Hey guys! It’s Emyli, dating coach for men. In this article, I’d like to share with you some very helpful tips on how to compliment a girl you like. 

During my 100-date experiment, I was complimented a lot.

Sometimes the compliments were great, but most of the time they had the opposite effect. After reviewing my research on the topic, I realized that most guys don’t realize how effective compliments can be in escalating our sexual attraction towards them. I also realized that I could tell a lot about a guy based on his compliments–whether he was genuine or just looking for action, if he was too overconfident or just plain needy.

Listen up guys: your compliments can turn a girl off, big time.

Fortunately, a good compliment can seriously turn us on!

Knowing how to compliment a girl you like can be tricky. If you want to stay on top of the game, you’ve got to learn how to compliment a woman in a natural, honest, and flattering way.

Here are some helpful tips to remember when talking to a woman you’re interested in.

Limit Your Compliments to Just A Few Per Date

A lot of guys on my 100-date experiment seemed to think that the more compliments to give a girl, the better. Actually, this had the opposite effect on me, and would make me feel annoyed!

Giving too many compliments will make you seem clueless and desperate. Try to focus on giving a few great compliments per date–no more, no less. The less you compliment, the more impactful each compliment becomes.  

A general rule of thumb is the more often you date the more compliments you can give. Still, be aware that like with so many other ways of expressing affection, there is a bell curve when it comes to complimenting. Too few and she won’t think you’re into her, too many and she’ll think you a low-value man that doesn’t get out of the house much. There is a sweet spot, which is normally 2-4 compliments every date.

Make Them Natural and Genuine

Unless she’s particularly self-obsessed, most women can smell a fake compliment a mile away. If you’re going to give her a compliment, make sure you actually believe what you’re saying about her! If it’s not true, it’s much better to keep your mouth shut about it.

This has to be the most important piece of advice that I can give you on how to compliment a girl you like. Don’t try too hard to come up with something to say. In fact, save your compliments to give a girl for the times when she really impresses you! If that moment never comes, then it’s best to move along and find someone you really admire.

On the other hand, you might be letting nerves take over your ability to feel natural and genuine when getting to know someone. If this happens to you, make sure to check out my article on how to feel more authentic on dates, and feel comfortable and confident the next time you talk with a woman.

Be Prepared to Back Up Compliments with Proof

Like I said in the last section, do not think too hard about what kind of compliments to give a girl. Your compliments need to come across as natural, positive observations you’ve made about her that come from the heart–especially because she might challenge you on it!

If you have good taste the woman you’re dating is quick thinker. She may well want to ask follow-up questions in order to read your reactions and judge your sincerity. After giving her a compliment, you’re likely to hear one of the following follow-up questions:

•      How so?
•      What do you mean by that?
•      What makes you say that?
•      When have I ever ______ ?

Never underestimate these follow-up questions! If any of these types of questions pop up after you’ve just given her a compliment, she’s interested in you romantically. At the same time, it also means that she’s testing you. You’ll come across as attentive, genuine and caring if you can come up with some good, relevant examples of why you complimented her in the first place–so make sure they’re genuine.

Use Specific Compliments

Another great tip on how to compliment a woman is to give more specific compliments and avoid general ones that you could give to just anyone.

Try to make your compliments as specific as possible to avoid vague, overused phrases that she’s heard a million times before. She’ll remember the time you complimented her on something unique and genuine because it shows that you’re really paying attention to her and who she is.

For example, instead of “You’re so funny”. Try saying, “I’ve never met someone that could make me laugh that hard about  ________.”

Add Impact to Your Compliment with Eye Contact

Learning how to compliment a woman isn’t all about the words you use–it also involves a lot of physical communication. Assuming your compliment sounds genuine and straight from the heart, you’ll have the most impact on her if you make eye contact when you give it. Eye contact is an important part of communication, and avoiding her gaze might make you come across as too shy, not serious, or untrustworthy.

If she smiles and keeps eye contact afterwards, it’s the right time to subtly touch her. Don’t miss out on this opportunity! 

Some ways you build attraction through touch (that won’t turn her off) include:

• Leaning forward when laughing at her joke and touching her arm or hand for a second
• Ask for her hands so you can examine her cool nails
• Jokingly bump her
• Fist bump
• High five
• Tell her you’ll be right back, and touch her lightly on the back as you walk by
• Guide her through doorways
• Touch her back so as to prevent her from crossing the street
• Always remember to hug hello. If you weren’t able to hug her, soon after say how rude that was and hug her

Steer Clear from Complimenting Her Looks

Want to know how to compliment a woman on her looks?

The answer is, don’t! You’ll never get a hot girlfriend by telling her she’s beautiful! 

Even if it’s true, you don’t compliment a woman on her looks, especially if you’re just getting to know her.

Why?

Because women are used to getting complimented on their appearance, and she already knows you’re attracted to her, physically speaking. The best compliments to give a girl focus on the things that aren’t obvious.

Her appearance is obvious. Of course you think she’s gorgeous–but telling her won’t give you any points that she hasn’t already given to every other guy that’s said the same thing. Focus instead on commenting something nice about who she is, how she thinks, and what she does–instead of just what she looks like. 

Compliment Her In Person

It’s easy to say the hard things online.

So many of us have grown up as texters that sometimes it feels more natural to chat online than IRL.

The thing is, online compliments don’t count as much as saying them in person. If you tell a woman how awesome she is, that you’ve never met a woman as unique as her, it’ll hit harder if you say it to her face rather than text her as much after a date. Sure, you may feel a little embarrassed, but my advice is to run towards that fear. On the other side of that fear is magic.

Not to mention that if you never say a nice thing about her in person then text her a litany of compliments after the date she’ll think you have poor communication and emotional skills.

Do Not Neg

Negging, despite what you may have heard elsewhere, is bad.

Don’t neg.

Just don’t.

If you don’t know what negging is, it’s making a backhanded insult designed to lower her self-esteem, make her feel vulnerable, leaving her more open to your advances.

These are not the type of “compliments” to give a woman.

Examples of negging are:

•      “You’re really unphotogenic, for being so pretty.”
•      “You’re hot, but you should probably hit the gym more.”
•      “Did you wake up late this morning? I can tell.”

Even if you end a neg with the usual “just kidding”, your date can and will take your comment the wrong way–even if she ends up with you at the end of the night. Yes, negging can work–if what you want to attract is a fragile, weak woman who’s only with you because she’s not strong enough to say no.

Confident women with healthy self-esteems will not be fooled by negging, and will resent you for it. Besides, if you’re looking for something other than a confident woman, or if what you actually want is someone you can break down, you need to do a little bit more work on yourself before trying to connect with someone else.

How to Know if You Were Successful, and What to Do Next

If you were successful with your compliment, you’ll know. A woman instantly warms up to a guy when she feels that he’s paid attention to her and appreciates her, and she’ll probably start flirting a little harder afterwards.

Can you tell when women are flirting with you? Don’t miss out on her attempts to show you she’s into you by learning the obvious and more subtle ways that women flirt. Read my article on Flirting Signals and don’t miss out on the opportunity to take a new relationship to the next level. And here’s a list of other articles that might help you get a first date with her, and more: 

• First Date Tips for Men who want to get a second date
• Questions to Ask a Woman on a First Date
• First Date Ideas For Men Who Want To Get to the Second Date
• Third Date Tips for Men to help you close the deal
• List of Free Dating Sites and Apps to help you get more dates

Get Serious About Your Technique

Dating Decoded

Interested in learning how we here at emlovz can help you?

We teach our students the shortcut to finding their ideal match by MegaDating. MegaDating is our dating philosophy and it shapes everything we teach here at emlovz. Simply put MegaDating is dating prolifically with the specific goal of going on 20 dates in 90 days. This will give you ample women to compare and contrast so you can refine not only your dating skills but also who your ideal partner is.

To teach you how to quickly find highly compatible women in just weeks and become the most eligible bachelor in town you’ll team up with romantic experts, each skilled in their own unique area to support you.

Our Team

• Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host two coaching sessions every week
• Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll lead the biweekly Man Cave event where men come together to talk dating, bond with one another, and support other single men
• Brooke, and Audrey are mock date specialists. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
• Darshil is a confidence coach, wingman, and all around great guy to have on your team. Once student, now a teacher he knows what you’re going through and how to get the most from your dating life
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• Mia is our social media expert. Revamp your Facebook and Instagram profiles with her help and start meeting women online

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And look, we realize that the single life can be difficult. If accepted into our coaching program, Dating Decoded, you’d be joining a community of supportive men and coaches who are there to listen, support, and encourage you as you navigate the single life.

Our program offers every student a lifetime membership (as if you’ll need it) so the support won’t stop until you’ve found your ideal partner.

If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, your goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.

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