When the dating world becomes frustrating, turn your attention to your mind. Being mindful and MegaDating are two key strategies in overcoming your dating roadblocks and crushing your goals. Using these strategies also helps you find mindful singles who are compatible with you so you can stop settling and attract a high-value girlfriend.
So what is mindfulness exactly?
Defining Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the conscious observation of your thoughts and actions in the present moment with the absence of judgment. When you practice mindfulness, you are focusing on the current situation in front of you, and the way you feel about the situation. Mindfulness is intended to provide you with clarity about what you want, allows for a mindset that is more privy to growth and opportunity and is meant to provide you with a life that is lived with integrity, passion, and fulfillment.
What is MegaDating?
MegaDating is a dating strategy that involves going on dates with several different women at the same time in order to diffuse your energy and keep your social calendar full. This process is not about being a player or sleeping with several different women — quite the contrary. MegaDating is for people who are not in exclusive relationships seeking their most compatible partner.
When you MegaDate, you avoid settling for the mediocre because you get to compare and contrast many different potential partners. This is extremely important in alleviating the anxiety that comes with finding “the one,” which can make you behave less authentically when dating.
MegaDating also makes you extremely appealing. When you go out with several women at the same time instead of chasing one woman, a sense of competition is naturally stimulated in partners, increasing your desirability.
Find Mindful Singles Through MegaDating
Tip #1: Use a TDL
When you MegaDate, you want to consistently use a TDL when asking women out — whether you meet them through a dating app, at a bar, through a friend, at a recreational activity, or various other ways.
A TDL is what we here at EmLovz use to refer to a date’s call-to-action and it is an acronym for Time, Date and Location. When you ask a woman out, you should always give her a specific time of day that the date is occurring, a day of the week that it is occurring and the location of the date.
Doing this prevents a frustrating back-and-forth between the two of you when you are trying to come up with plans and it also is chivalrous. When you use a TDL, you are taking all the work off of the girl you want to take out, showing her that you are considerate of her time and actually decided to think a date plan through instead of issuing her a lame, “So, you wanna hang out?”
Tip #2: Make the Date Compelling
One way to really stand out among other guys and attract mindful singles is to make your date idea extremely compelling. When you suggest a date using a TDL, make the date something that caters to the girl’s interest while also offering her a brand new experience. When you do this, it greatly lessens the chances of rejection and can help you build a better connection with the person you’re interested in.
For example, if the girl you are asking out is an animal lover, you could take her to a Doga (dog yoga) or cat yoga class. You could also suggest something like a Yappy Hour, where you can bring a dog or possibly adopt a dog who needs a home.
Tip #3: Make Your Dates Active
Mindfulness is all about being engaged in the present moment. When your asking out different women, seek out different types of dates — based on their and your interests — that also involve a lot of movement. When you’re active during a date instead of simply sitting across from each other, you’re able to behave more authentically because you’ll be caught up in the activity.
Some active dates can include things like:
-Hiking (I recommend downloading the AllTrails app if you’re going this route. My boyfriend and I actually use this app all the time to find cool trails and we love it!)
-Taking a scenic bike ride
-Walking on the beach
-Visiting a park and having a picnic
-Taking a tour of a brewery or winery
-Going to an indoor rock climbing gym
-Taking an exercise class for couples, like a dance class or partner yoga
-Sampling foods at a farmers market
-Indoor putt-putt-golf
–Tough Mudder event (make sure your date is super active for this one)
-Jiu-Jitsu class
Tip #4: Choose Nature-Based Dates
Getting out in the elements can be a great way to get physical and completely eliminate nervousness during a date. Several studies have found a link between experiencing nature and better mood.
Moreover, being out in the sunshine as opposed to being cooped up inside is great for your health and naturally makes you happy. This is extremely important in avoiding mindlessness and overthinking during a date.
Some nature-based dates can include:
-Hiking
-Visiting a park
-Going to the beach
-Stargazing during an outdoor music festival
-Paddle Boating
-Taking a bike ride
Tip #5: Treat Dating Like a Research Project
My discovery of MegaDating and realization that it is the most effective strategy when it comes to finding a compatible partner came from a research project. During my 100-date experiment, I literally looked at dating as an opportunity to research and gain all the information there was to know about love and if love truly existed.
It worked. By the end of my experiment, I had found a compatible, long-term partner. It worked for me and it can work for you too!
Go out with as many women as you can and view each date as an opportunity for discovery. If 100 dates scares you, then maybe you try setting a goal of 25 or 50 first dates. When you set realistic goals you are more likely to achieve them.
Be engaged with the woman you’re on a date with and, even if the date feels like it’s not going great, be mindful by observing the situation and your feelings without criticism.
Ask yourself what worked and what didn’t work about the date, what part you had in the success or failure of the date, and how the person you were out with aligned or didn’t align with things you value in a partner.
Tip #6: Stop Fearing Rejection
Rejection is an extremely important part of the dating process. Instead of fearing rejection and criticizing yourself when it happens, look at rejection as an opportunity for growth and opportunity. The more you put yourself out there, the better you will get at your approach when it comes to dating and the less rejection will happen over time.
Plus, when you MegaDate, rejection is naturally easier to handle. Because you are already hanging out with four or five girls at a time, one rejection isn’t going to sting so much.
Being able to go with the flow is another aspect that will help you attract other mindful singles and stay authentic while out on dates.
Tip #7: Sign Up for Websites Like MeetMindful
When coaching my male clients, I always recommend that they seek out a variety of different ways to meet women. This includes downloading a variety of dating apps and signing up for dating websites.
One website that is made specifically for mindful singles is MeetMindful. Another website that is more in tune with mindful living is Green Singles. Although Green Singles caters to vegans and vegetarians, you don’t have to follow either of those lifestyles to be a member and benefit from the website’s services.
The one caveat with these sites is that the best services come at a cost. If you have the funds, definitely go for it. If not, there are a ton of free apps and websites available. Just keep in mind that most of the time in life you always get what you pay for.
Try Our Coaching or Matchmaking Services
If you want to attract mindful singles with a goal of finding your most suitable long term partner…. emlovz is here to help.
Each week my team and I coach and matchmake for dozens of men who want to find mindful dating partners, their next girlfriend, a long term partner, or wife.
If this sounds like you, then head on over to my calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 new client zoom session with me or one of my colleagues today. During our intro session, we will create an action plan that is tailored to your specific needs so that you can crush your dating goals and find the girl of your dreams.