your buddy’s wedding plans. This isn’t a business meeting and no, you’re don’t need help getting your website up and running. This is a date, plain and simple. But does she know that? Make things clear before the first date by asking her out with a TDL.

Prepare An Exit Strategy

As we’ve discussed, first dates should last no longer than an hour… but is she cool with that? Before the date begins tell her you only have an hour to hang. Making this clear prior to the date will quell any questions she might have about why the date only lasted an hour. Tell her you need to meet up with friends, see your parents, finish a project -hell you can even tell her you have a one-hour first date policy.

Stay Positive

Don’t talk about how difficult work is or how you haven’t gone on a date in a decade. You can open up to her without being negative. Joke around, keep things light, and determine whether or not you’d like to see this person ever again.

How To Date: Second Date Tips

Second dates are just as fragile as first dates. These three tips will ensure that she accepts a third date proposal.

Sweat

Sweating is sexy. Get physical on a second date by going for a hike, bike riding, hitting up a spin class, dancing, etc. What’s important is that you two aren’t stagnant. Science shows that couples that engage in physical activity together increase their happiness, strengthen bonds, and ultimately fall in love.

No Time Limit

First dates are like protracted speed dates. Second dates are the opposite. Don’t rush things. There’s only so much you can learn from someone in an hour. Being active on a first date will show you how your date operates in a different context. Pay attention to how she reacts to challenges, how her humor changes depending on the setting, how she treats others, etc.

Recall Your First Date

Did you pay attention to what she said on a first date? Show her you were listening by harkening back to something she said on a first date. Use what you learned on the first date to create jokes and broach subjects you know interest her. Continue to learn more about her by questioning things she talked about on your first date.

How To Date: Third Date Tips

This is the big one. Financial and time restrictions have been done away with. It’s on this outing that you can reasonably expect to be physically romantic. With that in mind, heed these tips.

Meet Up Close To Your House

Thing are heating up. You two have been kissing for the past ten minutes and you’re thinking now would be a good time to ask her back to your place. The only problem is that you’re 45 minutes away from your apartment. Don’t let this be you. Pick a third date venue that’s no longer than 15 minutes away from your abode.

Prepare Your Living Quarters

Clean your room and tell your roommate you might bring a woman over tonight. These are variables you can easily control. Do your laundry, put some candles in place, and update your sex playlist.

Consider upgrading your bedroom/living room lighting to dimmable LED. My boyfriend and I just did this and it’s a total aphrodisiac.

Prep Your Body

Trim your hair, throw on some cologne, stretch if you need to, do whatever you think necessary to make the sexual experience more enjoyable for the both of you.

How To Date With Dating Apps

30% of adult Americans have at one point used a dating app. It’s now the most popular way to meet your partner in America. Like them or not dating apps are en vogue. Dating apps are great tools single men can use to find a partner; but only if they’re used correctly. There’s no use bringing a bat to the plate if your back is facing the pitcher.

The easiest change you can make to your profile is to get rid of all selfies. A Hinge study found that selfies were 40% less likely to get liked than the average photo. Selfies are basic. You want to post high-value candid photos of you while you’re playing sports, traveling abroad, or engaging in your favorite hobby.

As we’ve mentioned, dating apps are really introductory apps. Don’t get sucked into a never-ending conversation. Set a 10 message exchange limit before asking her on a date or getting her phone number.

When you do ask her on a date, be specific and use a TDL. TDL stands for time, date, location. Instead of saying, “hey wanna go out sometime?” use a TDL and say, “Hey Sam, are you up for trying Frog Leg’s newest IPA at 7 p.m. this Wednesday at Hollow Cow? There’s only 10 kegs shipped into San Francisco– so now’s our chance….”

How To Date Without Apps

So you’re old school, I get it. Even though dating apps are happening, there are those that just can’t get into them. So how can you excel in the dating world without one?

The biggest issue dudes that snub online dating face is figuring out how to mine dates. The first two places to find love are at work and within your friend group. But once these shallow social streams have been tapped where do you look?

Here’s a brief list of places you can go to find dates:

  • Workout or bootcamp class

  • Yoga class

  • Health food store

  • Parties/concerts

  • Religious community event

  • Meditation retreat, mindfulness class, or psychology workshop

  • Event for a social cause or charity

  • Volunteer event

  • Co-ed adult sports league

  • Professional networking event

  • Speed dating event

Change Your Frame Of Mind

Guys have a tendency of psyching themselves out. They see a hot girl across the room and freeze up. More often than not they’re too afraid to strike up a conversation with a woman because they’re afraid of failing.

When success means scoring a phone number that leaves quite a lot of room for failure. Instead of having these expectations why not frame conversations as just that, conversations, nothing more. This will take away the pressure of performing.

Sharpen Your Social Skills

Starting a conversation on Tinder is easy. You just say “hi.” This message is expected. You and the recipient are on a dating app so there’s no confusion as to your intentions. She’s obviously open to receiving a message from you because you two already matched.

But this dynamic changes drastically when IRL. Become a social maven by simply having more conversations. Talk to people on the subway, while waiting in line at the restaurant, and yes, even while riding the elevator together. Approach both men and women. It’s these conversations that will refine your social abilities and prepare you for striking up conversations with an attractive female.

Conclusion – Just Hire A Freaking Coach

Modern dating is exasperating.

The rules are changing so rapidly it’s tough to keep up. I mean, in what world do we live in when 17% of Americans think that asking someone out for a drink is sexual harassment?

To demystify the dating scene, let’s team-up. When you book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me you’ll be hiring a professional wingwoman. During this intro session we’ll discuss your roadblocks, create an action plan, and see if my 3 month Signature Program could help you achieve your goals in record time.

With my Signature program you’ll be equipped with the skills you need to dominate the dating scene. We’ll address everything from creating the perfect dating profile, to selecting the best photos for your dating apps, how to create an ideal partner, how to flirt with strangers in coffee shops, how to build enough tension to make her want to see you again and again, and much more. Throughout the process, we’ll create a dating blueprint tailor-made to your needs.