Have you heard of sneating? No, I didn’t spell “sneaking” wrong (I edit these things, guys!) — sneating is a new(ish) dating trend that feeds on chivalrous men.
The trend first made waves (and earned a place in Urban Dictionary) when Whim published a story detailing a single college student who confessed her sneating ways. The financially struggling student fell into a habit of going on dates with men she met online purely to enjoy a lavish meal and drinks.
Are these women who sneat the type that Kanye West and Jamie Foxx warned us about in 2005?
Or, is this trend defendable in certain cases? Let’s investigate, shall we?
Who is Affected By Sneating?
Heterosexual males seem to be the main group affected by this trend. This is because it is expected that men pay for the first date when out with a woman. Yes, it’s 2018, and progressive times mean women are making their own money and can afford a meal. Still, women (myself included) generally prefer that men pay for the first few dates.
No, we’re not trying to wreck your credit score. It’s simply a nice and gentlemanly gesture that showcases chivalry and makes a woman feel special. Nowadays, it’s more difficult to find a guy who takes chivalry seriously and does the following:
- Pays for the first date
- Holds the door open (one almost slammed in my face during a date not too far back 🙁 SPOILER: I never went out with the guy again)
- Pulls a chair out
- Makes a reservation
- Has an actual plan when it comes to what the date will entail
When You Leave a Woman Hungry
As I said, many women who prefer a man pay for the date aren’t gold diggers. We really just want a guy to be polite, i.e., not a complete toolbox. Women who date actively end up grabbing dinner or drinks with a plethora of creepers over the years. When you’re chivalrous and pay for a date without expecting anything in return, you stand out.
Moreover, it’s appreciated when a date involves some sort of sustenance. This doesn’t need to be a meal worthy of a Michelin star — just something nice to stave off hanger pains.
True Story
A few years ago, a guy invited me out on a first date to a really nice Italian restaurant. He wanted to meet there around 6 pm. Once I got there, he insisted we sit at the bar.
He also let me know that he ate dinner before we got there.
He proceeded to order drinks for us and asked if I wanted to do a shot.
Meanwhile, heaping plates of decadent Italian fare were being paraded around us by wait staff at “Be Our Guest” levels of efficiency.
“I’ve heard they have really good food here,” my date said.
Me:
If this guy was looking to avoid a sneat attack, he certainly did just that. My liquid dinner was pretty cheap. But he also avoided the chance to ever see me again.
Avoid Sneating…and Coming Off as Cheapskate
My personal opinion on sneating is that I don’t agree with it. I don’t think guys should have to shell out a huge amount of money on a first date with someone they barely know (save the fancy dinner for the third date).
However, if you’re going to take a girl out to a nice restaurant on a first date, you’re basically setting yourself up to spend some coin.
To avoid getting taken advantage of financially — while also impressing your date — just avoid the restaurant altogether. Come up with something that is creative and doesn’t cost a lot. Pick an eclectic cafe that serves specialty coffee drinks instead of just going to Starbucks. Check out a food market or outdoor festival during the daytime.
Once you get to know a person better and develop a strong connection, you’ll be able to determine whether or not you can shell out some cash on a date without getting ghosted later.
Images: Giphy (3)